Final Push

Upon a world of harsh emotions, you will be beaten eventually. What will you do?

I stand there, barely Alive.
The only light shines above me.
Concentrating on me alone
As if those around me were watching,
waiting for me to fall.

I stand there, looking down.
My mind wants to move forward,
to hide my weaknesses.
But my body does not allow it.
I cannot move....

I stand there, until my body falls
landing on my knees,
more intense pain follows.
The bruises and cuts cry deeply,
screaming for rest.
But none is given
for none is allowed.

I sit there, shaking quietly
I must keep alive
I cannot give up
Emotion shall not be shown
For the hearts of others will prey
Another shock of pain
and i fall again....

I lay there, eyes closed
Accepting my loss...
I hear their voices mocking me,
Laughing at my failure
Its too much...
But then I hear a soft voice
The one thats crying
over my failure.....

I stand up, ready again
None shall hurt from me again
I will take this pain forever
If it means one person is happy
You wont hear of it
for I shall endure the world for you.
I am making, my final push...
 

Author's Note

"you" is a very open term. Not of one in particular but a particular group.

Reviews

[Richard Held]

Bravo to you for pursuing this passion. Your work strikes me in an artistic way - meaning it certainly shrouds the reader in color and mood. This is a gift of its own.

It strikes me that a piece of writing is - in a sense - "heard" by the reader. So to a degree, we are wise to consider our choice of words based upon their artistic impact on the ear in addition to their ability to convey a message.

You have a fan in Missouri. I'm cheering for you.

Richard

[Voice11]

Great piece of descriptive writing. I really loved it!

[House of Immite]

nice... you should always stand up again and give it ur best shot... i like it...

[Wounded Heart]

Very strong piece with emotion. The words just pull at your heart strings. Very well written piece. Excellent work.

[STurner]

Grips me in the gut! I like it. I feel it. I appreciate the young warrior which is you. Shows dogged determination, drive and the greatest love... selfless sacrifice for another. Speaks of life to me when you wrote: "I hear voices mocking me/ laughing at my failure." It seems you are much stronger than the ones who are mocking you (as only small people do) in order to feel better about themselves. Peace and blessings. Keep writing!

[Melissa Rose]

Okay, you're gonna hate me for this, but grammatical errors first:
In the first stanza, the third line should read "on me" as opposed to "one me",
and then just watch for the capitalization of the letter "i" as you refer to yourself.
Now for my review. I feel that this is an issue you have dealt with a lot in your life, and I am glad to see that you have finally found a release. I am very impressed with how you have grown in your writing. I enjoy your use of symbolism, it always encourages me to see this used in poetry, poems are so bland without it.
Keep up the good work :)

[J.R Schlievert]

Hell Ya! i just want to punch someone in the face when i read this! good job!

[Andrew'sWonderland]

Very impactful!!! This really reached out to me and those last couple of lines brought a smile to my face!! To sacrifice ones own self and sanity just to make another happy... such a great standard to live by!!

[ABitBrokenPoetry]

i really like those last 2 stanzas. very strong poem. we all fall, it is only a question of do we get back up. clearly you do. i like the progression of this poem, as the poet is standing, then laying etc. good write!

[Lizanne]

To be standing alone and it seems the enemy has brought you to your knees. When you back up they push you back down with their jeering and humiliating catcalls. You know if you get back up they will once again feast upon your emotions. But above all their clamoring, one voice of reason and encouragement breaks through, saying someone actually cares that you have been brought down and not to stay there. That is all you need to provide the strength to face down your foes and the fears brought about by them. You reach way down inside yourself and push, rising up to declare you will carry on and not succumb to the ignorance of others. You find that in facing the problem, you can became the conqueror. If you stay down they keep punching, if you rise up and take that one hard punch, no matter how much it hurts, and even if it brings you to your knees, rise back up. They will then see they have a formidable opponent that is not going to give up. You are growing with each writing. I enjoy this darkly triumphant work.