You Can't Hide - Part 1

     It was a regular Monday morning in history class. The sun outside was shining brighter than usual for February. The windows in our small classroom were open, allowing for the cool spring air to brush our faces. We each breathed it in and exhaled listening to the birds chirping away as if spring had come early. All of us were glad Alaina had taken the time to open the windows. I looked up to see our history teacher Mr.Banes scribbling away on the white board. As the expo marker squeaked under the pressure, I was able to make out that we would be learning about the Middle Ages today. As he turned around he smiled brightly at each of us. 

     Mr.Banes was fairly young, his appearance suggested he should belong in the marines or something. However I guess he decided being a high school history teacher was much more ‘exciting’. As he walked toward the front of the classroom I noticed him to be wearing a light blue polo and ironed khaki pants. His suede shoes peeked out from the bottom of his short figure.

     “Alrighty class, today we are going to start our studies on the Middle Ages.” Mr.Banes said excitedly. I mean it wasn’t like ‘WOW THAT IS SOO COOL!’, but hey I prefer that over learning about Romulus and Remus being raised by a wolf.

     “This is also often times referred to as the Medieval Ages.” he said acomplishingly. He then looked at us with expectant faces as if we should be writing this down. However he was terribly disappointed to see Jace was the only one copying anything from the board. 

     If you ask me Mr.Banes was fairly new to teaching, he really didn’t know how to ‘teach’ persay, but he knew how to make class fun, sometimes. It always surprised me though, at how awkward he looked in front of a class. He told us fervently he had taught at other schools but something told me he had never taught ‘kids’ before.

     “Now there were three different classes in the middle ages, each of which...”, Mr.Banes said boringly. While examining our classroom the only thing that you would find peculiar, is the fact that our class has only six people. Just enough to fill one row of desks going sideways. I’ve never quite understood how we ended up with such a small class but it was kind of a relief to be able to relax and toss your feet up on the chairs in front of you.

     Waving his ‘hitler hands’ Mr.Banes continued to say, “The Roman Catholic Church was the dominant religion during this time period...”. Turning his back he pressed and squeaked with the expo marker, writing all his words in all caps. Then turning around he began babbling on about Catholicism when his attention was drawn to the window sill. He focused for a minute and then dismissed the thought and continued talking. Looking sideways I noticed Jenny giggling histarically at something Grant said. They laughed together, their faces as red as the expo on the white board. Alaina sat quietly to herself as usual, writing an occasional note however 90% of the page was full of flower drawings. Their leaves curled around each open space, cuddling into the corners and sprouting when they reached certain points. 

     Jace to my left was fervently scribbling down notes as if they were gold being handed to him in word form. He didn’t look like your typical nerd, in fact he looked like one of those guys you’d say was the popular kid. However, he’d always been braniac. He frequently denied being a geek but I swear, I think that kid spends his Saturdays watching the history channel. 

     Lastly Anna sat on the end, twirling her curly brown hair around her finger. Occasionally she’d steal a glance at Jace but he was too busy taking notes to notice.

     “Now there are five main areas of Catholic power that you need to memorize for the test next week...” Mr.Banes continued to rave over Antioch, Alexandria and Rome, while I sat and stared at the strange looking coffee cup on his desk. It almost looked like it was attached like a lever, what if I pulled it...

     BANG! The gun shot echoed through the classroom like a fire alarm. I looked left to see Jace clutching his left shoulder. Blood trickled on the floor as we stared in shock. Realizing what just happened I opened my mouth as if to let out a loud high pitched scream before Mr.Banes clapped his hand over my mouth.

     “Get behind the desk!NOW!” He said in a loud whisper. We all ran cautiously behind his surprisingly large desk. Jace was still clutching his arm as Jenny threw up in the trash can. As we sat, Grant and Anna went to work trying to bandage Jace’s arm while Jenny called 911. In the chaos of it all I peeked behind the desk to see Mr.Banes kneeling at the window, his eyes just peeking above the window sill. 

     “Oh god, they found me."

Author's Note

this is a story/book I’m going to start, some advice would be great

Reviews

[disheveledApathy]

Whoa. All I can say is.. You better write a sequel.
Actually I can say a bit more. Kind of slow in the beginning, but that's expected, you have to introduce the characters. But from the gunshot, I was hooked. I actually went back and read the text to see if you wrote in any clues to that happening. This is just exceptional. I hope you continue writing. ;)

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank you!

[Rhea752]

I need more!!!!!!! I shall read the next part, but before I do that, What are hitler hands? I feel so stupid :P
This what ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! Very well done :) keep writing

[TheMadnessWithin]

Thank u! and when i said hitler hands i just meant he was waving/making gestures with his hands a lot while he was speaking(;

[Jag]

Wow! I love how you shifted gears from turtle speed to greased lightning. I look forward to reading more of your work. You write very well. You really painted an awesome picture of the classroom as well an the general feeling and vibe of the scene. I'm sorry I'm not a great reviewer as I'm new to this whole thing but I love your style.
Jag

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank u soo much!

[Dee Okolotowicz]

I really enjoyed reading this. I've gone through a lot of stories this week, and so far, your story has caught my attention more than others. There are some grammatical corrections to be made, and some formatting that will make this easier to read, but you are doing a good job "showing rather than telling," and that is a huge plus. I think the reason I enjoyed it is because of the suspense at the very end. Usually a short chapter such as yours wouldn't feel like quite enough, but the action and the mystery was set up fairly quickly, and that kept my interest. Nice job. I'll continue to read your manuscript as you post it. I will send you a friend request so I can keep up with you. Feel free to read my first chapter of a novel I have begun.

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank you!

[Amaya Sullivan]

I wonder whose perspective this is being told from. Your own or through a character's eyes.It seems you are leading up to this. It would be the next thing like the teachers calls out your name or another student. I love the description of all the characters a true American classroom setting. Loved it!

I am assuming this is high school about 10th or 11th grade, but it would be nice to know the age these of students later on in the story or mentioned in the description of the History class, "10th grade History class taught by Mr. Banes..."

This is a great story thus far. It leaves me hanging for more. It seems very realistic and to write about this topic now is very heart wrenching. I really felt as if I was in the classroom with Jace and Anna. It is a very great start to the story, and I would like to know, what happens next?

Keep writing, please! No story should be left untold.

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank you!

[KurKota]

I typically do not read stories because of the length, and frankly generally the ones I have looked at were typically pretty boring. This one, however, is rather good writng. I found myself getting drawn into it rather quickly, especially given the setting wasn't unusual. But your use of detail is good, and you bring the reader along very well, by use of this detail. And honestly, the ending of this is both a surprise, and sets it up for your continuance of this story nicely. Good job in writing this !

[TheMadnessWithin]

thank u:)

[KurKota]

you are welcome .