Not So Fab Pt. 1

Not So Fab Pt. 1

A Chapter by V. Germanotta

Dani describes her life as of so far. Bear in mind that it's not exactly happy-go-lucky



Institute of Higher Learning

Creating Young Men and Women to Serve a Higher Purpose

Schedule for semester 1, grade 10

Danica A. Parker

7:00 Announcements

7:10 Chemistry- Mr. Croswell

7:35 AP NSL- Mme. DuPont

8:00 Study Hall- Mr. Rodriguez

8:25 Honors English- Mrs. Klatz

8:50 Specialty 1- Rotational- Performing Arts- Mrs. Cleary

           Internship Prep- Mr. Pormacado

9:15 Chorus- Mrs. Curtsail

9:40 Technology Education- Mr. Fitzhugh

10:05 Mathematic Review- Mrs. Marks

10:30 Specialty 2- Rotational- Meetings- Mrs. Paul

           Musical Composition- Mrs. Ramos

           Advisory- Mr. Fonze

10:55 Aerobics & Fitness- Mr. Hertz-Moore

11:20 Cooking 101- Mrs. O’Connor/ Mrs. Kay

11:45 Lunch

12:45 Free Period

1:10 Jr. Entrepreneurs (Double Period) - Mrs. Federal

1:55 Dismissed

Gallagher Institute

Uniform Requirements


            Ordinary School Day:

          Jumper dress with white button down underneath and stockings or tights

          Blazer over sweater vest over white button down shirt paired with the pleated uniform skirt over tights or stockings or calf length socks

          Khaki/denim ankle-length pants with white button down shirt under blazer


          Shoes must be in the school colors of navy, red, silver/grey, black, or white or you may wear brown/gold shoes.  Refrain from brightly colored shoes, please.

          High heels must not surpass 2 ½ in. in length

Gym Uniform:

          Designated school gym shirt

          Grey, black, or navy school sweat pants

          White, black, or grey socks, preferably calf length

          White or black tennis shoes

All Accessories are approved unless it has profanity or hateful meanings. Expect to be subject to dress inspection at least once a day


            Ordinary School Day:

          Navy dress pants with white button down shirt under navy or red sweater vest and tie

          Navy dress pants with white button down shirt and navy blazer and tie

          Khaki trousers with sweater vest or blazer and white button down shirt and tie


          Black dress shoes

Gym Uniform:

          Designated school gym shirt

          Black, navy, or grey sweat pants

          White, black, or grey socks, preferably calf length

          Black or white tennis shoes.

All skirts must hit at least one inch above the knee. All clothes must be properly washed. You must wear at least one of your school emblem patches each day. Tuesday and Thursday are casual days and you may wear jeans on these days. Jeans may not have any holes bigger than the size of a quarter.

8/30    10:00 PM       My Room

Tomorrow is the first day back to school. Yippee! Because I’m so damn excited, you know? So yeah, if you’re getting the vibe that I’m not happy, I’m not. My mom says that I’ve grown attitudinal. I admit, I as more “yay go me!” before, but that was last year. Before I became a teenager. Before that bullying b*tch Cassandra Lipe entered my life in a whirlwind of straight, blonde hair and watery, grey eyes. I swear that girl could freeze hell over. No worries, we’ll see when she dies. Or someone kills her. But I’m so much happier than the last few weeks of school because I haven’t had to put up with her for the whole summer. I’ve been away in Russia, Tahiti, France, Switzerland, Liberia, India, and Iran and Bora-Bora. A lot of it was visiting family and stuff, but some was vacation.


I guess my mom is right to force me to write in a diary. She wants me to get out all of my “bad feelings and only have room in that big heart for good ones”. Well, mommy… I love you. So I’ll do it. And I mean, how many bad feelings can one person. Maybe she sensed that school was putting me in a bad mood. Or that I’m a teenager with hormones. Of course it’s hard writing all the time. SO I guess I’ll log everything onto my laptop as soon as I get to it. Or I’ll just go directly to the laptop, if I can.


Okay, so where do I start? I’m Danica-Aurum Dorothy-Aurora Hart-Singer Johnson-Parker. My mom is Jada Hart-Singer and my dad is Curtis Johnson-Parker. She’s old money, he earned his money. And he forced her to get a job. She is now a restaurateur. And he has his business, TeleTech. So yeah, that’s them. I’m me. I work at Mrs. Wong’s Farmers Market and I live in China Town. I have a $300 allowance per month to show me the value of money.

I’m mixed. Yeah. I have, within about 5 generations of my fathers family I am British (originally African, but John Parker was sent to Britain for school), Italian, Japanese, Native American, and French. Farther back in our lineage there is some Russian, Arabian, and Spanish. But those ones were the easiest to trace. My mom… well, OK, there’s British, French, Russian, French, Swiss, Indian, Iranian, Black, and Native American in 9 generations. It’s a big crazy jumble but both sides of my family traveled a lot. My mom’s family had money to travel.


My mom, Jada’s grandfather was really smart. He was a professor, anthropologist, and author. He made a lot of money, but they already had a lot because that’s basically what all of their family did after the first Edward in her family (there are 8). His father was born into money, from having connections to royalty and banking. He married a Russian woman, though he was British and French. Edward V was in the army and he was sent to India. Basically there was a lot of moving around and traveling and that’s how her family got so nationality-mixed.


My dad’s great-great-great grandfather, John Parker, married a Japanese woman. He was British and black, but yeah, he went for the military and came back to Britain married. And they went from working class to middle class by 1914 and stayed that way, though for the most part they stayed in the military. It was through good investing that they made them money. And in 1969 my dad was born into a middle class family. Two years later my mom was born and she to a rich family that traveled a lot and spoiled her.


And now, here I am. Stuck between two crazy different worlds; on one side is my mom teaching me the ways of the classy, royal people and in the other is my dad trying to teach me the values of money. And my grandparents are no help. My mom’s father is Russian and “the big mix” and he spoils her and me, so much. He lives in Florida, right now. My grandparents move a lot. And they have 5 kids; my mom and her older siblings (in order of least to greatest, age-wise), Xylia, Daisie, Adoree, and Marc. My dad’s dad (Big M tries to spoil me as much as possible. They’re living well enough, but they aren’t wealthy, and they refuse to let my dad pay anything except for their mortgage and cable/phone/internet.


So yeah. There’s the family overview. And that’s basically it. I’m usually really happy, smart, sweet, outgoing, and funny. So yep. I’m going to take a nap until the morning. Good night!

8/31    8:56 PM         Dinner at Per Se

Honestly. I don’t even know why we’re here in this stupid private room in Per Se. My dad told me it was “a congratulatory dinner for having a good day at school” but if that’s true why is Marty Hart and his wife and son? My dad’s supposed to be sucking up to them for funding for a project he’s working on. They want “spy gear for kids” and he wants it to be just spy gear. They want him to downgrade so I’m listening to them discuss why it SHOULDN’T be for kids. And their son…well, let’s just say he’s no Parish Kirkpatrick. I saw Parish and his flippy-floppy brown hair and his beautiful tanned skin and his gorgeous green eyes today! Why? I have two classes with him! I hope his guidance counselor doesn’t move him.


And I don’t really care about meeting Chris Hart. He’s a jerk. Maybe he thinks he’s so awesome because he looks like a poor man’s Kellan Lutz, but he isn’t. He’s scrawnier, by far! I’ve known him for a while. He goes to Collegiate in the Upper West Side. Most of the guys who go there are players and jerk-offs. He’s one of them and I met him at a party once. And we hardly spoke. I don’t think he remembers. Why?


