One Day

One day, Time will be over -- Sofie Salvador

 

 

<a href="http://s185.photobucket.com/albums/x318/mtos_23/?action=view&current=sun.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x318/mtos_23/sun.jpg" border="0" alt="Sun"></a>

 

One day, I saw a dazzling light Shining down on me

It was astonishing but I can’t remember exactly what it looks like

The next thing I knew, I am seeing color of flesh

A color of flesh that I will never forget until the final day of my life;

Because those are the colors of the one who loves me most

on my first day on earth…

My Parents.

 

One day, I saw little things with charming colors;

It was amusing and makes my time fly…

My toys.

 

One day I saw a bright smile and someone asked my name;

We exchanged laughter and shared colorful fantasies…

She became a friend.

My Friend.

 

One day, I saw a beautiful colored board

Where I learned how to use all the letters that I am using right now;

It was my first day at School.

 

 

One day, I saw the town painted in Red;

It was full of hearts and the feeling is great

Where all I can see is exquisiteness in world that surrounds me;

I am in love.

 

And then

 

One day, I reflected 23 years of my life…

I have not yet seen all the colors and patiently waiting for what colors

Of life awaits me.

 

But I am afraid that…

 

One day, I will see nothing but life has fade away

And colors are no longer there…

 

 

Author's Note

considering revisions.

Reviews

[Zelligg]

I enjoy this piece the way it is, probably because I like to write this way: the drum beat of "One day," the brief phrases between "verses," enriches the words with the rhythm and the experience, universalized.

I'm still grumpy because 60 pieces of mine were lost by those who run this site; I'm still in mourning. I haven't written anything except reviews since. I saw your "friend request" on my board...perhaps a mistake...I don't know what you might have read of mine, but I resonated to your poem and enjoy writing about it to you. Since I am rarely around, I might not be the greatest friend, but I haven't let go either.

Another part of me wants to respond to your content; your seeming dread of aging and loss of colors of life. I have much more time on this planet and I want to tell you that, tho' I felt that dread at your years, it hasn't materialized! Time has brought my subtle talents together, my courage to try doing things I've never even considered, to feel that love when the piece is ....is....DONE! No one but me can know that.
The colors are intensely varying, like a kaleidoscope, and the biggest change I've experienced is that this view, these awarenesses, this self, is so complex and internalized that, while I can DO much more and have satisfaction, it is not social, impossible to discuss with peers because they have their kaleidoscopes too and enjoy their own minds and insights and revelations and all this becomes rather impossible to communicate because it's too intimate or non-verbal.
But here, now, to you I am able to share some of my evolving experience and I've always been drawn to writing and I am drawn to interweave your experience with mine in the hoped-for, imagined, possibilities of blending energy with another human being.

[Pax Analog]

Evidence suggests that every door closing is another door opening.

That goes for colors too, they being interdimensional and not dependent on five senses.

All by way of affirming a continuum. . .life moves through forms.

It is astonishing the bonds formed, yet lost, during this brief earthly sojourn. Your poem encourages one to ponder the bright beauty of our human mystery together.

[Lind]

This piece brought tears to my eyes. I am at that place in my life where I'm having a hard time seeing the colors and it touched me to remember the time when they were all so bright. I'm hoping that writing will help bring them back. I know reading stories like this one helps remind me that they even exist! Wonderful work!

[bailish]

You share a piece of yourself in your writing. Thanx for letting me be a part of it.

[Orlando Murcia]

The color of flesh, so simple yet so profound, I love what you wrote sweetheart

[Sofie and the City]

Thank you so much.... =)

[JohnL]

Sophie, I would not consider revisions to this . It is life as you saw it at a certain moment, including your impressions of certain days in the past, certain times in your life. I have just reviewed Tray Tray's poem about painting by the impressionists - it was instant - done in one attempt, always fresh, and while there are pictures and poems that need looking at and altering, this is not one of them. It stands on its instant merit. Treasure it. It is important to you. This is an emotional instant, not a technical one. 'Right' is what it is NOW.