The Cold War

In a kinder world you and I would be separated
by barbed wire atop concrete walls
with smooth raked sand
below, so trespassers stand out to the tower guards.

Wearing army helmets and flak jackets, we would issue
our news statements in plain sight of
the war’s front lines:
no-man’s land, entire city blocks of bulldozed space.

Eventually, during a brief thaw of tensions, I might
be allowed a state visit to see
your defenses:
one tired army marching in unbroken circles.

Your people stand in queues, holding empty boxes, starving.
No children have been born in years.
Your cities burn
clothes for fuel. The river polluted with suicides.

The air is metallic and green. Your fruit ripens to dust.
In fact, I could not imagine
a more hellish place
than your interior. Still, I seem to be hidebound

and continue to rail and rally and direct my power
against your sand-filled warehouses,
your wooden tanks,
and every crumbling building of your capitol.

Reviews

[Alessander]

Talk about an extended metaphor! All's fair in love and war, and this poem fleshes out that idea in a very detailed and clever way.

The details are perhaps what draw me in. There are too many good ones to choose from, but I like that they can stand both for the literal and figurative. Empty boxes, queues, dust, barbed wire, concrete walls, wooden tanks, sand-filled warehouses - this could Berlin circa 1950s, or Beirut, but more intriguing, this could be either character's internal landscape.

I find it ironic that the very first line proclaims, "In a kinder world you and I would be seperated" than swiftly lists a where-house of militarism and war, as if that world would be a kinder alternative to the what sort of relationship they have now.

The ending I adore

and continue to rail and rally and direct my power
against your sand-filled warehouses,
your wooden tanks,
and every crumbling building of your capital.

It's like the character is forming all these defenses and counterattacks to defeat the most powerful enemy of all: love.

[lostboy]

sometimes the fight isint worth it.but we hate to give up.good work.

[Emily B]

to steal Kortas' phrase, top-shelf work, truly

[W.k.kortas]

Alessander's review is perceptive and extensive, so I won't attempt to re-cover ground well covered. One thing I would add is how effective the tone of the piece is; there is anger, but it is muted and blanketed in resignation, which strikes just the right notes here. It is some very fine writing.