Well, let’s see. He’s telling me all about how he goes to Collegiate and is on the track team and how he writes in Prufrock. I don’t really care! Dude, you’re such a tool! He’s just trying to get in my pants. And I have to sit across from him. My mom’s being such the lady… the perfect wife. When my father jokes, she giggles softly. She’s engaging Mindy Hart in conversation. And I have the feeling I’m not being a lady or a good daughter because I’m hardly listening to what Chris is saying. Not that he notices. He’s just talking and eating. Tra-la-la-la-la, he’s probably thinking. Oh, he just looked at me.


“What are you doing?” he asked me, a little miffed.



“Oh, I’m just recording all of the interesting things you say. For my memoirs.

You’re quite interesting, you know,” I said. He’s smiling now. Great he’s talking again. I didn’t see Cassandra B*tch all day. I think I saw a whoosh of blonde, straight hair and a bony nose and I think I had heart palpitations for a second.

That ended and I ran to my next class.

God, what is wrong with me. Oh wait, nothing. Something’s definitely wrong with her, though. Ugh, whatever. I don’t care. I should stop writing so I don’t get in trouble. I sort of like having a journal J


Wearing: A black satin shirt-dress with black, lacey stockings and black Coach pumps. Giant white pearl earrings, red lipstick, low hanging pearl necklaces, ivory and gold bracelet, smoky eye-shadow in black and silver, hair curled.

9/1       1:00 PM         Library

I think I am dead; because I’m totally in heaven. Chris was so ew-nnoying and after dinner my dad gave me $500 for putting up with that. Yesterday at school was great. I have a good amount of classes with Janetta, Bjork, and Martin, my best friends. They’re the “three best friends that anyone could have!” We went to lunch with Keanna and one of our acquaintances, Marianne. We went to Au Bon Pain, grabbed some quick lunch and then headed back to school in time. I wore:

The school’s designated navy blue blazer, a lace tank top under my white button-down, my red pleated skirt (rolled up to be a little shorter because it’s way to long sometimes) and lacy stockings with white Doc Marten boots with silver fleur-du-lis patterning all over. I wore diamond earrings with a diamond bracelet from Tiffany’s, clear lip-balm and eyeliner.


All of my teachers are good except Ms. Marks. Already I don’t like her. She’s stupid. I think I could teach math better than her. And this review is for me to fill my schedule with useless math, because I already took Algebra 2. I skipped geometry and took it over the summer last year. I’m bad at math, but I’m not stupid.


Then I had my classes with Parish and I was in heaven. No signs of Cassandra yet. Let’s keep it like that. It’s only Tuesday and I am so happy already. Bad luck? Who cares? Okay, quickly because I have to run to Jr. Entrepreneurs (to see Parish!). I’m wearing:

Khaki Bermuda shorts with a white button down that’s unbuttoned to reveal a “Sarah in Black Eye” Rock and Republic t-shirt with “Romy in Pewter” strappy heels with chains hanging on the side. Bullet earrings (mommy hates them!) and red lipstick with my hair blown-out like a wild rock star. Plain eyeliner.

Later               1:24 PM Jr. Entrepreneur’s

I just saw Cassandra Lipe. She passed our room and then doubled back when she saw me. I was talking to Parish about the midterm assignment. She slit her eyes at me and frowned before stalking on. Damn.


9/3       6:00 AM         My room

Sometimes I wake up and I feel like my heart is in fog. Covered in darkness. And I have no idea why. I’m going back to sleep.

Later 9:45 PM  My room

I took a Seventeen magazine test about depression. I fit the bill. My parents say I'm going back to school tomorrow, no matter what. 


9/4       3:00 PM         My room

I’ve seen Cassandra several times since “The Incident” my friends and I have come to call it. She snickers at me and says rude things. Whatever. I’m not gonna let her ruin this year for me.


When she saw advertisement’s for the upcoming musical (more info later) she saw me reading one and started taunting me. I just looked at her and went in the opposite direction. Whatever.

9/6       10:59 PM       My Room        L

10  9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 GRAMMY’S

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My mother is… pre-preg-pregn-pregnan-pregnant! Uh-huh! I said it! THIS IS TERRIBLE! HORRIBLE! Now we’ll be poor, plus my mom is so irresponsible that she will drown the baby in salt pork from the Big Wok! It’s practically like when they have those saline injections to the amniotic sac when a woman wants an abortion. But then again… this might be good.

1.      She won’t bug me 24/7

2.      I’ll get the 2nd guest room which is bigger than my room.

3.      She’s going to need to buy new clothes, b/c my mother wears very tight outfits. She’ll be out of the house!

We live in a 3-level apartment in NYC, the best place on the planet. It’s in Chinatown on top of my mom’s gourmet diner-style restaurant, the Pink Tray Diner. But anyway, the rooms are on the top floor. There’s a mini kitchen. Downstairs, there are 2 guest rooms, an office, dining room, living room, another kitchen & a den. On the bottom level is the foyer and a laundry room. It’s pretty big for a loft on top of a restaurant.


I suppose I should have known something was up. We went to Macaroni Grill & my mom hates going to Macaroni Grill because she had a fight with a waiter there. And she calls it “common”. But she knows I like it. For a family worth over a billion dollars, I still eat in “common” places because as my dad has so aptly said, I’m no better than anybody else.


 She didn’t even bother faking like nothing was up. She was smiling goofy-like. I had chicken parmesan. YUM! That’s when she told me. She just blurted it out when she was ordering. “I’M PREGNANT!” she shouted. And I looked at her and frowned and my nose turned red and she said “No sodium for me,” and then she looked down at her menu.


After dinner we went to this cool place called Vespa owned by my mom’s college friend, Jinx McAdams. It’s a bakery/bar/night club. People my age, 14, can get in because they don’t really serve very much alcohol there. Like at restaurants, they serve alcohol, but don’t let young people drink. It’s kind of like…


Okay there are rooms where they serve alcohol & people dance. Then there are rooms where people sit down & enjoy a nice pastry & tea. It’s like some rooms were made for tea parties, while others were made for raves. The room we went to was covered in light blue & cream & gold. Like Buckingham Palace or something. It was regal with all of the big gold & cream chairs. The table was like the ones they have at Parisian cafes.


One of the bars had alcoholic names for pastries. A Crown Royale was a crunchy, brown, caramel dipped pastry puff. They have a Starbucks cart, Cold Stone cart & Hägen Daz cart. I ended up having these great sugar cookies that were better than the ones they have at SubWay, which are good in themselves.


And they had lemon, lime, sugar cubes, crème, and different types of tea and coffee on the table. It was so classy.


Anyways, we had a really ugly waitress named Marisopa. She had beautiful pale skin that was ruined by the blotchy red spots on her face. She had a big, long nose that looked a shark fin or something, and her ears were too pointy. She asked us what we wanted to drink.


Me: Vanilla bean frappucino from the Starbucks cart, please. 2 shots caramel (I held up 2 fingers).


Marisopa: O-okay. And what about you, sir, what would you like? (She was eyeing my dad. I think my dad’s foxy. He’s mixed with a lot of different nationalities. Both of my parents are! My dad’s tall, muscular yet lean, and caramel skinned with a short hair cut. My mom is tall, too, and she’s thin and curvy. She has lighter skin, it’s kind of like… crème and coffee. Lots of crème and a little bit of coffee, I guess. You can tell she isn’t Caucasian though.)


Daddy: Um, lady’s first. (He started holding my mom’s hand, which he doesn’t do very often. He was also suspicious of the ugly waitress).


In case you didn’t know, my mom is territorial. When she starts to slit her eyes & purses her pink lips, duck & cover. The green in her eyes flare up, like they’re trying to show the jealousy.


Mom: First of all, I’d like a chamomile tea. Second, do not hit on my husband.


