Once was a man

I am reposting this poem.....let me know what you think

Once was a man

There once was a man that stole my life

He did it without ever using a knife

That monster stole my innocence from me

Stifling who I was meant to be

****

For years it hid in the back of my mind

I was always looking but could never find

What I needed to succeed

Forget about his evil deed

****

Years it haunted my every dream

So much heart ache I wanted to scream

But all I did was hold it in

I wear my mask with my grin

****

When all of that got too much

I turned to drugs, booze and such

But it never helped my pain

All it did was fry my brain

****

Finally I sat down and started to write

I let go of the hate and all of the fight

I put the past where it needed to be

Now I can live my life and be free

 

© 2009 The High Poet

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I really liked this. It echoes the voice of so many victims of abuse and neglect; it speaks for them and advises the way not to go through personal experience. And it offers an alternative; WRITING! How wonderful that you have found this therapeutic outlet and can share your discovery with others through your work. That is beautiful my friend.

[Vaishali..^_^]

This a really beautiful write..!! I can understand that pain...and those haunted dreams...it really hurts so much..!!
I like the end ...:)
thanks for sharing.. ^_^

Vaishali..!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Kudos - great lessons learned adn great cadence in this work. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[José Humilde]

Very nice. Like I mentioned, I'm kinda weird about blows...and it really helps to get another perspective on it.


But it never helped (with?) my pain
All it did was fry my brain

This stanza just kinda didn't mesh for me. And I think I'm kinda thrown off by the fact that it is the only stanza that has the same amount of syllables in each line. (8)

In my opinion, I think adding something there would make it flow a bit better.

Either way, great write.

[A.r. Bazian]

....
amazing!
so sincere! i loved this! maybe the best i've read by you in a long while!
i loved this! and good lord its hard! i feel the rush!

*************************

[Gandré]

this last stanza was joyful and intelligent for really there is no reason to revisit places.. past doesn't exist and what we get is just misery and depressive mood. well done.

[Phibby Venable]

i thought i had already commented on this! one of the best
on a victim's viewpoint. Great writing.

[deeps]

Wow! Now this is a very powerful write.
I like this one alot. You are very talented.

[Bennett Logan]

I like how honest and open you are through this poem. The whole poem comes together nicely with a clear beginning, middle, and end. I wanted a definite conclusion, and the end of your poem provided nicely.

[Holly-Marie]

Haunting and chilling.A story about a very difficult subject told very well in the form of a poem. Although sad the last stanza gave a little hope back, which I thought was a perfect ending.

[Tina Kline]

Something like this haunts so many people and so many people are broken and can't pick up their life. People who do this to others are the real monsters.