Kyrstilonn, Land of Enchantment

A fantasy story about a brother and a sister living in the bloody world war II era.

 

Kyrstilonn, Land of Enchantment

 

 

                                

                                   Once, along time ago in the bloody era of World War II in Sassnitz, Germany, there lived a wealthy family named Blauvelt. The fathers name was Jonas a strict and firm taskmaster. Lena, was the name of the dark-haired graceful and gentle mother. They were blessed with a set of blond, curly haired twins, a boy and a girl…named Lara and Lukas. They were a very well to do family that prospered wonderfully because the father was a fortunate favorite of Hitler. (Being his personal advisor) So they lived in the most elegant and beautiful house in Germany. They never lacked anything and were showered with generosities from Hitler. But as you might know from your history books. That Hitler’s favor was fickle and shallow …also dangerous. So, as you might have guessed… one night Jonas Blauvelt mysteriously vanished!

                      

                      The only evidence of the incident was foot prints of the Gestapo’s military boots and a bit of blood by the doorway. After a month Lena finally made a resolution that she would go and search for her dear husband and find the answer to that horrifying night episode. She, after the urgent pleadings of her children….permitted them to accompany her to the German headquarters. She crept silently down the dark foreboding halls…with terror filling her heart for her husband, she was confronted by a cruel and hard looking group of Gestapo’s!!! Stammering, she tried to explain to them the purpose of her entry without permission into the German headquarters. But they gave her no chance to explain. “Jewish spy”!!! they yelled in German, (because of her dark features she didn’t look German) as they grabbed her arms and wrenched them behind her back, and started dragging her to the dreaded room where they shot criminals…as she looked back at her children, with a look of anguish on her face…she said in Latin (for they had studied Latin as a second language) “My darlings! Never forget how much your father and I loved you! Run! Now! While you have the chance”! Lara screamed with horror as she saw her mother dragged away to a cruel death. She tried to run after the soldiers but Lukas stopped her and said, “We must sneak after her and see if there is any chance of rescuing her….since we have no home anymore. Also, we are pretty safe because we are only children, and we are obviously German. Come along sister…let’s go after them! They followed the soldiers until they came to a evil looking metallic room….where they saw the Germans tie their mother up. Aim their guns. And shot. Lara would have screamed again but Lukas’ hand was holding her back…. “Lets get out of here!” He moaned…shaking with grief and despair. So they took to their heels and ran quietly all the way out, luckily they did not encounter any soldiers on the way. As they left the building they were pummeled by heavy hail and cold rain.

 

                As they went seeking shelter… they kept running until they were at the sea shore facing the Baltic Sea. They spotted a dry looking hole in the sand that they gratefully accepted as a hiding place from the storm. They look around their little hole and saw that it really was a large tunnel! Eager to explore the tunnel, the children crawled and crawled until they realized that they were crawling toward the sea! Lara wanted to go back to the entrance right away…but Lukas grabbed her wrist and said to her “Oh for goodness sakes! Stop being such a chicken!” “I’m not being a chicken!” she retorted. “I’m being sensible!” But he kept going, paying no heed to her…so she had to follow. After a while he stopped because right before them a filmy wall of silver seaweed blocked their path! Lukas touched it and felt a sort of tingling, “Whadya think it is?” he asked Lara. “Oh I don’t know…but I certainly don’t trust it!” she exclaimed. “But it is pretty…can you imagine what it would look like as a dress on me Lukas?” she said, giggling. “Oh bother! That’s just like a dumb girl! To always think about dresses and stupid stuff…golly!” he snapped. “Do be quiet!” I want to explore past it!” “Very well!” she said. “I suppose I want to explore it as well…” she admitted. “Well come on then Lara! He exclaimed. “Lets be off!” So they brushed past the shimmering wall…and as soon as they had passed…they had the queerest feeling they had ever felt! Like someone pouring hot water through their body! “Lara! Get of my legs! I can’t separate them!” Lukas yelled. “I’m not on your legs! And I cant separate my legs either!” she yelled back.

 

                             Then suddenly they felt with delight warm rays of sun filtering down on them …as they suddenly realized they were wet! They were in the Baltic Sea! But the most extraordinary thing was…they could breathe! They could see because they were out of the tunnel. As they looked down at their immovable legs and saw that they no longer had legs! Lara had a glorious light rose colored shimmery tale! She had also a light stretchy seeweedyish top. that was silver colored. Her hair was changed to sparkling light aqua color! And her skin was white as the sand. Lukas had a magnificent dark green tale, that he swished powerfully in the water.. and he had his same beautiful golden curls…though they were more rich and full. And his skin was white as the smooth sand as well. 

 “ This is a wonderful thing.” Lara stated carefully. “Maybe we could stay” she said. “Watch how fast I can swim!” Lukas laughed. “I guarantee you can’t do better!” “No! we need to find the people that live down here and see if we have permission to stay! Because probably we’re not the only ones down here!” Lara reminded him.   So they swam off with strong flicks of their tales and swam along the sea floor until they came upon a gleaming castle of crystal seaweed! They swam in and saw a magnificent crowd of people in a beautiful ruby hall with a pearl walkway, just like them with tales… and colorful hair. The people turned and said with love in their voices “Welcome sister and brother, to Krystilonn!”

 “May we stay?” Lara asked. Scarcely believing her ears. “This is your home since you have none.” They said. “ But how did you know we had none?” Lukas questioned. The magnificent king of those great people rose up from his golden throne and with a gentle and loving voice, and tears in his eyes said ; “Dear children. We know all that you have been through.”        “Welcome home!” 

 So thus concludes the Story of Blauvelt siblings…but I can tell you that they lived there in Krystilonn for the rest of their lives….Lara married a charming prince named Cariis and had lovely children. And Lukas married a lovely maiden named Kiriaen. And they were blessed with a beautiful pair of twins….a boy and a girl…

 

                                     Finis

Author's Note

ignore grammar errors...hhaha uhhh how do u like the plot?

Reviews

[AeroChic]

Thanks, yes i know it was rushed. The reason i rushed it was because it was due for an online class. Yeah, i totally felt stupid after i read it how "fairy talish" it is...lol i guess im just not big on dark writing so i wuz tryin 2 make sumthing taht wuznt dark, but was interesting and somewhat....hha original.

Thanks for the review!
-Laurel

[Scott Free]

Interesting story! At first I thought it would be too much like C.S. Lewis' (with the children going into another land and all, you know ;) but it was quite different after a while.
I'd like to see the beginning fleshed out a lot more. It seems rushed, too quick. Describe the father and the mother and give us some pictures of evenings with the family home together.
Also, you want to beware of two beginnings in writing;
--the 'dark and stormy night' beginning (not that you have it right now, but watch out for it). Even if you use synonyms or don't even start out with that, it's just really cliched to start with a dark and stormy night.
--the 'once upon a time' beginning, and this you did use, basically. Even though you didn't use those exact words, it gave the reader that same feel. You need something else to start off the story.
However, I liked the plot, it was well done. The only problem I had was that it was rushed.
Write on!

~Scott

[Gregory Hill]

Hmm one grammar porblem I have to say, sorry. You should have a line break after each quote. The story was intresting, maybe add a little more suprise after the find out they are mer-people. It ended a bit abruptly, if you added one more scene it could fix that though. Good story, I liked it, keep writing.