Marisopa: Oh, really? (She slit her eyes, which just made her look uglier) Well, fine then. (She batted her eyelashes at my dad, which also made her look uglier. She looked like George on Seinfeld when he got grapefruit juice in his eye & he looked really sketchy. BTW, her smile is terrible. Her teeth looked like a shark’s mouth. Like " Miley Cyrus teeth. But her lips are thin & chaffed.)


Dad: I’d like to order now.


Marisopa: (Syrupy sweet) really? What can I do for you, sweetie?


Dad: Puh-lease! Neither the time nor the place. And there will be none, either! I just want water & nothing in it.


Me: DAD!


Dad: And a different waitress.


Marisopa: FINE!


So this new, nice, pretty waitress with a wedding ring came out. I like her a lot & my dad also did. He looked at her butt (Marisopa didn’t have one), my mom slapped him. Everything was back to normal. Then my mom was like “I’m preggers, Dani! What if that woman had spiked my drink? I’d have a retarded baby!” I frowned, of course. Way to bring it up again, mom! Way to make me remember after I had temporarily forgotten, or at least blacked that moment out of my mind. Way. To. Be!


Anyways, I was really tired because in gym we had to run. And we had to run from 1:15 to 1:30, nonstop. I hate running. And one of my best friends, Bjork Purdam, hates it more than I do. She told Mr. Hertz-Moore (yes, I know) “HELL to the NO!” But even though I was cised about it then, I’m not now. No, because we have to run again tomorrow.


Bjork may have brown hair and icy blue eyes, but sometimes she thinks like a blonde. And I know she’s thinking of going blonde, which I hope she isn’t really going to do.


I’m lazy. I don’t run. I’d rather be dancing. I mean, I used to like running. But then I got these weird foot pains & I can’t run for a long time or it hurts. I just like going fast & feeling the wind on my face. Sometimes when I run & it doesn’t hurt, I remember when I loved it. And I want to keep going. But… you really can’t when you live in Chinatown. Or you look crazy. I know a lot of crazy Chinese people, like my boss, Mrs. Wong. But I don’t want to be the only crazy one who isn’t Chinese in my complex.


Anyways, by 10 PM I was so sleepy I zonked out & went to sleep in the Town Car. My dad is the creator of TeleTech (which is not only a technology company but a weapon designing company) and he had them send us a Town Car. Tonight there was a benefit, but we didn’t go. My dad is friends with the benefit leader & he will tell him all about it. Anyways, we took the Town Car to dinner & my dad told Mr. Kaminski, his PR man, that we were at the benefit.  So I guess that’s why I couldn’t see any paparazzi. More on my fame later.

9/6       5:00 PM         My Room       

I just finished my homework. My bestie Janetta Leo just went home. I love Janetta and she’s gorgeous. She’s black and she has such a smooth complexion. She’s 5’ 10” and I guess average build and she has huge brown eyes. She’s so pretty! And talented! She dances s and sings so well! She’s always practicing, because she’s trying to prove herself to her dad, who only goes by Leo, because he owns a record company and he’s a producer. I say if he doesn’t know how amazing she is, then he’s a dick. She wants to be signed, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to be signed to him. She just wants to show him what she’s made of.


My other best friend, Bjork and I just got off the phone, studying after Janetta left. Bjork is so gorgeous but she’s a dope. She’s got brown hair and icy blue eyes, but she might as well be blonde because she’s dumb as a stump. However, my baby is gorgeous and is such the fashionista. If she goes blonde, hopefully it’ll be platinum because she can rock that.


Mmmm and Martin is so cute! He’s a lean little gay boy. He’s sort of emo, but he’s also flamboyant. I love him so much. He has light blonde hair and green eyes and lips to die for! I love my friends. And I miss them.


Yesterday I talked to my crush Parish. I think he’s black and Spanish. Anyways, we were chatting on Facebook and he was telling me how he thinks I’m going to get the lead in the school musical this year, like I did for the second show of the year in freshman year, last year. And he was saying how I was way pretty to be playing the Wicked Witch of the West. But I’m nowhere near as pretty as Idina Menzel, except for the nose. Nor am I as talented. He disagrees. *Shrug* I don’t care though. I may like him way too much and I may flirt with him every single day in English, Advisory, and Jr. Entrepreneurs, but he cannot tell me that I’m better than Idina Menzel. If he ever said I was better than Lady Gaga, I’d think him retarded.

9/7       7:50 AM         AP NSL         

*Sigh* I’m wearing a jumper dress with white button down underneath and green stockings with purple Louboutins. My make-up is green eye shadow with purple eyeliner. I’m wearing a Vivienne Westwood lighter around my neck. I stole the idea from Shin in the manga Nana and I had it made for me. It’s beautiful. I’m wearing black pearls in my ears, and my pink streak in my brown hair is hanging down. My blonde streak in the back is tucked into a ponytail. The jumper feels a little small. My b***s are a C-cup now, so I should do something about that.


9/8       10: 15 AM      Math Review 

I honestly hate Ms. Marks. She’s a fat w***e and I hate her. She can’t even teach well! F*cking b*itch! I got a C on the self-quiz! And it’s because I didn’t understand it whatsoever! B*tch!


Later   11:26 AM       Cooking 101

I’m feeling a little better. I’m helping cook a lot for the Halloween Potluck that’s going to be frozen and thawed for Halloween. I’m wearing a navy blue blazer over a navy blue sweater vest over a white button down shirt paired with my green, red, and navy blue pleated uniform skirt over red stockings and my chocolate Seychelles. Ankle boots are weird things. I’m wearing gold eye shadow, black “scene” eyeliner and huge pearl earrings. My lip gloss is rosy gold and I’m wearing a cameo choker. I pierced my nose yesterday after school. I put the gold stud in my nose. My parents weren’t happy. I feel bad. I love them so much, I don’t want to hurt them! But whatever.


9/8       9:02 AM         Performing Arts (Rotational 1)        

Huh. I woke up this morning feeling just delightful! Better than I’ve felt in quite a while, to be honest. Ever since the whole thing with Cassandra Lipe at the end of last year and everything she’s been saying as of late, I’ve been feeling sad and stuff. But I feel so great today. So much better than I’ve felt in a while. Yesterday Cassandra wasn’t at school and I asked Cameron Tory why and she said Cassandra went on vacation. Yeah, baby! OK, so I expect nothing crazy will happen while she’s away. I feel like a weight has been lifted from on my heart. I am old, careless, happy Danica who has a stupid allowance of $300 (even though in middle school I had no allowance, I got whatever I wanted. Only last year did I start getting an allowance of $200; this year $300. If I get all A’s it’ll go up to $500.)

Um okay, so I’m wearing a grey jumper dress with white button down underneath and hot pink stockings. Nobody follows the “refrain from brightly colored clothes”. We’re who we are. Black, wingtip eyeliner, hot pink eye shadow, studded belt, with bullet earrings, which my mom hates.  


10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 21 GRAMMY’S

No time! Don’t know the time, either! Big sale at Bergdorf’s! I can afford something on my $300-a-month allowance and minute wages from Mrs. Wong’s farmer’s market arranging the displays, what now baby? Yeah!



Grammy’s were good. I went with my best friend in the whole wide world, Janetta, because of her music mogul dad and superstar singer mom. I liked it. I wore a red and black Vivienne Westwood dress and was printed in Us Weekly. Mom is at doctors and I’m with her. BORING. I could write. I would write. But not a single thing is going on that should inspire me to do so. And so I won’t.



Oh. Oh God, this is horrible. Cassandra Lipe is coming back. ON THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH! Luckily, I have no classes with her and she’ll be playing catch-up. She’ll hopefully not bother me. Her and her long nose better stay the f*ck away from me, before I f*cking bash my own brains out! She’s so persistent in annoying me! Oh, well, gotta go and suck up the last rays of happiness and freedom before she returns.


