MOTHER'S MAGIC MEDICINE

A cure for all known ills...

When I was a little kid,

If I wasn’t feeling well,

My mother made a potion

That gave off an awful smell.

I don’t know what ingredients

She used to put in it,

But after just one spoonful,

I would soon be fighting fit!

  

It healed my gran’s lumbago,

And my grandad’s dodgy hip,

It got rid of Dad’s headache,

And he only had a sip.

It eased my brother’s acne,

And his tendency to blush,

It cured my sister’s stutter,

And a nasty case of thrush.

 

It wasn’t just a medicine,

It shifted stubborn stains,

Annihilated woodworm,

And it even unblocked drains!

She kept it in a lead lined flask,

I know that might sound drastic,

But when she used a pop bottle,

It melted through the plastic!

 

I wish my mother was still here,

To make some of her potion.

I’d have a go myself,

But I just haven’t got a notion.

I wish I had the recipe,

It could bring untold wealth,

Or failing that, I wish they did it

On the National Health.

Author's Note

If you enjoyed this poem, why not check out my new book entitled, ‘Things Can Only Get Verse' - a collection of humorous poems on a variety of subjects, including: social network addiction, self-service checkout machines, having a hangover, internet dating, dieting, online auctions, getting older, and more. Available on Amazon for only £4.00/$6.00. Life is more fun when it rhymes!

Reviews

[JoeM]

It reminded me of granma's lye soap.
If you haven't heard Johnny Standly doing his 'In the book,' do, do, do. Check out youtube Go for the audio version, the one showing the 'Capitol' record. Make sure you don't wake the baby.

[Viv Wade]

My baby is 19, and it takes an explosion to wake her up! :) I checked out Johnny Standly - funny stuff! Reminded me of Lily the Pink by The Scaffold - it's on Youtube if you haven't heard it. That song was a big inspiration for this poem. My main inspiration for writing funny poetry is the English poet Pam Ayres - she's also on Youtube if you want to check her out.

[JoeM]

I'm very familiar with Pam. In fact, in our local 'op' shop, - charity shop to you guys - we have a charming English woman that sounds exactly like her.I'll check ou the ..'scaffold' after I've clicked thiss post.

[JoeM]

Smashing! You could get quite addictive.

[Viv Wade]

Thanks, Joe. Glad you enjoyed it!

[Samuel Dickens]

Are you sure it wasn't something fermented and distilled? If you can figure out that recipe, please send me a bottle! Funny stuff, my friend.

[Viv Wade]

Yes, I could do with some myself - I don't know whether I'd drink it, or rub it on all over! The medicine I take now does tend to be fermented and distilled...