Act 4

 “Jakir, Dinner time! Come to the table!” Mrs. Kabir called her youngest son as usual.

Jakir came back home at half past six in the evening, had a bath and ate his food- noodles as snack and a little bit of rice with vegetables, the regular snack. But after lunch Shahin did not eat anything and now it was half past nine and almost seven hours since he had his lunch. He never asked Mrs. Kabir for extra snack even if he was hungry because he thought that it would be s burden since he was not earning anything for the family. But what Shahin could not stand was the fact that Mrs. Kabir always called Jakir first even if he had his heavy snack just three hours ago.

“Damn it…..why does she call him first? She knows how hungry I am, then why does she always call him first?” sulked Shahin. That was not the only thing that displeased Shahin. He knew he was worthless but “At least call the hungrier person first!” frowned Shahin. But he didn’t move from his seat and kept on studying and waiting for his mother’s call.

After a long time, Mr. Kabir asked Shahin ”Don’t you want to eat dinner?”

“Have you called?” replied Shahin.

“If you feel like eating then come!” Mrs. Kabir plainly answered.

“What is with that? She knows who is hungrier? Why would she call Jakir first? He just had a nice meal a while ago?” Shahin thought to himself, “Heh!! It is all true!! Even a mother’s love is not impartial. The one bringing in money gets all the attention!! Well, we will see about that and hope you get this attitude back ten folds!”

Shahin went to the dining space and saw his mother was arranging Jakir’s portion of curry. He felt his temper shooting upwards. “Why did you call me if haven’t even arranged my portion?” Shahin told in a very low but very sharp and angry voice. He could not shout because his father was having dinner in the same room. He dared not raise his voice. Dejected and defeated Shahin sat on his chair only to find more despair waiting for him. He knew that he was worthless, a thirty year old burden of his family but still it was hard for him to accept the fact that Jakir got to eat chicken fillet for the past twenty two years without fail only because he did not like to eat any other part of a chicken.

“Damn it!! I get the fact that Jakir is earning now…but it has been only few months that he got his job and also if I consider his university life it will be four years…I can justify only five years of my Chicken fillet deprivation…but what about the rest of the seventeen years? Well, yeah there is also that nine years of study break. It still is twelve years. Have I not had the right to eat chicken fillet during those twelve freaking years?” Shahin kept thinking to himself. He started gulping down his food without chewing properly, few drops of tears of self-resentment fell on the corners of his spectacles. He took a silent vow…. “I will turn the table, damn it!! I will show when the time comes.”

“Consider eating less amount of rice…..look at yourself…. Getting all fat and ugly….” A very low but commanding voice came from Shahin’s mother. He was doubly shocked and infuriated. He went and took four revengeful spoonful of rice and poured four ladles of lentil soup and his plate became like a little pond. He knew it was beyond his capacity…but… “If I am dying off of obesity, I am taking that so called dignity to my grave…” thought Shahin. Still he was the first to finish his food.

“I swear Goddamit!!! I will pay you back….!!” muttered Shahin to his pitiful self.

In his room Shahin calmed down a bit….

“What the hell am I thinking? My mother gave birth to me…there is no other person who would take care of me the way my mother does!!! Oh! Almighty Creator, The Owner of this universe, The All  Merciful, please forgive me…” few more drops of tear came out of his eyes.

He thought again and again what a shameful act of cowardice he put on! His mother takes care of him- head to toe…How possibly could he pay her back? He again repented to Almighty Allah for forgiveness….