10/5    9:30 AM         Chorus

Erica & I are no longer friends. Erica Ansenburndt (Russian; blonde hair, blue eyes, relatively thin; stomach, thighs are pure fat. Eats too much junk food. Otherwise, nice enough body) was one of my many best friends. But " I guess she isn’t anymore. I always knew that Erica wouldn’t last very long. She was never a really good friend. She was actually very b****y & she complained a lot.


Anyways, since period 1 Erica & I haven’t spoken. It’s all Alöba’s fault. Al (mousy Asian girl who wears glasses, jeans, a hoodie, and a fitted t-shirt everyday) & I used to be friends, but not really anymore. I hate Erica & I hate Alöba! They both SUCK!


All I said was that Mrs. O’Connor said to move the tables back, so that we could fit the huge cauldron in there. Mrs. O’Connor is a really great teacher. She’s been teaching us to make food using cauldrons because Halloween is coming & we’re supposed to be having some sort of potluck dinner in 2 weeks. And I go to a wealthy private academy with a lot of wealthy, bitchy brats where we all wear uniforms that oddly look like Vampire Knight meets VH1’s Charm School. I think they’re cute :D but apparently nobody agrees with me because they complain about them. Instead of wasting time wondering what outfit I’ll wear to school tomorrow (which I do! There are so many combinations and I have to accessorize! I mean, come one, and am I slob? No!) I can focus on homework and in the morning I can go above and beyond with my make-up.


***So I’ll explain how famous we are in my family. My mom is really big in the food industry and because of her cooking and 4 to 5 star restaurants (she has about 3 Pink Try Diner’s that serve gourmet diner staples in New York, Kiorga which is a LOT classier, and she’s adding a few new ones), she’s big, big, and big. Plus she’s old money.


My dad’s business, TeleTech, produces technology that’s neck and neck with Hewlett Packard and Apple. He also designs and manufactures modern weapons. He makes billions of dollars a year and he’s friends with lots of wealthy people on the celeb circuit. Last week I saw Lady Gaga, who is my idol, with a TeleTech celly and mp3 player. And I was like “what! Holy cow!” He worked with Jay-Z to make these really amazing headphones that have a state-of-the-art sound system built into the speakers. And they’re adorable. There are so many!


They’re both always in the tabs, because they’re “New York’s Leading Power Couple”. In turn, I am often in the tabs because I’m their daughter. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice and everything. But it’s such an invasion of my personal private life sometimes. At least I don’t get it as bad as other heiresses, especially since I don’t live in Los Angeles.***


Back on topic, though. Where was I? Oh yeah, so, anyways, so I said:

Me: Move the table back. (And she didn’t respond, so I repeated it.) Move the table back.

A: I’m going. Stop yelling!

Me: I wasn’t yelling. I just told you & you’re still sitting there.

A: (Stands) NO! You said it 5 times!

Me: First of all, no I did NOT. Second of all, you never acknowledged it either times.

E: Stop being rude, Danica.


E: Ally, do you think we should speak in 3rd person?


***Have I mentioned that I hate when people speak in third person. They sound like they never went to school or something. And it’s a new trend that the Unpopulars have picked up. At my school, Unpopulars are the people who aren’t preppy & are just not popular because they’re nerdy or whatever. (They say things like, “Have you gotten the new up level on Maple Story? It’s awesome, dudes.)

They just started wearing Hollister because they see other people wearing it. Well, I don’t wear Hollister. I’ve only been in Hollister once just recently because my cousin works there. It’s dark & the scent is overbearing.

Anyways, the “Populars” " if you can call them that. I personally hate most of them, if not all. They’re not popular. Not many people like them except themselves & this wannabe girl name Pearl.

She is fat & when she walks down the hall people go “MOTHER OF PEARL, boy do I feel sorry for you.” As if to say that being pearls mom is bad. But I guess it is because she’s really short, really fat, really dumb, and really bad. Well, not bad. She’s just lazy. I suspect she’s failing gym, too.

But it’s nothing mean! Like, I think it’s because she never changes. I never really get physical, but at least I change most of the time. In the winter, I only changed my pants & just wore sweaters or sweatshirts, because I didn’t want anybody looking at my chest.

There is a girl I suspect to be a perverted lesbian whose locker is right next to mine. Her name is Chamomile. And Chamomile is gross. She’s also fat & when she walks down the hall her so called “friends” " I have asked, and they hate her"go “EARTHQUAKE!” I think it’s funny because I don’t like her, but still. Now I just put my gym t-shirt over my regular t-shirt, and trust me, I don’t get into trouble. ***


In response to what Erica said, Ally said:

A: No.

E: Well, Erica does.

Me: I’m leaving.

And I haven’t talked to her since then. It’s not like she tried to stop me or apologize. It’s been 3 class periods & she’s said nothing. She usually does this. She’s a very bad friend, you know. Actually, she’s just a really bad person, in general. She has terrible people skills.


But you know I can do without the stress & drama! I’ve told her not be a passive-aggressive snot but it hasn’t helped. I guess not everybody can follow quality advice.


Wow! Look at this great love scene I drew while I was waiting to get out of chorus. I think I’m going to drop chorus. I don’t like it. And I think it’s really stupid. I can sing, but I don’t need to show it to the school. I’d rather show my talents using cooking or drawing. I paint a little, but not often. I like painting. It’s pretty cool.


10/30  8:32 AM        GT English

Mrs. Klatz never shuts up! But I don’t care because I never get in trouble for not paying attention. She’s pretty annoying. It’s only 1 minute into class & she gabbing! And do you know what she’s talking about? She’s talking about how she’s attempting to cross pollinate a cucumber & some sort of squash. It’s not interesting at all, because I know she can’t do it. Mrs. Klatz, no offense, is a failure when it comes to cross pollination. She has been trying since last year, & she keeps a photo album, a video diary, and a written synopsis of its days. You’d think by now that she’d get it, but she hasn’t. She still tries. She should just leave it to the biology teacher who is a whiz at cross pollination. Mrs. K should stick to books & stuff.


Anyways, I’m trying out to be in the school musical. It’s called “We Got the Beat” & I’m going out for the part of Corrine Donaldson. She’s a dance maniac from the 80’s. I know all there is about the 80’s pop culture. You’ve no idea how excited I am! I did both the school play and the musical last year. We put on the play Macbeth and then in the spring we performed Wicked. And it was ah-mazing! Both stars of Wicked from Broadway came to see it on opening night! I cannot believe I met them! I love Idina Mendel. Oh, it was soooo great! I love theater, but of course anything that you add music to is about 100 times better so I especially love musical theater! Oh, I cannot wait for try-outs.


The author of it, Vanessa Tango, is pretty talented. She really captures the spirit of dance to the maximum potential! I mean the songs are great and are really ‘80s, ranging from pop to hip-hop. And the On the day of try-outs, 2 months from now, I’m going to tease up my about-a-foot-long-in-length hair, wear big earrings, leg warmers, a huge sweater, leggings, & my Chuck’s.


My gay best friend, Martin Lorette, is trying out for Corrine’s best friend, Arnold! Well, it’s ironic since Martin’s gay and so is Arnold. Maybe it’s not ironic, I don’t know. I’m too tired and bored to think.


