Wisdom of Zero Space

This is pretty "off-the-wall" stuff...May be frustrating to read. Probably has a few single malt scotches before putting pen-to-paper...

Ancient and forgotten are the scrolls…

Planet… Tomb… Occipital Lobe… Everywhere but nowhere “it” resides…

A passing feeling of nostalgia? A shivering down your spinal cord? An eerie beckoning from the realm of the unconscious stream that flows and shapes to infinity?

Blood is let…Wisdom is theorized about…Planes of thought bound and leap and crawl from one dimension to the millionth…

Folding and stretching and contracting in space and time…

Formulation and neural indulgence cometh from the unknown…

The first firing of chemicals…the next logical step…micro-level simplicity that exploded to the brain-fusion creation of the Large Hadron Collider…

Cannot intellectually grasp the concepts and myriad possibilities that float in the universe and its mind-blowing movement, expansion, implosion, creation…

Existence in the tangible is fleeting and mortal…transcendence in the ether is boundless and free from the shackles of the relentless ticking of a clock and the ebb and flow of the tide…

Secrets lie in waiting for the opportunity to reveal themselves… For the inaugural time or the replication and honing of a message processed and communicated throughout history...

Thought spectrums are detoured to different lobes…however, there is a long-dormant passage that few have travelled…semantics and traditional science cannot remotely grasp its meaning, functionality, potential…

Millennium may pass before the invitation is given…

Reviews

[writing mojo]

you know I get this..dark matter feeling of which is the remembrance of a star, the big bang sheen exploding...with only so much filtrable in the centric sulcus between right and left..i like this journey great write

[Steve L.]

I am really happy that you enjoyed this piece! Thank you!

[Briana O'Connor]

This is a very deep and thought provoking piece, entwined with an essence of intellectual insight. I recommend breaking down some of the long lines into more than just the one. There are some significant pauses in this piece that really add depth. The perception and perspective is thrown off by such long phrases. Breaking them up would add impact and emphasis. Thank you for sharing and keep up the great work!

[Steve L.]

Thank you for the critique. I agree that I need to break up some of my lines.

[Eve Ola]

Secrets lie in waiting for the opportunity to reveal themselves... an original piece, keep up

[Michael G. Smith]

Drunk poetry... I love it. It also reaffirms why I don't drink anymore, lol.

[Steve L.]

Ha! Thanks!

[Matching Socks]

Well, yes this was out there but it interesting to read.
And given that you work in a Federal Law Enforcement and do Yoga, I'm not at all surprised you'd be looking for truth, meaning....answers. :)

[Steve L.]

Hmmm...I like that analysis! Never thought of it that way. Thank you.

[Matching Socks]

Well, I was sort of being a smarty pants... :D
OMG, just read my review, forgive the typos!

[Steve L.]

No problem.

[AprilRN1210]

"Planes of thought bound and leap and crawl from one dimension to the millionth…" (would cut out one of the "and" here.. (planes of thought bound, leap, and crawl from one dimension to the millionth)

Nice writing, but yes, pretty "out there".. lost me for sure... wheeew, mind-blowing is right...

I see one other reviewer caught two of the things I would change, I would add these suggestions, if I may.......

"Folding and stretching and contracting in space and time…"... (would cut out another of the "and" here)... (Folding, stretching, and contracting in space and time)

"Secrets lie in waiting for the opportunity to reveal themselves…"... (not sure here but shouldn't it be "lie and wait?")

[Steve L.]

Yes, yes, and yes :) Thank you for the honest review. This one really is a hot mess!

[AprilRN1210]

haha... hot mess is good sometimes... :)
it is always a pleasure..

[AprilRN1210]

I saw that down there mister!!! and to that I say---hey!! mine was positive!!! grrrr@you.... mine was also honest:P
doesn't that count for something???

[Steve L.]

You actually having amazing reviews. Whether they are good or bad, I know they are from the heart and are related to how the poem feels to you. I have the utmost respect for your feedback!!!! :)

[AprilRN1210]

that is better!!! I try to be helpful, honest, constructive, genuine, and sincere... we are here to learn, right?... I know I am... I want you to tell me what I could change, or whatever... :)
and thank you... lol

[Steve L.]

My pleasure :)

[AprilRN1210]

.............:P............

[Lydia Shutter]

The vastness of the Universe is impossible to grasp. I think perhaps when I have been on the deck of a ship on a moonless night I have come closest to understanding the magnitude of it all. The blackness envelopes and the stars only give a bit of light. Certainly this is stream of consciousness. Not sure where you were going with it, but just as you said, "semantics and traditional science cannot remotely grasp its meaning"....I had trouble with this! :) Lydi**

[Steve L.]

A lot of rambling in this one...Not really sure where it was going. Thank you for the review.

[MomzillaNC]

Really cool rush of ideas. The flux of your theme is both expansive and leading us somewhere.

"Wisdom is theorized… " the word "about" seems superfluous and breaks the meter of that line.

"Millennia" is the plural of "Millennium"

[Steve L.]

Thank you for your review! And I cannot believe I used Millennium!! Good catch.

[Steve L.]

And I agree that "about" is a wasted word in this context. I guess the single malt scotch really did get to me!

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. And, we all need editors -- at least, that's what my editor claims! :D