Chapter 1: My Parents Make a Huge Mistake

Logan and I are left home alone for three weeks.

Tuesday, July 2

9:09 AM

Mom and Dad left for a three-week long conference today. Normally, we (“We” being me and my older brother, Logan.) would have to go along, but not this year. No. THIS time, they decided that Logan and I can stay home alone. 

Now, this would be fine, to someone who doesn’t know Logan like I do. He is insane! I love the boy and all, but he’s still a juvenile delinquent. He’s only just gotten his driver’s license back. He’s nearly 18, and I’m 13, so most people would agree that we can look after ourselves for a bit.

1:17 PM

Oh god… Zeke and Spencer just showed up. Zeke Morrison and Spencer Thropp are Logan’s best friends. They’re both just as crazy as he is. I guess they’re okay. Even listening to them sing along (badly) to the Rolling Stones is better than listening to Logan and Alice (his girlfriend) screw in his bedroom. My bedroom is right next to Logan’s. And it goes right through the wall.

Right.

Through.

The wall.

Yeah. Nice.

3:35 PM

Spencer and Zeke are still here. Please let them leave soon.

4:00 PM

They’re still here.

5:00 PM

Still here. What could they even be doing for this long? Oh, wait, don’t answer that. I think I know, especially since there’s a laptop down there.

5:02 PM

Oh god. I’ve really given myself the creeps now. I think I’ll put on some really loud music and dance it off.

5:42 PM

Still creeped out, but I also feel exhausted and happy.

6:00 PM

Huh. Zeke just came in. He said, “Logan says to get in the car. We have a surprise for you.”

This can’t be good.

9:34 PM

I stand corrected. The surprise was driving out to Jenningsburg to go to Morelli’s Italian Place, which has the best pizza in Ohio. It’s about a half hour’s drive from Rosewood, where I live. 

At least Logan hasn’t done anything too stupid yet.

Author's Note

Leave a long review, please!!

Reviews

[Akujisha]

I like the concept and the snappy delivery - it keeps it moving and humorous. I couldn't tell the protagonist was a female though. I would better help the repulsion she has to the brother's friends if we knew was female - first time I read it I thought it was a dude narrating and didn't quite get it.

[astoundinglyattractive]

I like how you write like this, such as in your other book (Un)Fortunate Me.
Its like an acount of someones life and all, times and such, and i find that challenging to write, but pleasuful to read. I definatly think the diary setting makes it so tyou connect better with the character. or that you know their secrets. Its one type of writing i love to read.
I particularly liked this chapter, and will be reading the second one after this review. YOu are a talented author and get the personalities of peopl;e in good. You're writing is notonly clever, but good and sound, which are bothe very good traits to have when writing books/novels.
i'm starting to like your work.
Happy Writing!!!
Fairy Blue

[Willow]

"No. THIS time, they decided that Logan and I can stay home alone." This doesn't fit with your choice of past tense. Switch the "can" to a "could"

This is a little... weird. I've never heard a thirteen year old girl speak this way, but I suppose you would know better than I seeing as I'm sixteen. You should use much more description, and although it is easy to understand your protagonists thoughts, I suggest heightening them a bit. I personally dislike first person as well, but there's no point changing it at this point.

Also, your format is a bit jarring, what with the bolded text and short one-word sentences. I have no opinion on the characters, because they aren't planned out enough yet. There aren't even any physical descriptions. Again, your protagonist is unbelievable and I suggest changing her thoughts a bit.