I know what you’re thinking, “you’re in 10th grade, how can you just label him gay so early?” Well, it’s not that early, actually. He’s gay & there’s no stopping that! He has a boyfriend, Antony Gonzalez. Tony is Spanish & he’s really cute, but he goes the gay route (and besides that, I like Parish Kirkpatrick. A LOT!), so…


Anyways, we’re having a discussion on a book tomorrow. A little while back we did a vote and we had to choose “As Change is Inevitable” by Kama Coroners, “Animal Farm” by George Orwell, or we had to read “As You like It” by Shakespeare (I don’t know why). Let me tell you. I’ve been forced to read both of those books last year when I was abiding by a curriculum they have in Montgomery County which is in Maryland when my dad was tutoring me after school. We’re allowed to vote on a curriculum from a different place once in a while in a few of our classes. And let me also tell you this; that was the worst curriculum ever made.

I go to a private school called The Gallagher Institute of Higher Learning (previously The Gallagher Institute) in Manhattan. It is a huge school, even though it looks small from the outside. There are four levels and the basement, and they have 3 wings each. The basement house the Physical Education wing, the boiler room, the library which spans up to the first floor, and the cafeteria; the Visual, Performing, and Culinary Wings are on the first floor including the auditorium that spans up to the second level; the second floor houses the Writing, Language, and Theatre Wings, and the school entrance; the third floor houses the Math, Science, and Engineering Wings and the library, 4 computer labs, the main and guidance offices; and the top floor has the teacher lounges, student lounges, and the Internship Wing are all up there. They’re split up into triangular sections; the wings are split by large, thick gray walls. The floor is covered in white and black tile, which sounds ugly, but it’s beautiful. The walls are made of grey stones and cement and it looks like an old school, but it isn’t. Plus the cold holds in the weather, which is very good, since we’re a pretty “green” school. We have solar panels in the roof, but they’re hidden.


The gyms are all state of the art. They have a dance studio, a general P.E. gym, a weight room, an exercise machine room, a pool and hot tub (which you need doctor permission to use), and a sauna (which we have to have doctor permission to use), and a spa. The performing arts centers have another dance studio, a recording studio, 2 choral rooms with amazing acoustics, a fake stage, a costume storage facility, orchestra room, a show studio for producing shows, and band room. The visual arts center houses about 6 art studios, two of them for sculpting and pottery, and one for digital art. There is a visual arts garden outside, too. It is so beautiful. And in the engineering wing they have Woodshop and Technology crap rooms.


“As Change is Inevitable” is about people’s lives changing by moving around a lot, but how life is like a game of chess. You have to move to the right place to win. But the more powerful people try to crush you, so you have to use other people to protect you. I think that that’s horrible, but true. You can just use people to accomplish what you need done. Basically Kama Coroners is saying that ones most important connections are the pawns. And she’s also basically saying that you’re the master of your domain, or the Queen. If you aren’t, then you have to make it so. I agree with that, but the way she describes it is… truthfully it is evil.


Everybody chose “ACI” which I also read last year. It was good & I finished it in one day. But I reread it & then I reread the 2nd book in the series, “Let Alone the Popular”. That one wasn’t as good as the first one, being about how the more popular you are the more power you have. But anyways, while some idiots are just finishing it up, I’ve read 14 books in the vicinity of the time we were supposed to take to read it. And I never want to read a book by Kama Coroners again. She’s a mindless idiot and… well to be honest, she basically supports a caste system.


My school is like a caste system, I realized as I read (one of my favorite past-times) ACI. I ran for Student Govt. President, but because it’s a popularity contest I didn’t win. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m a tough kid. I don’t take BS & if you try to feed any to me, you’ll get something you don’t want right back. And it’s usually a rude, snide comment. I’m quite witty so I guess that’s why. But sometimes I don’t get to the punch fast enough & I think of something really good later when I’m going over scenarios in my head. That’s what sucks the most. Like on Seinfeld when George thinks up that pretty dumb retort to what a guy at his job says to him. I think it went like this:


George: And then he said, “The shrimp store called & they’re running out of you.” And I said, “Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called & they’re running out of you!”

Jerry: That’s pretty good. You really said that?

George: No, well, I thought it up on the way over here.

Jerry: Oh, well that’s different.


Well, that’s not me, but it sometimes is. I try to be nice, but sometimes it slips. Or sometimes I am & I regret it. So, people at my school are jerks & they’re idiots. This is why I’ve become even meaner than before. Not as bad as when I was in 5th grade, but still worse than 6th grade. Anyways, that’s partially why I’m not popular with a lot of our students & didn’t win.


The other reason is because I hate preps (and they are like 70% of our school), the “Populars”. I don’t hate popular people, I like some of them. But not the Populars because they’re awful & I honestly can’t stand most of them, it’s too hard to put up with. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances but I wouldn’t say I’m popular.


And their taste in music sucks. I hate the Dave Matthews band. And I hate that “scream-o” music. I learned that phrase from my friend Cassie. But I prefer Spice Girls, Sugar Babes, t.A.T.u., Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, Katy Perry, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, etc. I have a really widespread taste in music.


So I guess that’s why I lost. Because I hate a lot of them or aren’t friends with them.


But then I tried out for Parliamentarian & I got it. It could be because I started being nicer or because I ran against an idiot named Lionel Andrew. Lionel Andrew is hated by almost everyone except for some “Unpopulars” and not even many of them. Lionel Andrew, a stupid-a*s firecrotch who looks like a plucked baby chicken, likes to say rude things to people & then whisper under his breath.


We were playing the best game ever, Capture the Flag. Anyways he said to me"well not really, he said it under his stank breath"“you’re going to lose.” Let’s just get something straight, as many enemies as I have, he has more. And I have many enemies. I happened to hear him, and this is what happened:


Me: Don’t whisper about me under you’re stank breath, you little p**sy!

Lionel Andrew: I’m not a p**sy. I just have one. (We laughed at him. It was mainly because he didn’t know what p**sy meant.)

Me: Oh, really? I guessed as much. Well, JSYK you’re going to lose because nobody likes you. You think you’re so much better than me? No.


I was right, of course. His speech was awful. Mine was really great. Anyways, I also tried out for the talent show. We would have gotten in if it weren’t for my friend Alyssa. She was “academically inadequate”. That’s a smarty pants way of saying she’s a lazy idiot.


Oh, it was the first time that I sassed a teacher, but that isn’t important.


Anyways, so I made a poster that said “A STAR IS BORN” & my mom said she didn’t remember giving birth to a celestial being. I think that’s extra yuck. She said she should be in Guinness World Records. Janetta keeps tapping me. I’ll see what she wants.


LATER           the front office                        10:22 PM

I’m in shock. So Janetta was poking me & I got annoyed:

Me: WHAT?!

Mrs. Katz: Danica, quiet please.

J: Dani (that’s what people call me. My uncle calls me DD. Mostly because my name’s Danica, but I suspect it might have to do with the fact that my b***s are pretty big. Of course, I’m only a C); I want you to know that Cassandra Lipe thinks she’ll get part of Corrine. And she is trying out, you know that right?

Me: Oh, no. She’s surely going to get it! I mean… She’s been entertaining since she was three! She wants to be a stage performer! She was Glinda! Glinda’s the good witch! Everyone wants to be Glinda! Oh no! Oh no!

J: Shut up, Dani! You know you’re gonna knock ‘em dead like that (she snapped her fingers like a flaming queen). Get with it! Snap (she snapped again) out of it! You’re great! And you cannot give up & you cannot be such a pansy! I know you will get the part! You were Elphaba, the main character who was played by Idina Menzel! You’ll get the part!

Me: Oh, no I won’t! I won’t, my GOD, I won’t.

Mrs. Klatz: Ladies, be quiet!

J: Sorry, Mrs. K.


Mrs. Katz: DANICA!

J: Well, actually"

Me & J: It’s Dani!


