Pull Me Up

I'm always hanging over the edge. Clinging onto you.

Stop, my love.

I need you to stop.

Before I grow

to love this thrill.

I'm always left hanging

over the edge.

Below me, a thousand feet drop.

And you've come to save me again.

I smile at your smile

and quiver as you harden.

You hold me so tight.

Pull me up now dear, pull me up!

But you never do.

It's fun to watch me struggle and flail

whimpering as I'm helpless to your

whims.

I know you'll always come for me

before the end

at least.

You love me dear, I know it well.

And you know my limit well as well.

In midair is where I am

when I'm with you.

Dangling over a dark place

I try not to think about.

Doesn't take much to make a wrong step.

Nothing left but to cling onto you.

As long as you hold me

I'll need your saving.

When you leave, so do the feathers of hope.

But my wings stopped working long ago anyways.

When I'm with you

the big drop will always be there when I glance down to look.

Below my feet, I will always fall.

Don't let me fall.

So why look down?

Only in your eyes, your eyes

they not only catch but capture me too.

Won't you take me with you?

Pull me up, pull me up.

All the way, my love.

Don't let me go, but let me go.

Let me go,

just let me go.

Author's Note

Hello there! I would love any feedback

Reviews

[Vian]

"And you know my limit well as well," as I was reading I stumbled over that line. I like the idea of their repetition "I know it well" and the well that should come at the end of the line after but the "well as well," rolled awkwardly off of my tongue and fell flat.

On the other hand, you know I love the poem. I love the submissiveness of the MC; the kindness and the gentle demeanor all stand well. I love that it is 'dear' and 'love' all the way through "All the way, my love" she says near the end before she cannot keep going. It was deeply moving, Sheri.

I wonder what spurred such a young soul as yours to write in this deep longing manner, all cantabile and espressivo? This is unlike you.

Vian

[Avery]

I really like the well as well part actually. Its like, he may love her but he also knows to push her to the limit of her breaking point.
I'm glad you like it! Why, you know I've always longed for deep connections with people, be it romantic or not. And besides, the only boy I've ever actually liked, turned out quite disappointing. I was quite attached.

[Vian]

If you like it then you have no reason to change it. As an outsider it simply does not have the same warm silky feeling to it. It is unfortunate that Sheri-Chan can only write with a voice when writing real life though most oft refuses to do so. I've said it too often, your life is a shoujo manga. You need to translate the kind of emotions that I was experiencing from this piece into some of your colder works. I am excited to read some more emotional you, its delicious.

[Avery]

if my writing makes the reader feel like an outsider, i have much to work on. I want readers to be completely one with the characters :)
Oh it hurts too much to write about real life hurting stuff. So I prefer not to. Although in normal stories, I try so hard not to write in first person with "I" as I always feel like I AM the main character.
And by the way, shoujo mangas are kind of cruddy..

[Avery]

A wonderful piece of expressing love, hurt, and ending a relationship in all ways, the metaphor you used with the cliff is great.. sometimes love is to die, for, but to come back, and realize there is more after... and to be strong... nice work my friend. And very raw and honest. I like.

- Elisa

[Avery]

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts :) So glad you like it!
And that the emotions came out right

You're welcome dear one... always a pleasure to come by when I have the time :) *smiles*

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

The need to be saved, to be pulled...to let one stand. Everyone wants that.

Full of emotion, Sheri. There is doubt in this line: "Don't let me go, but let me go."
But in the end, you give up from longing...

[Avery]

Thanks so much for the reading and leaving a review :)

[SAYED THANGAL]

Really it's so sad to read, the emotion of the poet, the longing for love, uncertainty about the lover are well narrated in the poem, well done.
sayed thangal

[Avery]

You interpreted this poem really well! I feel like you've really seen through her. Those are certainly some of the aspects I had been going for in this piece.
Thank you for reading and reviewing :)

[jane7z]

Love the imagery and sensuality in the poem.

[Avery]

Thank you for reading, I'm glad you liked it

[Sami Khalil]

The thrill and chill of it all, all expressed wonderfully...Bravo

[Avery]

Thanks! ^^

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................

[Inda]

This is a nice piece, but it's feels kind of all over the place, i get that you're trying to show that there's a contradiction and that it's not always clear to us what we want. Still, i think it jumps too quickly from don't let me fall, to, it's fun to watch me wail; i think that transition was a bit a quick, but other than that this is great stuff!

[Avery]

Thanks! Haha my poem voice needs more work, I was trying to get across that he always leaves her hanging there and likes to watch her struggle but she can't do without him. It does need better development. Thanks a lot for the feedback!

[Inda]

No prob! :)