All's Quiet on New Year's Day...NOT

the first meandering pseudo intellectual rant of the new year...well ok, it's not that either.

I think I slept in longer than I have in years today, after staying up last night long enough to welcome the new year with a few friends and family. What was left of the morning was spent slurping corned beef hash and oohing and ahhing at the Rose Parade floats. I then spent most of the afternoon rambling about on the bandwidth doing my "free marketing" of Bethany's Crossing. I've posted the link for the book in over a hundred different blog pages over the past few weeks. It's a tad tedious but my publisher highly recommends it and since its a Joint Venture, I'm expected to do my part.
I've thought about posting the kitschy, lofty, unattainable list of resolutions. Like so many of you I endeavor to read the whole Bible forty times, memorizing a bazillion elements of key scripture (directly from the Hebrew and Greek texts, after I learn to read Hebrew and Greek) there's the committment to fasting and prayer which will last about twenty minutes on Sunday morning before my stomach EATS my spine and my mind wanders off on a tangent. Oh and that size twelve pair of jeans in the bottom of my closet...and the green suede mini that hasn't graced my hindparts (not even ONE THIGH) since 1994...I'm gonna own that look again....by March, right? And let's top it by being nice to my family, my boss, other drivers on the road, not cursing (I'll start that one tomorrow) and totally squelching the creeping insanity hormonal changes are bringing into my life. Oh yes, I almost forgot. In my spare time, since I'm totally giving up TV, I'll finish my second book, write at least fifty poems and get 12 poems published. Yeah.
Funny thing is, when I woke up to this new year, with this new list....in my bathroom mirror was the same old double chinned, graying chick, whose heart has been skittering in her chest all day....the weariness palpable, and that gnaw in my soul - I'm tired of symptoms. I'm tired of obligations. I'm tired the struggle. All the external lists and plans and goals mean nothing if the girl inside can't get a grip. And that is the real resolution this year. I want myself back. My faith, my courage...my sense of humor....my hope...I want that all back. It's mine. and now more than ever as the world spins faster and faster....I need it.
I wish the same for you.
peace.

Author's Note

if you want to welcome me back - I like tea and chocolate chips and nachos. peace.

Reviews

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

I like this idea, T. It fits you well since your writing style in "blogging" works well with this journal approach. I would do a journal like this myself except for a few limitations. I don't journal well. My life doesn't seem that interesting at times ... work, eat, talk, TV with fam, sleep, repeat previous. And the interesting parts that do come up I can't really share b/c it would take too many words to explain. So... I really do appreciate you knack for expressive communication in shorter prose than I am able to manage. When asking my anything, my wife now asks for the "short" version of the explanation. :o

Thanks for sharing. Bearing one's soul is nearly as difficult as bearing one's soul well in prose. Kudos on you for both!

Cheers!
Doc.

[Gandré]

This was reading like a ... noble diary. I don't write one but I appreciate to read other people diaries (literature). Joint Venture? Hm, interesting. I got such an offer from UK last year, but I refused, they wanted me to pay for ebook and even pay more for ISBN number printed book and I didn't like; I think, publishing houses like to redeploy the costs at writers playing with their vanity. I thought, I don't need a book if there is anyone that would want to publish without sharing the risk; even I understand that this business is less writing business and more selling business.... I think, they have to pay writers. Well, I might change my opinion one day; I understand that in the era of computers and fast internet words became cheap, everybody is calling himself or herself writer and one spends hours with finding a really great book. By the way, did you know that the OSCAR movie "The Lecturer" written by a German writer Bernhard Schlink is about my town Heidelberg? Even this is not explicite written like "Heidelberg" but all the names of streets are from here and they speak about a house just few houses away where I live, that house doesn't exist anymore, it had to go in 70ties.. But in the movie you see to hush cars with Heidelberg plate "HD" ha ha ha. That's fun.. However, that's a fantastic book, I am reading right now. I recommend, smile. I am glad your sales are great - it makes happy, I can imagine.

[Christel Grady]

Kudos to you for even attempting resolutions. I gave up years ago. I found my size 12s last October, but have since added on that little pooch that we can never seem to rid ourselves of. Oh well. I'm learning to like myself for who and what I am, and screw 'em if they don't agree. :P

peace

[Lyndie Bolt aka JustRac..]

At least your size 12 jeans are on the bottom of your closet! Mine are still hanging around haunting me daily, rattling their hangers in torment! Ohhhh... the rattling of a size 12 is sooo scary in the middle of the night. A lot of us can really relate to this prose!

Lyn

[Joanna Maharis]

This is such a beautiful piece of prose, rich with beautiful imagery.

[J. Hampton]

A delightful vouyeristic look into the tick-rock of you..
I love blogs I myself such a random thinker could read and write them all day long
A bit of popcorn and a memory foam pillow... Needless to mention
My trusty reading glasses. I soooo enjoy you :)
I beleive we devote to much into ushering in plans commitments and promises when we should first clean out the reticent junk from '08...leaves much more room for lofty. Hopes and lucious dreams

Blessssss

[All faded blue]

You have a way of speaking to the inner struggling soul in me, and probably many others as well. You manage to take the mundane and make it laughable and bearable. Thank you for being here.

[Bubo]

Always welcoming you my friend, and of course you touch me where few do, because the last
paragraph sums it up.........how i say those words to myself alot, I want me back........not the struggles,
i want it all back too.........courage, faith, and the hope ppl will do the right thing........see whats truth.....and no more dramas!
I have so missed you.

[AK]

Yup, we all need it. Especially now. Nice write, thank you.