Really, I screamed it. And Parish (the sexiest, hottest, sweetest, smartest boy in all of Gallagher and the guy who will be mine, alllllll miiiiiine!) was right in our class! I suppose I’m cracking under the pressure of Jr. Entrepreneur’s class (double period. Hard as sh*t! My God, that class is either boring or hard. Whatever it is, Cassandra Lipe gets all A’s and I always get an 89.94% in that stupid a*s class), my mother’s pregnancy, homework, my job at Mrs. Wong’s grocery store (she calls it a farmers market), practicing for this try out stuff, & even now… Cassandra Lipe making all these comments. She’s been making them since the end of last year, when she heard I was going to keep up with theater.


Now let me just say that Ms. Nasty is in 10th grade. I think she’s been in every school play or musical since elementary school. She says she has. I don’t know because our school only holds 6th to 12th graders. Anyways, I have to tell you, I don’t think I really stand a chance at all. But people think I do. Quel chance, huh?

Why am I in the office? Well, I had a nervous breakdown. Cassandra Lipe passed me in the hall & said:


CL: You’re going down, Parker.

Me: I know.


I guess she didn’t hear everything I said"even though it wasn’t that much"because, I must say, I was whispering kind of. She probably only heard “know” which sounds exactly like “no” (duh!) because she said:


CL: Yes, you are. You stand no chance, whatsoever, against me. I mean, I’ve been in every play &/or musical in all of my schools, usually the lead! You, well, you might as well just give up.


I immediately began crying, tears shedding my eyes like a waterfall. So cliché! Anyways, so they think I’m having a nervous breakdown. Why? This is what happened, and I know I lost my mind. She’s not even prettier than me! She has long, sharp features and boring grey eyes and blonde, straight hair that is always in a ponytail.


I went on a destructive rampage through the Arts Wing, which we all call the AW. Some losers call it the “aw” because they’re dumb. But, anyways, I wasn’t suspended, if you wanted to know. Or really if I wanted to remember, because I usually go back & read old things I wrote.


Well, anyways, Miss Lipe kept passing me in the hallway & taunting me.  She said things close to the nature of “Loser”, “You’re going down”, “Oh, you poor fool”, etc. Well, I stayed late to talk to my idiot Mathematic Review teacher, Ms. Marks, and I was the last to leave the hallway. I guess Cassandra saw me & hung around to taunt me. She said the one thing that would set me on edge, I think. She said:


CL: Hey, mutt. A mutt like you should stop trying to claw its way to the top. That’s for purebreds like… me. That’s where we go. I do suppose you don’t belong up there with us. But, it’s OK. A half-breed mutt like you should just, I don’t know, heed"

Me: What did you just say?

CL: You heard me, mutt.

Me: Oh, well I thought I heard you wrong. You know what"


I bent over & pressed me palms together, slitting my eyes, like I was going to explain something to her. But I didn’t. I kicked her in the stomach, because I take a martial arts class to keep up my Japanese & Chinese heritage. I am a mutt. But nobody, not even Cassandra Lipe, calls me that & gets away with it.


Everything went a little fuzzy. I dropped my bag, picked up a ceramic vase that Donna Connery made & chucked at Cassandra’s big, dumb head.


I missed because everything went all blurry. It hit the wall & a shard hit her, making a jagged scratch on Cassandra’s pale arm. She yelled, but it sounded like a monkey howling. I was laughing, before my face got really serious (I assume) & I spin-kicked a wooden fish into her stomach.


I must admit, my hand eye coordination is pretty good; I have the best in my Judo class. But my dad’s is better & I guess that’s why I get myself down. I compare my art to his. I definitely don’t miss when I get down to the feet. The fish hit Cassandra Lipe square in the stomach. She started howling again, and I shouted “SHUT IT!”


She immediately snapped her mouth closed. By now, Ms. Marks was coming out of her room because of that monkey, Cassandra Lipe, howling. Laughing maniacally, I ran into a room filled with microphones, video & digital cameras, etc. I twirled a microphone around in my fist knocking things over, but not breaking them. After smashing a digital camera against a brick wall, I quickly jumped up & ran to another room. Cassandra just stared after me in horror.


I took a ceramic bat off of the cabinet & smashed some other pottery with it. By then Ms. Marks was calling the security. I smashed a metal cylinder, & noticed I was drawing a large crowd of people coming to their 7th period classes down in the Arts Wing. I saw some burly men jogging down the hall. Well, not jogging. Our security guards love a good fight, so they came slowly.


I took the chance to turn to Cassandra, snarling. I turned fully around & ran up behind her, jumping on her back. I pulled her hair, and she screeched like a baboon. Roaring, I saw the 3 security guards. I could tell that they were going to try to pull me off. Defiantly, I held on tight & shook Cassandra’s neck.


Janetta said she was laughing, but she ended up kicking me in the back. I fell off, duh, and she & Martin pulled me to the main office"of course I was kicking & screaming the whole way. Apparently a boy named Ulrich Sitar put it on YouTube but I think it’s gonna be taken down soon, so I better watch it when I get in the car. I’m not allowed to use my laptop in the office, and I’m not breaking that rule.


Hold on a second…


I know why I didn’t get suspended. I heard Principal Potter talking on her cell phone to another teacher. She went into her office & smiled sympathetically at me after saying in a whisper, “Well, I’ll tell you all the details of why Ms. Parker isn’t being suspended. Hold on, I see her.”


I took out my BlackBerry & hacked into her earpiece to hear what she was saying:


PP: Well, Margo (Margo Martinez teaches Spanish, which I don’t take. I could tell it was Ms. Martinez because she has a pretty cool Spanish accent. She’s a pure Spaniard. Ugh, pure bred. I cannot believe the b***h said that). See, I know you’ve probably heard about what she did from Luis (Luis Rodriguez).

MM: Yeah, well he’s my boyfriend. (Let me just say, WOW! Ms. M & Mr. Rodriguez are dating. That’s bound to cause a stir! I mean, WHOA!) It’s disappointing that I had to hear it from him & not from somebody else, uh, like"I don’t know"YOU!

PP: Look, Margo, I don’t have anything to explain to you. But if you want to act like that, I won’t tell you.

MM: No, c’mon Peggy! I’m sorry, tell me what happened. You know I have a class in 15 minutes! And I’m not going to asking those little putas because you know how kids lie!

PP: Thought as much. Okay, well, I’m not suspending her because of a few reasons. Her parents paid for the damages. They donate a fat lot of money to the school, and the poor girl was having a nervous breakdown.

MM: You are so stupid, sometimes. What about those kids who had their stuff ruined?

PP: Danica will be required to write a full apology when she returns. For now I think I’ll advise her parents to take her to my therapist"

Both: Dr. Simmons.

MM: I know, you’ve told me about Dr. Simmons hundreds of times. How Dr. Simmons has really healed you & how he’s the best. I know, Peggy.


I must say, I am appalled at this. I have to write a letter of apology? Oh, well. I guess it’s better than being suspended. I logged their conversation into my laptop, yes, I’m great at hacking.

BTW, being pregnant must be pretty boring because my mom never does anything except work from the house and scold me for not doing homework more often. “Have you done your homework?” she says.

“No.” I say.

“It’s your funeral, you good for nothing fool!”

MOM!” I shout. Maybe her hormones are effed up because she’s being uber-B*TCH! Otherwise, her belly is growing and she throws up. As it is, she never goes in to work, she just stays home so I can expect to be called a “good for nothing” as soon as I get home if I don’t start on my homework, silently as well as immediately.

And she wonders why I’m, according to her and my dad, depressed. They told my teachers that I’ve been acting depressed at home and asked if that’s how it was at school. And my teachers agreed. They said I had differed from my normal, happy, loud, outgoing self. That all I did was write in this journal or write in my song journal, or type away on my laptop. I hardly talked and when we had the choice of working with partners I did the work by myself or didn’t do the work at all. I just sat there staring at the board.

