The Currents

A description of the currents I see in the air. I don't know if it's some kind of psychic thing or if I have a vision disorder, but, whatever they are, they give me inspiration.

Through the air, currents run.

They move, quick as lightning,

To the nearest object.

Connecting all the universe,

They spin their complex web.

 

Iridescent particles float,

Passing through the most solid things.

Showing pathways to new places

And old, forgotten ones.

Always, they search.

 

Clothing souls in majestic robes,

They surround life,

Giving inspiration and hope

To all they touch,

Moving with a mind of their own.

 

A pattern emerges,

In the midst of the chaos.

They are made of the greatest things:

Shadows, mists, spirits,

Light, and thoughts.

 

The currents pulse and flash,

Sifting through the fine, golden sands of time.

They bloom and burst

Like invisible flowers,

Showing the bonds of the heart.

 

They spin their tales

In beautiful mosaics

Of peace, trust, and love.

They flow freely through all space and time,

Currents of twilight's pull.

Author's Note

Feel free to critique. I'm not sure how well I did on this one. ?

Reviews

[J]

You've heard of leylines, right? Magnetic lines of concentrated energy which a lot of sacred sites are situated on, and which birds apparently follow on their migrations. This is the closest thing it reminded me of.

I think you state your message here well. However, I have some constructive thoughts for you to mull over, since you asked in your author's note: "Indescribable particles float"... I don't like how you write "indescribable"... it's too easy, too lazy, you get what I'm saying? Either don't say/write it, or try to describe it. My one other nitpick was for you to try to break out of 4 and 5 line stanzas. I think you rely on them too much. Vary your line-lengths, use enjambment, break free and try new things, is what I'm saying. I know it's hard to do and ultimately creatively frightening but you'll feel... much, much more free because of it.

I'm not really such an anally-retentive critic. But things like this need to be written by someone to make that other person grow.

Anyway, this was very cosmic, very elemental. I have traces of Wiccanism in my spiritual makeup so this makes perfect sense.

[Emily B]

This is wonderful. I'm so glad J. sent this my way. I don't have a word for your currents but I think it must be a wonderful up-lifting gift. And you described it beautifully.

[Wildfleour]

I wrote a poem once about the music I hear in the space "in-between" the silence. I don't think what you see is crazy at all - you are just highly tuned in. Everything is connected.

[Justin Tobey]

Sorry, it's a little unclear. The currents are fictional energy pathways I thought up that connect all living beings. I've thought about them for a while, so I wrote this poem. Sorry!

--SilverFlame

[CJ]

i am a little confused with it.....maybe its just me but i never fully got what u were talking about.....but very descriptive if i knew what to imagine...lol good job!