In My Dream

In my dream

I walk alone

Surrounded by people

But always alone

In my dream

I have to listen to things I can't stand hearing

Forced to smile the whole time

I can't afford to show the pain it brings me

In my dream

I am afraid

Terrified of everything imaginable

From sudden changes

To simply being alone in the dark

In my dream

I long to just be held

To hide in someone's arms

Knowing that I am safe and wanted

But in my dream

I am worthless

Used and cast aside

As soon as I'm no longer convenient

And in my dream

I hate myself

I feel weak and pathetic

In my dream

I dusgust myself

In my dream

I go numb to protect myself

I hide away from the world and its horrors

And no one ever notices

In my dream

I rely on no one

But everyone relies on me

In my dream

I trust no one

Because I know they're probably lying

Just like everyone else

In my dream

I long to wake up

Then I realize

I was never asleep