Miriam

I made this s**t up.

The barometric pressure was changing, Miriam knew. This time her left knee made the forecast, aching in such as fashion as to be unable to ignore. And bad enough to incapacitate her for the most part. She often figured that even if she made it to 90, she wouldn't likely be very mobile.
But she smiled as she remembered a day full of thunderheads when she was only 11. The memory was exquisite. Sitting on a wide fine porch, and munching on the little miniature tuna sandwiches and sliced pickles, she and a friend had overheard Mrs. Avery complaining in that wavery, ever so annoying voice through the open window that was behind them.
"Oh, it's gonna rain, I can tell you that. Lordy, but my ankles are hurtin' me somethin' fierce!"
Miriam's friend mimicked the woman comically, simultaneously grimacing and writhing in awful pain. Miriam peed herself a little holding back the torrents of laughter, restrained by the environment. They were after all, at the "Ladies Meeting".
Later, as they walked home to the smell of the magnolia blossoms that she was too young to remember, but could clearly recall on this day, Miriam had commented further concerning ol' Mrs. Avery.
"I wonder why that old bag lies like that. What? does she think people are stupid? Any fool knows the weather ain't got a cotton picking thing to do with her ankles....."
Tears rolled down Miriams weathered cheeks from fiery green eyes. Half in joy, half in pain.

Reviews

[bbb]

If you made it up, it's a great go at fiction. I think it reads just as well as your non-fiction...if you hadn't said you'd made it up, I wouldn't have known. And here again, despite a superb ending, I find myself wanting to relive more of the character's memories with her; seeing how they affect where she is now in life. Then seeing her live out the rest of her life with some meaningful, or maybe meaningless, or even quirky purpose to a satisfying end. Of course these are just thoughts spawned in my neurotic mind after reading. But key point being: I find your stories leave me looking for more, and that's not a bad thing.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Great ending ,this was a smooth read that unfolded nicely. Great short story, shorts are hard to keep a hand on but you did a great job moving the story forward.

[Zeek4]

Charming vin-yet deftly creating a character in a compact package.

[Crowley]

I am liking these shorts....reads like a Cowboy Junkies song. I loved this, have to delve a little deeper into your stuff, I like it.

[Closedown]

In such short a space you made the characters come to life. Amazingly so. I felt like I was on the porch with them, complaining about my kidneys...

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

*smiles* oh tony.. the wisdom you impart here is given with such a gentle voice..

you have a feel for your characters that is so alive..

[Samuel Dickens]

Yep, I've had a hip like that ever since that dog ran in front of me and made crash by bike, twisting my leg underneath. The bigger subject here, though, is how we learn hard lessons in life.

[Desert Dreamer]

Wonderful story...and I think that if we pay attention to our bodies, all of us can tell when a big storm is on its way.

[luciddreamer]

No you didn't..hahaha...beautiful story my friend :)