Believe In Me

a song based on a true event ill appreciate comments! and ill comment back on one of your pieces :)

 

 

 

BELIEVE IN ME

 

 

 

I'm slowly loosing myself
Trying to compete with

Her insecure words.
I don't know when to stop.
I've been running in this never ending circle.
I want to be better in her eyes.
When she turns cold

It breaks through my soul.

 

 

I don’t want to be ashamed

I want to wake up knowing

Every things okay.

She doesn’t know that everyone is perfect

With their unusual ways.

I know it’s a difficult task

But there’s one thing I’d like to ask:

Will you believe in me?

 

 

What you and I see are two different people.

When you look at me it doesn’t fully show

That lying right inside me comes beauty and a dream.
It’s amazing what you can find

Going behind a smile tied together.

 

 

I don’t want to be ashamed

I want to wake up knowing

Every things okay.

She doesn’t know that everyone is perfect

With their unusual ways.

I know it’s a difficult task

But there’s one thing I’d like to ask:

Will you believe in me?

 

 

I may be weak

But I’m never gonna break

Her expectations are low for me.

My conscious mind can’t take it.

Not anymore, no I won’t take it.

 

 

I’m not gonna be ashamed

I’m gonna wake up knowing

Every things okay.

She’ll probably never realize everyone is perfect

In their unusual way.

But it’s gonna be alright weather or not you agree.

I know it’s a difficult task.

It still won’t work if I ask.

             But at least I still believe in me.

Author's Note

This is the first draft of my songg excuse and grammer mistakes!

Reviews

[M. Amphet Salt]

Great words of internal emotion. I like the message and the idea that you have to believe in yourself no matter what, even when other do not. This is a message that I preach often and I believe the last person I preached this message to was Ms. J. Black down below. On to a review.

I thought at first that the poem/song was in blank verse of 6 syllables with every third 5, but I was wrong...ha, it's song lyrics. I guess I should have read closer at that part of the prose.

I did have one coherency issue. The Line:

"That lying right inside me (comes) beauty and a dream."

lying inside you (comes) beauty? or lying inside you is beauty and a dream?

If you had said, from inside you comes beauty and a dream, then the line would have made more sense. Other than that, I liked. Thanks for sharing Ms. Star Bucks Blonde Girl.

H. Duane Sharpe

[J.Black]

Wow, I write songs as well and this was actually really well done.

[Amy Selena]

looooooove it!