I admit this is the truth. But it doesn’t mean that I’m depressed! And I heard my mom and dad talking to each other about me. They were chatting on and on about how since last year my happy, sunny demeanor. And they didn’t get it because I had been so happy after the success of me as Elphaba and Cassandra as Glinda. We hadn’t gotten along then but she saw my talent as a freshman who made it to such a high position. And then the mean comments started coming. I could see where my mom and dad, and even teachers were coming from with all of this. But I am not depressed.


Later               my bedroom  3:30 PM

I’ve been felling a lot better since beating the sh*t out of Cassandra and now guess what. My cousin, Katrina, came to visit all the way from Russia. She doesn’t live with her parents in Germany anymore. Her dad is Russian & her mom is my dad’s sister. She came just in time, too. We arrived at home & there she was, just sitting in the egg chair that hangs from the ceiling (the one my mom never sits in because she thinks that the titanium chain will break & she will tumble down to the ground. If that ever did happen, I know that I would laugh. Actually I might not, because she is my mom & she is pregnant, but if it were on TV that would be different.)

Katrina, whom I call Katy, is something like Charlie’s Angels. She is an assassin & she works for a man she has never met. She sometimes works for the FBI & CIA because she’s a good guy… girl… whatever, you know what I mean.

I know, it’s unbelievable, but it’s true. She’s a spy. There are lots of bad guys out there. As soon as I saw Katy, I smiled & remembered to bow, with my palms pressed together, like a student to their sensei:


K: Allo, Danica-ka. (She was speaking in Russian. She seemed real calm, which she usually is. Then a huge smile broke onto her face.)

Me: Allo, Katy-ka! (I ran to hug her. It was dumb, yeah, but so what?)

K: I came to help you with your try-outs. I know you will win & I plan to be part of your success. In a way, I’m a parasite feeding off of you. Joking (she pointed a finger at me & tipped her head to the side, winking, with her lop-sided smile. I’ve seen it so many times. It was odd because she is so sassy and witty and really controlling. She has a strong jaw, pretty, almond shaped face. Her hair is black and wispy and it’s always straight and flat until the middle of her head, where it begins curling up into a curve on each side. Like some sort of anime character or cat. All of Katy’s clothes are skimpy, yet high-end things that come together looking cute. But better if she wore a bra…EVER!)

Me: (Sullen) Katy… I’m not trying out. I won’t get the part. Cassandra Lipe will. She’s been doing all that stuff since she was 3. She’s taken lessons.

K: (Slits eyes & puckers mouth. She slowly raised her chin & tilted it, in one swift motion) Are you telling me that you’re quitting?

Me: Yeah, well, she said I couldn’t win. I think she’s right.

K: Well, I say she’s not.

Me: Well, what you say doesn’t really matter in this situation. I think what Cassandra Lipe says is more important here.

K: When I said I wanted to be a paid assassin I was sent to therapy for 9 years. They told me I couldn’t & I said I could. And I am, right?

Me: Well, not really "

K: Yeah, well, I’m pretty d**n close! And you will be, too. Take charge of your life & don’t let this Camisole Nose"

Me: Cassandra Lipe…

K: Don’t let this Camisole Nose take control of your life.


That was pretty much it, after I agreed. Then Katy asked me to show her around the house & our street.



Later still         Home office   6:54 PM        

Katy was telling me about how she killed Ali Baka-Fura, AKA Ali Fury.

He was a child trafficker & a drug dealer who worked at Symantec & swindled a lot of money. He pimped out thousands of children & teens. He swindled millions of dollars. On an undercover, she was meant to capture him & take him to the feds, but he shot at her & she killed him.

She dragged his lifeless body to a police station in Miami, and reported that he attacked her & she broke his neck in self defense. She reported his death under the name of Penny Jenkins. My cousin can pass for most races because her skin looks like a white person who has an awesome surfing tan or a black person with light skin. It’s a pale copper or gold. So she can pass as Indian, Middle Eastern, Caucasian (Italian or Greek), Black, etc. & whatever.

I guess I should lay out a description. I drew a picture, and I think I have one. I’ll try to tape it in here sometime.


Name: Katrina Alexia-Marie-Antoinette Putanov

Age: 24

DOB: July 4th, 1984

Siblings: Dmitri, Remi, Alice, & Alexei Putanov

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Black

Skin: Pale copper or gold

Height: 5’ 11”

Weight: 132 lb. (3% fat)

Bust: C


Katy is really hot in most people opinions. She can fit into almost any setting, which could be why she’s so great at her job. Can I add this? I’m happy that I went to Cooking 101, because it turns out that the Potluck was today. We’re going… if I’m still allowed at the school today. Which I think I am, and I hope I’m right. I begged my mom to let us go, because I had done so much work for the Potluck over the month. I really don’t want it to go to waste. Katy’s coming along and I had to force her to put on a bra and wear a proper shirt, not a lace tank top or corset, and skinny jeans, not a tiny skirt.

We’re leaving now. I had to listen to my parents lecture me all the way home and after Katy started getting into the guest room. They’re annoying me. They better shut up while we’re on our way to the Potluck. Oh God! What’s wrong with me? Really, seriously? What the hell is my problem? I love my parents and we never have problems! Why am I acting like this? Ugh!




HALLOWEEN           10:08 AM       Mathematic Review

Oh… my… GOD! Katy asked me if I wanted to go out tonight for Halloween. I said sure, because I wanted to be polite. But she bought me a w***e costume! I knew I couldn’t afford one on how much I get paid at the grocery store and because I went shopping and forgot about Halloween, but still!

Katy insists that we go to a sleazy club where terrible people hang out. In the back, there is a strip club. Narcotic users hang out there… oh yeah, and their dealers, too. What can you expect from someone wearing orange and black stripped thigh-high socks, a micro-mini black leather skirt and an orang tank top with no bra?

If I say no, Katy will probably paralyze my leg for an hour or something. Plus, I’m only 14! How will I get into some night club? But, the kind of club that Narcalypse is… I think anybody could get in. I’m going to be a sexed up fairy princess & the costume consists of a fake tiara; fake wings, a green halter dress thingy, & knee high boots. The stomach part of the dress is missing. As in its fishnet, not dress. Just look at the pic I drew here!

Here’s what happened:


K: (Speaking in Russian for the whole conversation) I got you something fierce & hot!

Me: (English) Oh, thanks! I bet I’ll love it. I couldn’t afford one with my pay at Mrs. Wong’s.

K: Oh, I know you’ll love it. (And she gave it to me. And I stared at it.)

Me: Oh! Wow! This is… Spaceba… This is something.

K: No problem. Well, try it on!


And I did. And I looked like a hooker.


Me: I look like a hooker!

K: No. You look like a fairy princess.

Me: Only hookers wear knee-high boots!

K: Fairy"Princess!

Me: This is no Tinkerbell costume, Katrina!

K: Dani-ka, c’mon! It’s cute. Everybody at the night club we’re going to go to dresses like this!

Me: What? I am not going out like this.

K: (Ignoring me) Yeah, a very good idea. We’ll go to Nar"

Me: No"We"Will"Not! I won’t!

K: (In English) I’ll speak so that you understand better. WE will"

Me: Not me.

K: I will put you in a sleeper!

Me: And if you try, I will punch you in the throat.

K: This conversation is over.


That was pretty scary. But I got over it. I have to go.


