(26) Under The Oak Tree

Two lovers promised each other
Soon they would be apart from one another
Promised no matter how long they were apart
Promised to meet and keep each others heart

Five years have now passed by
He hopes the promise will never be a lie
He is waiting, always waiting patiently
He waits for her under the oak tree

Each year he returns here every time
Remembering a love in its prime
Maybe this year she will be here
Maybe this year she will be near

An old man sits alone, dreaming of the past
An old man wishing that love could last
A promise was made, he still waits patiently
Every year you can find him under the oak tree




copyright Chris Smith 2006

Reviews

[iamkim]

Oh my gosh! This is definitely going to be in my favorites! I love it! I really do! From the beginning till the end, the strong feeling I have felt never fades. I could read it a million times :) It is so heartfelt, genuine emotions! Oh how love can make us wait for a lifetime...amazing!

[fargone]

a lovely, tho sad story. such a special love and it seems it was inrequited. that's life i guess. great poem, chris.

[White Ink]

How sad.. not only that his love never showed up, but the fact that men like him are just rarely found.

[LA Lorena]

I love the sentiment and the story in this Chris. That idea of unending, undying love and devotion, of keeping promises made. Those are thoughts to inspire poetry!

To be honest though, for me, the rhyme scheme feels a little forced at times, and there is just not a natural flow overall. I think this shows tremendous promise, but I would like to see it polished up a bit. Do you read your finished poetry aloud to yourself? I find it very helpful to do this repeatedly, to check the rhyme and flow of things.

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

It's very sweet to see such devoted love, such longing and melancholy mixed in with the shards of hope.

[Lily Mae]

Such a sad story. To know that their dreams passed them by.. What a great write Chris.. x