Insomniactic Ticks

 

My mind won’t let me sleep while my heart throws fits…

Sick, as time keep stepping in, another hour down the drain.

 Surrounded by the pain, I live in, can’t explain…

Dreams long dead, love unfed,

Now! Malnourished, I sit paranoid.

Anxiously beaconing sleep to give my soul rest,

From neglect of a thousand whispers that live and die,

with me never seeing touch manifest, beyond lustful needs,

and the greed that sucks life from soul.

I watch the world unfold, and internally we self destruct.

Maybe I speak for me, not us.

But damn, what tarnished residue covers my soul.

 I pray to God for it to let me go…

And my mind won’t let me sleep while my heart throws fits…

Discontented, I resented my loves, then relented broken.

Because trust left me empty, and they don’t get me

While I sob, no longer willing to hide the mess I am in,

The stressing again, the depression that wins, more that I want it to.

Shackles get broken and then there are chains.

One pain conquered leads to another yet discovered…

And dirt and truth live simultaneously in me.

Joy crying out to be heard over the sorrow,

And still somewhere in between insanity and sane,

I believe in love and life.

Still in the Good Fight and tired of feeling tired…

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I've read this three times now and it is unrelenting, all too clear how things are. You capture the mood clearly and do not spare yourself. I hope that writing about this slough helps you to wade through it. From a writing point of view 'What tarnished residue covers my soul' is a good line, as makes it sound like a sort of plaque has stolen your gloss, which may be near the truth, though I am no expert. 'One pain conquered...' is another outstanding line as it defines the downward spiral.

But I read the poem in the context of your other poems and from those I am sure that your positive life force will reassert itself. We all face problems and some may never totally go, but they can be contained. I don't think you should look for ten rainbow bursts, but a tincture of purple in an easy sky is not asking too much of life...and will be yours.

[Mr. Deft Diction]

Keep believing in love and life....and the GOOD FIGHT.

It gets hard; but us strong ones don't like it any other way. Keep smiling!