Too much pain

 

Too much pain 

Too much pain behind my eye 

Hold it tight I want to cry 

So Ashamed for what I've done

But what I did, I thought was fun

The shame inside my bottle is full

Stop the dreams with a magic pill

Haunted by my dark thoughts

Wishing I had a bigger pot

To stuff my feelings and cover them up

Swallow it down and finish the cup

Must bring my skeletons out

****

Author's Note

I don't know if I like this one.. but I decided to post it anyway.... let me know if you like it or hate it or what ever :)

Reviews

[Emmie]

The rhyme scheme was interesting. It keeps the reader on pace with the words. This poem speaks to me. It speaks to me because I feel like everyone feels this way at some point. It's a matter of knowing that your not alone that counts. You're a splendid writer. Hope to see more of your work soon. Keep writing!
-Emmie

[poetic soul]

it made a nice read...the guilt was nicely embodied...
good job!

:) Love,
Krishna

[Constance L. Hartwell]

I love the whole concept of this poem. I wish I had read this when I was in high school. We all have our moments of deep despair. Loved the flow and the rhyme scheme. kudos.

[Dannee Rafmaninoff]

Well written - short and sweet - we all seem to think therere's a magic solution! d.r.

[Jinx's Heart]

I like it. Therapy has been so difficult and all I've been feeling lately is guilt, anger and hatred. It's a lovely poem I can relate to. Very, very nice. :)

[EmpressPoetess]

I like it, it depicts pain and regret for a bad deed done. It's depicted with emotion.

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

i think it's very nice...keep it and keep up your good writting...nice to be your friend! x0x0x0

[Lair Noir]

Nice work.
I enjoyed the couplet rhyme scheme and the quite harsh, forceful language. 'Swallow it down.' 'stuff my feelings' etc. I gives it quite an aggressive tone.
'Shame inside a bottle,' is a good line, plenty to read into. Impressive stuff, keep up the good work.