The Day I lost my best friend

This is a work in progress, I got a little to emotional to write anymore. Would like to know what you think of it so far. This happened 10 years ago now and I still am having a hard time dealing

The day I lost my best friend

After a four day binge

We both started to cringe

Sleep is what we needed most

Little did I know he was almost a ghost

****

I left his house so I could get some sleep

Unknown to me his Reaper came to reap

My friend stopped breathing in his slumber

I had no idea death had his number

****

So when I called him the next day 

His mother said I would pay

I was the one that killed her son

She said to me, what have I done

****

We got into drugs at the same time

So why am I being accused of this crime

Never had to force him to get high

Together him and I just liked to fly

****

I miss you everyday Jay

Author's Note

I have added a few new lines let me know what you think:)

Reviews

[Chris Lotus]

Ah, very good! This one actually has a bit of alarm and stun to it from the added lines. I can still see and feel similar elements as the last version, but this one presents a darker and different scenario, which actually puts an edge on the tone. Overall what im saying is that in this version, we actually gain more knowledge on how and why you feel this way. With or without the added lines its still a great piece, but of course if I had to pick one over the other it would be the newer version. This one will provide the reader with your thoughts and the cause.

[Tina Kline]

A very tragic experience to have to live through.

[S.W.]

Powerful and can feel your loss.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Heartbreaking story of loss. Very sad.

[Aimee Mahathy]

Oh wow, I can't wait to see how this turns out when you're strong enough to finish~
That has to be so hard. *hugs*
I know that I've got a friend... well, ex-friend now, long story, but she had a heart attack at work because of her bulimia and the diet pills... and I always blame myself for her disease because she was fine before she met me. And here she is and she's almost died like twice in front of me. Like we had to literally force her to breathe and wake up and all that craziness.
It's amazing what you don't realize what's happening when you're living like that. Stuff like that happens and it's the worst shock in the world. Always "Why them? Why not me?" I mean, I've had my problems longer than she has and I haven't almost died by natural causes!
This is a great look inside human nature though~ Especially in the second to last stanza.
People freak out, thinking you're a bad person... but really, you're all innocent... just wanting to have some fun, at any cost. But eventually you forget there's a cost at all. :/
The only thing I see is, in the last line of the second stanza, "know" should be "no"- but don't worry about it, no big deal~ Emotional writing is some heavy stuff.
I hope that in completing this, you feel a little better~

[Sandra Dawn]

There is so much power behind each word, so much so that once I got into the poem and understood what was going on in it, I felt a stab of pain as though I had lost Jay too...I hope he rests in peace, and that you work through the pain to find peace yourself as well.

[Chris Lotus]

The first stanza seemed a bit spooky to me, primarily the final line. This is still very good, though. If its a work in progress, I cannot wait to see more!