My Fucked-Up Friends

oh, how i love the losers.

 

The scars on your wrist

Your rapidly diminishing waistline

Those red lines pointing the finger of blame

            all over your eyes

 

They may change how the world sees you,

            but to me you are the special as ever.

 

 

No matter how many times I drag you

kicking and screaming

            (or just sulking

            really beyond caring this time)

to our guidance counselor,

your flawed beauty

is all the more perfect

because of its visibility.

 

Your pale skin

messy ponytail

jangly silver chains

bright tie-dye tee shirts

plain gray shapeless sweats

are vital parts of you.

 

Your dismissal of the world

of “pop culture”

of the pecking order

render you interesting

and so much more amazing

than the b*****s in the popular crowd.

 

 

You are a bunch of losers.

nerds.

mistakes.

hippies.

weirdos.

crackheads.

emo freaks.

f**k-ups.

 

 

But God, I love you guys.

Author's Note

no, my friends don't drink or do drugs...yet. there a few of them who i expect to start in high school. and try as i might, i probably won't be able to get them to stop.

i wrote this mainly because a bunch of my friends have been going through tough times, with their self-esteem reaching an all-time low. i'm thinking that i'm going to give them a copy of this poem to try to cheer them up a little and to show them that i do love them. so any constructive criticism is appreciated. and yes, i realize that part of this poem is me calling them losers. BUT, i don't think i'd really get through with a message of "you're not losers." they're pretty much convinced that they are. at least, one in particular is. i feel like i can get through better with "you're losers, but you're still great and i still love you."

Reviews

[perfectlymetiKulous]

This is entirely vivid and really freakin' sweet to me. Our friends may not be the best people, but they mean the world to us... just as we mean to them. I think it's perfect as is. My favorite lines:
"Those red lines pointing the finger of blame

all over your eyes
They may change how the world sees you,

but to me you are the special as ever."
and
"
your flawed beauty

is all the more perfect

because of its visibility."


I think the general idea here was to say how you see the perfection in all the flaws of your friends, am I right? I think as friends and writers, we're more apt to seeing the perfect imperfections in those we love the most. I thought this was a brilliant write.

[Kevin Vorshak]

I can always count on you to be honest with yourself and your views, Kazoo. That's for sure. Some of the portrayals of your friends actually sound a bit like some of my daughter's friends. They have a dislike of what she refers to as 'preps' but her core friends, as screwed up as she portrays them at times, are very important to her. A stark and honest piece of work. Well done.

[Nyida Strong]

Usually this sort of structure irritates me, but I loved this piece! It was a beautifully pathetic ode to those we attach to and love. Everyone in the majority of the world want to have the popular friends, but give me the freaks and weirdos any day!

N. Strong

[Jean]

At first, it seems like you're saying you don't that those things are happening to them. So that confused me, though I'm sure they will know what you, you might want to think about changing that wording a bit to make it clearer?
You have "make you interesting" but you already said "make you who you are". Maybe change the second one's wording so that the "make you" part isn't so repetitive. Because "make" is kind of a hard word because of the 'k' sound, and in repetition it makes it sound bad.
Add some more punctuation to have it be more grammatically correct, and tadah! :)
I like it though. It ends well and the structure is pretty unique.
Good luck in revising it! (: