she asked, but what about cheerleading?

she asked, but what about cheerleading?

how can a four word question break my heart

how can a four word question about a nothing reach inside me, past the knot in my throat and leave a vacuum deep 

she puts her head down

crystal tears gather and then are released  like soft bombs down her cheek

trailing, finding her chin and for a few seconds they hold till they can't hold on any longer

but what about cheerleading?

I've taken her life and flipped it upside down

I've snatched away dreams

I've done this to her

and she sits there, crumbling into herself

thinking she needs to be strong 

but what about cheerleading?

four words

four words

knifed into my chest

piercing past my ribs

the tip puncturing my lungs

and after a pause, slicing right through me

she's wearing that light blue jumper

her hair is just so

when did she grow up to be so beautiful

a blink and she's no longer my little girl

she's a woman 

a woman I've hurt

a woman in tears

a woman who asks

but what about cheerleading?

oh my baby girl

oh my baby girl

to give you cheerleading

to give you what you want

to give you back what I took away

to give you the world

to give you so many smiles that they cover up the hurt and pain

to give you cheerleading and wish it all away

to give you back innocence 

to give you back family

to give you back security

to give you back the world

to give you back cheerleading and wish it all away

but all I can do is place my hand on the small of your back 

my baby girl

I'm sorry

daddy took cheerleading away

and will spend the rest of his life trying to repay