Later   My Room        4:15 PM

I just woke up thanks to that b*****d, Mr. Hertz-Moore. He made us do a triathlon where we ran a mile, swam 3 laps. This is the third thing… dodge ball. More like dodge apple. We had to dodge apples. Cold, hard ones if you were lucky. Mushy, warm ones if you weren’t. My good friend, Bjork Purdam, got hit with a mushy one & she had to shower in the locker room. She was late to Jr. E class & Mr. Hertz-Moore refused to give her a pass. He’s holding a grudge.


Oh yeah! Speaking of Bjork, I can’t go to the night club. I had forgotten that I was going to Bjork’s house for a Halloween sleepover. Bjork’s dad is an architect & he built them a huge, beautiful house. He designed a gym called Gardenia Mounts. Loads of celebrities are going to the opening party & so am I!


When I told Katy, she flipped out. She was all, “Danica! How could you? I paid $90 for your costume!” I happened to notice that she was watching Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts. Can I just say my costume boots & Julia’s boots look like identical twins? And I’m only 14! I happened to mention all of this & Katy & she scowled at me before paralyzing my hand for 20 minutes. But I don’t care because I DON’T HAVE TO GO!


So I said, “Here. Let’s return it and go down to the Village and we’ll find me a cute wig that I can wear.”


Oh yeah! Last night we ended up going to a benefit for education thrown by TeleTech.


But, anyways, guess who showed their face. Their suit was too tight; they had an ugly bowler hat on, & a bright green bowtie. Give up? Mr. Hertz-Moore & his 18, soon-to-be 19 years-old wife, that’s who!


Mr. Hertz-Moor’s wife’s name is Larissa Lamar-Inez. Her father is a handsome Spaniard & her mother’s father has royal connections. Her mother is a vision of beauty! But Larissa is quite ugly. Her face is red & covered in little freckles, as is the rest of her body. She’s so skinny; her chest is so flat it could be concave. Okay, she’s an AA cup. So, I exaggerated, so?


Larissa’s cheekbones would be pretty (because they’re high) if her face weren’t so thin! Her eyes are severely almond-shaped, and her lips are full of collagen. I think they’re the best part of her face & they aren’t even real! I, Danica-Aurum, was disgusted by seeing her & her outfit. She had on a mini top-hat, a pink tube dress with white strips, pink tights with boots that looked like my old costumes boots; in other words, I found it gross. Her hair reaches her calves, FYI.


They got married in November & they love each other. Plus, she’s so ugly that the first person who wanted her got her.


Mom: Isn’t that your Gym teacher, James Hertz-Moore?

Me: Mom. Do not!

Dad: Who is that hideous child with him?

Me: Daddy, tell Mom to stop waving!

Dad: My God, that girl’s outfit is awful. She looks like she’s going to a nightclub, not a benefit!

Mom: He’s a nice man.

Me: No he’s not. He makes us run all period long. Nonstop!

Mom: He seems like a good trainer. I’ll call him when I need to lose baby weight.

Dad: That girl is RED! She looks like she’s choking. She is a violent shade of red.

Me: (Rolls eyes at dad & addresses mom.) You’re obviously delirious from morning sickness.

Mom: Oh, no, I’m not. That was only for 3 days, Dani. James!

Me: (I grab her arm down & squeeze it.) You listen here, you prego! You will not attract his attention. I don’t want him here, understand?


Me: Ah! Mom, no!

Dad: Calm down, that ugly girl looks your age. D*mn, she’s an ugly one.

Mr. HM: ‘Ello, people. How’s it going’? (He shakes hands as I scowl at him stubble.) Oh, well, ‘ello darlin’! I didn’t’ expect’ to see you he’e, Dan’cka.

Me: It’s Danica.

Dad: So who is this… special young lady? Your niece?

Mr. HM: (Laughing) Ho, ho! No! She’s my wife!

Dad: Uh…

Mom: My God!

Me: (Snickering) Oh, sh*t!

Mr. HM: Yeah, got married in September. ‘S why I was gone a week, you can ask Dan’cka.

Me: My name is Danica.


Then he told us how they met. You know it’s interesting to find out that your teacher likes young girls who are only a few years your elder. Even though tomorrow is her birthday, still, I find that yuck! I mean, they’ve been dating 2 years! I drew a picture, but I also got a photo of them. November 30th, Larissa invited us over for dinner.


JSYK, I bought a new costume & I was going to be a sea nymph"not a nympho. That’s funny. I’m glad I wrote it down. I’m not wearing it, though. I’m wearing a bright pink anime wig and candy-like make-up. Apparently it brings out my “big, brown eyes” and my “small, sloping nose” according to People Magazine’s Beautiful People of America. They also said I was so fit and curvy that I rivaled Angelina Jolie. Liars! And I have C-cups, not big b***s like Angelina. She’s so pretty!


Oh, my dad’s calling me to go over to Bjork’s. I’m going to help her oversee the workers setting up, while he talks to her dad. My mom & her mom always talk about socialite stuff, but I don’t think she knows that my mom always owns a business. Later, I’ll write from the party.



Later some time past 12  Bjork’s walk-in-closet

Bjork’s dad showed me & my parents the blue print of their house & he pointed out that Bjork & her mom have walk in closets the size of my living room & sitting room, which are both big. It’s also called WIC’s.


Everybody wanted to play Ghost Seeker, and I like it, but why do they call it that? It’s just Hide & Seek in the dark, with a spin on rules. There are 2 seekers & the winner becomes a demon, which means if they get found then they have to be tagged to be out. And the winner can choose 2 seekers. It’s really fun. And there’s a jail, which is the demon’s safety. And the people hiding are vampires. It’s dumb, but I like it. There’s a version of Capture the Flag, too.


Bjork & I are hiding with Sasha Lanquest, Marcia Jones, Alley Anderson, Michelle Rell, Keanna Kurt (my friend who went with us to Au Bon Pain who is ghetto, loud, phony, black bowl cut thing going on, blotchy brown skin) & Cleo Edgar. There are some 10th grade boys I’m not friends with, so I don’t know their names. Parish is here! I gotta get it together, I mean, he’s hotter than Janetta’s half cousin, Lorenzo (hot Italiano, ay aye!). I wonder what will happen. He’s a seeker with that hoe, Alejandra Andre. Oh, I hear her heels clapping. They sound cheap, but I should turn off my penlight.



Take off shoes if I become a seeker

© 2010 V. Germanotta

Author's Note

V. Germanotta
Thanks for reading. Please give me constructive Criticism

My Review

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Well, Your story has a set tone that lets you get away with giving a lot of cheap exposition, which is ok, but i think you milked it a bit too much. Try and have a little more show, and a little less tell. The format is interesting, and the story itself is otherwise well written, but not to my personal taste. But thats not really your problem, its mine. What IS your problem is that your target audience is pretty small, and thats a super great way to NOT make a name for yourself. But hey, what do i know anyway; you just keep up the good work.

Posted 6 Years Ago

I like it , just try to get it interesting right from the beginning or else people wont read it till the end.

Posted 9 Years Ago

I love your begining, its captivate, but hosnestly the begining og the story was rough but still its good keep it up

Posted 10 Years Ago

Good story, though it is LONG halfway though the thing!!! Though dnt we all have our Parish? I know I do. ;)

Posted 10 Years Ago

I like the story, but it isn't hooking me that well until the middle/end, and if you don't hook them RIGHT IN THE BEGGING they won't stay to the end. Other then that, it is very good.

Posted 11 Years Ago

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5 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on January 16, 2010
Last Updated on January 17, 2010
Tags: Danica, Dani, Manhattan, China Town, Per Se, Not, So, Fabulous, Life, wealthy


V. Germanotta
V. Germanotta

Germantown, MD

I'm a young but serious writer. I would really love critique on my work because I want to publish it. I'm really trying to improve :D more..