Bite me and Die...

This is just an Idea but change the titled again...

Gloria Tine

I fell in love with a boy, looked no older than nineteen. Tall, dark and dangerously good looking, he would pass as an model, the chiseled chin, brown eyes' and chocolate medium length brown hair. Warm toffee skin that shimmered under the very dim lamps lights, they barley lit the canteen I worked in. For the past eleven months, he sat at the same table by the window nearest the door. Same large fries, triple hamburger special no tomatoes and a water. Always watching, observing and wouldn't order from any other waiter but me, it was only time I spoke to him. Heard the deep chime bellow through his lips, his voice stayed with me and plagued my ears. It was then I realized I started to like this stranger. 

One bitter night, I thought he was following me and felt the urge to confront him, I sucked in very deep breath and said. 

 "Who are you?" 

Looking around, I wasn't sure whether he heard and waited, alone in the dark. I heard nothing, I knew it was stupid idea walking home alone, considering my town has a big case of mysterious disappearances in the past year. Thinking about it, since that stranger had arrived.  

A loud rustling from behind some trees, broke my thought. I froze, feeling nervous and frightened. 

 "Who are you?"

Thinking about him still. But my answer was more violent rustling, followed by a snarl. I wanted to run but my body wouldn't shift, wouldn't do what my mind was telling it.  Run for christ sake, run...

***

Something happened, it was all just a memory up to that point. Till I opened my eyes and they met with another. His eyes, I remembered those. Rich chocolate brown with a hint of the bitter darkness, they were permanently painted in my mind. 

For the first time I saw him smile, as he held me in his arms, I knew then, I fell in love with a boy.  looked no older than nineteen and he saved my life. I don't know how or who he is but I guess, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Just, him. 

Author's Note

I have writers block so at the moment so... this is just random i guess...

Reviews

[Miss Sharon]

Wowser! You simple MUST write a sequel to this. I love it! ~Sharon

[Timtim]

Very nice piece... You know how to keep the suspense going. Especially now that i have all these questions running through my mind... Like what if she was kidnapped and just blinded by love to realise it?

[Steve]

Have you ever collaborated?

[Morning Star]

WOW and WOW
Your story kept my interest, i wanting to find out
If it was a stalker or that handsome and dangerous young man
I was anxies to get to the next stanza
What a fantastic write and ending
I love the suspense within this story
We all have times when our muse takes a vacation but
Will returned strong
I absolutely love this story
Brilliant………..Yolie

[Lowesy]

hey, something to distract you from that wall everybody faces. When I get block I usually just force myself to write, and 9/10 I stick with it, once had block for about 2-3 years. I just stopped, worked on stuff in the real world first then re-discovered what I had originally written and found that I had enjoyed it and so, carried on.
This piece was a good thriller, short and full of suspence. I do recommend putting the dialogue in a separate paragraph entirely with the follow up description in a different paragraph. You also have a typo, you said 'he'd' instead of 'he', second line first paragraph.
Enjoyed it!
Mark

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

SMILE! this is a wonderful story, well written, grear plot, held my attention! I hope you'll add on to it!

[KAREN]

It is really good, hope you keep on with this! I want more!!!

[Marianne]

This is really good Stef, I would love to read more once your writers block clears. I hate getting writers block, sucks bigtime. This had great suspense, and your description of the teen boy was perfect...he sounds hot.
Good stuff, post me if you add more
cheers

[Misty Blue Eyes]

wow i so want more to this story..... PLEASE lol