Serenity (Draft 1)

Serenity (Draft 1)

A Poem by tmasse
"

Stars have always been a fascination of mine.

"

Awake upon an evening of turmoil

My feet tread away from sadness.

Walking across soft turf, soil,

Alone,

Towards the darkness.

Breaking at the seam,

I stride with reason,

Away from gloom,

Past artificial gleam.

I raise my gaze

To find the sky razed

With the light from above,

A constant glow,

A sign of love.

Stars.

© 2014 tmasse


Author's Note

tmasse
Completely open to criticism this is just the first draft.

My Review

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Featured Review

I love looking at stars, too; in fact, my first poem on this site was about just that. I like your poem, and I really can't find anything that I think you should change. I'd say you don't need another draft. Eliminate "(Draft 1)" and own this poem with confidence.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

tmasse

8 Years Ago

Thank You very much, i put draft one attached to it because in school i revised it so that it would .. read more



Reviews

I love looking at stars, too; in fact, my first poem on this site was about just that. I like your poem, and I really can't find anything that I think you should change. I'd say you don't need another draft. Eliminate "(Draft 1)" and own this poem with confidence.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

tmasse

8 Years Ago

Thank You very much, i put draft one attached to it because in school i revised it so that it would .. read more
I really like this poem has great imagery, great choice of words, and flows perfectly

Thank you for sharing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

tmasse

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reading !
The Black Warrior

8 Years Ago

You are very welcome!

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2 Reviews
Added on October 22, 2014
Last Updated on October 22, 2014

Author

tmasse
tmasse

New Bedford , MA



About
I am a 17 year old single male who has never been too invested in writing, however i believe there are some things that should be written and there is no point in writing if no one can see it. I am f.. more..

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