forever ever after

silence is the answer

hope is the key

forever ever after

a broken heart i will be

forgotten promises

hope felt lies

i can answer truthfully

this hole is me

forever ever after

i thought i'd be alone

forever ever after

never thought i'd see true home

Reviews

[RachelReaper]

Beautifully dark and sad, but with a lighter dies, too, that things get better.

[marie]

things always have a way of getting better no matter how desolate life may seem, as i tell my boyfriend many times, everything is ok, and if its not it will be

[beccagarcia]

that is so true(:

[marie]

thank you:)

[beccagarcia]

Yur welcome:)

[marie]

:)

[A.j. Dru]

I have to agree with the comments before that it's lacking something. The brevity leaves me feeling like it's unfinished. Plus, a quarter of the poem (3 out of 12 lines) is just a repetition (forever ever after) of the title. I know you are capable of expanding on this idea and making it stronger. The rhyme scheme is good because it changes and returns, but I'd like to see more poetic devices within the piece. Alliteration and imagery are my favorites. I see potential, but it needs more work. Still good work though.

[marie]

there is more to it that i haven't put up yet, i plan on adding it to this soon, but i have to find the paper its written on in my little stack, hopefully i will find it soon. once i do i will be sure to send you a read request:)

[A.j. Dru]

No worries. I'll be glad to read the addition. I knew this wasn't all of it.

[marie]

how? most people just assume i cut it off.

[A.j. Dru]

It just left me with that feeling that there was more to it. It was over too soon and I knew there was more.

[marie]

ah:) ok then :) thanks

[Elena Covaci]

It'snice but I feel it lacks something,perhaps more lenght? I felt like it was over too quickly

[marie]

yeah.. i know i'm planning on adding more...technically i already have, just too lazy to look through my stack and actually find it...

[Tarry Franck]

I think you did a great job :)

[marie]

thank you:)

[Ashley G.]

You have definitely written better poems but this one is still okay.

[marie]

yeah heh heh i know its not the best, but hey at least i can improve it anyway its not done yet:)

[Ashley G.]

Not done yet?

[marie]

nope wrote some more at home last night gonna put it up soon, but it kind of changes the whole meaning of it, without changing those stanzas

[Ashley G.]

Oh. Okay.

[marie]

:)

[Ethale Captor]

I read this piece before you uploaded it, and I can honestly say, I am glad you put it online.

[marie]

really? i thought it was mediocre at best, but if you say so...

[Ethale Captor]

It is excellent.

[marie]

thanks:) i was considering adding more to it but really...um yeah..

[Ethale Captor]

You should.

[marie]

uhm.....you won't like it...

[StayAnchored]

Great job! I like how short it is yet full of hope.

[marie]

thank you :)

[Nick.B]

love the lines forever "ever after/ a broken heart i will be" this is a dark piece that shows loneliness and how a person embraced that loneliness (or at least that's what my mind was thinking when i have finished reading this piece)...anyway great job only one thing...I think there is a misspelling in the first line "silence is the answer"
(hope you wont get mad:D)

[marie]

thanks i'm glad you like it:) and no i'm not mad you have probably saved me alot of embarrassment so thank you:)

[Nick.B]

No problem :D

[marie]

:)