No Games Are Played

Am I wasting my time
Thinking about you and I
And this feeling I've got inside

What is it about you
That makes me feel this way
When I close my eyes
The things I dream
Come to life

Kissing and hugging
Loving everything you do to me
I've never had a feeling so right

I can't get enough
This feeling hanging on so tough
Never ending from the moment we touched

I knew everlasting love
Will keep going strong
Don't get me wrong
My feelings are tough

But it's been so long
And you got me buggin
Anticipating your lovin

Waiting to be amazed and dazed
Trippin up on your ways
No games are played

Reviews

[H. A. M.]

It seemed like you could have went on forever with this one. I like it because it's honest emotion. I did move one line to another section (I�ve never had a feeling so right)
and broke it up for my convience. I hope you don't mind.

Am I wasting my time
Thinking about you and I
And this feeling I�ve got inside

What is it about you
That makes me feel this way
When I close my eyes
The things I dream
Come to life

Kissing and hugging
Loving everything you do to me
I�ve never had a feeling so right

I can�t get enough
This feeling hanging on so tough
Never ending from the moment we touched

I knew everlasting love
Will keep going strong
Don�t get me wrong
My feelings are tough

But it�s been so long
And you got me buggin
Anticipating your lovin

Waiting to be amazed and dazed
Trippin up on your ways
No games are played

This seemed like it could go on for a long time if you wanted it to. It shows the person really wanting to see that special someone. Like under a spell. It's cool. Punctuation is optional but not a requirement. They do add an added emphasis to what you want to say though. Nice work.

[poddar kushal]

the thing we think as a waste has something of value in them... this is a nice and emoyional poem.

[Thug Life]

well it seems like err body said err thang iwanted to lol.. u def put ur heart into it so how could anybody not like it. its full of honest emotion, and as ur 1 reviewer said, u coulda went on 4eva wit this.. good write

[T. R. Writer]

Very nice. I agree with everyone else. I feel a lot of heart and soul and this one and like it could go on forever. I look forward to reading more of your poetry. Good work!

[Craig Bates]

My first thought on this was that you would be very good at writing poetry with lots of internal rhyme without having to place it at the end of lines. By including the rhyme within the lines I think you could improve the flow - as it is, you pause at the end of the lines when it might be more powerful if you did not. It also makes the writing a little less predictable (maybe you already do it but this is the first piece I've read so forgive me for that)

There's obviously a lot of emotion here which is good - emotionless poetry can feel dead to me. However I do think the repetition of 'tough' within the space of a few lines was a bit much. Yeah, you're emphasising but I think if you found another way to say it here it would be more effective.

"But it's been so long
And you got me buggin
Anticipating your lovin"

^^ seemed slightly out of place compared to the tone of the rest of the poem. It may just be me but I didn't really think it fit. I do like the twist of pace here though, switching to the 'buggin/lovin' rhyme. It's unexpected and rolls nicely as you read it so its a question of sense vs sound.

Overall I liked it but there wasn't anything that struck me or particularly stood out from anything else.

[Xeru]

Yeah I agree with Ham, you put alot of soul into your writings...When i read your stuff i never feel misled...Or like u are telling a distant story...And that is a gift...Some people dont have it in them...You breath life into your lines...You freeze moments in put them in captivity...You are a very gifted writer T...Your poems are very touchable