I am so blue

 

 

 

I am so blue,

Yet I have no clue.

Oh' why I’ve lost you?

 

Perhaps the reason was you or me

Or we’re just not meant to be.

 

Times spent raised big question “?”

Expectations bring too many unexpected intentions.

 

I’ve lost something I cared for

Now I lay on the ground, a sleeping contour

Not minding the dirtiness of the dirt & hard rocks

   penetrating my skin as if it’s a comfortable bed flocks.

 

The pillow case of pretention is keeping me at bay

   grounded as if I am okay.

Yet I know deep inside, knew how I missed you,

   making my life a bluish hue.

Author's Note

Credits to the photo:
dream catcher

Reviews

[Cryingkate]

Pax.. I felt a deeper significance was underlying beneath your words and expression of blues so, i went and googled the meaning of the color blue and here is what I found.. I don't think it is coincidence that on Christmas Eve you deeply saw blue and esp. After your last poem.
Check it out ! http://crystal-cure.com/blue.html
it said :
"Blue is the coolest color - the color of the sky, ocean, sleep, twilight. The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli to represent heaven. Blue symbolizes the Virgin Mary. A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. Blue is often the chosen color by conservative people. Blue is the calming color. That makes it a wonderful color to use in the home, especially for babies. Blue is so soothing that is a good choice for pajamas. Dark blue is the color of truth and moderation. A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Wednesday's color is blue. Blue gemstones to wear to feel calm are blue sapphire and blue topaz. Lapis lazuli and azurite are said to heighten psychic power.

Blue Energy

Blue gives a feeling of distance. Artists use it to to show perspective. This is a good way to understand the energy of the color blue - it allows us to look beyond and increase our perspective outward. It contains a cool vibration that is helpful to communication.

The vibration if blue can be used to open energy flow where it is blocked. Using blue to relax will encourage feelings of communication and peace."

I believe that we each tune into thoughts and realities of our own paths and understanding. It may not be reality for some as is with others. But it seems your blue and Christmas have a connection that you are tuned with at this moment. Neat....

[Pax]

I keep reading and reading the information you find, and I still find the connection of who I am and why blue has a great significant effect on my current life.

Do you know that I love the sky when it's blue, Do you know as an artist I like to used blue or anything I paint blue plays a significant part aside from green – and this two plays a huge part on the color system, perhaps because they are one of the primary colors. Do you know that I apply to my life the golden rule of balance and moderation, though I may not achieved everything in balance but I do try my best. Smiles, that’s all.

When I wrote this piece and the empty canvas, the time difference is just two or one day. The first line of this piece, on which it started it all. “I am so blue” - that is true… I can’t open any more details other than that. That is one reason that I feel so tired sometimes even though I am not so tired at all. Sometimes I just wanted to dream, or just fade away to nothingness… But like I always said to myself, I will not give up.

Thank you so much for this values information you’ve search. And Marie is right, it fits me well. I really, really appreciate this my friend.

[Cryingkate]

Pax, I was so grateful when I saw Marie's reply.. i didn't realize till after reading everything that I sort of left a big package of nuts and bolts ,at the door without any instructions.
But yes.. I feel she is right. I don't know what made me look it up but I have learned to listen to those little nudges.
I felt even better after Marie's reply. Evidently ,she feels it too.
There must be something good going to happen and maybe everything is pointing to tell you that. Maybe it's saying to be at rest? I don't know. I just know that all will be well.
And I think your writing will point the way.
Well.. I don't know if it is OK where you are to wish you this night the custom saying so I will just say Happy Merry Holidays :-)

[Pax]

Thank you much!

[Awakened Rose]

One of my favorite lines was, "The pillow case of pretention is keeping me at bay
grounded as if I am okay."

I enjoyed reading this piece very much! Thank you for sharing :)

[Pax]

Thank you Rose... I am glad you enjoyed this piece... :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

This just keep on giving...
the fall after --- ask questions...
yet the perspective of the matter...
rings true in the words...
the picture and theme is felt...

[BlackRose]

Looove this very much. It's hurtful when someone you love is maybe never to return. Those lonely days and nights hoping the soon will and still sometimes. Recollect in the mind of the love once shared.

[kylecotton763]

I love this piece. I can really connect to it. Your writing is amazing :D

[Pax]

Thank you, kyle, glad you liked it...

[Tennessee]

Your picture relates so well with your poem, it really adds to the piece. The very beginning made me smile. I find it all well written as I think it captured the emotions well. The rhymes worked well together and I think added something to the piece. Not bad kid.

[Pax]

thank you again, Ten, I so appreciate your kindness... :)

[Tai Ryens]

A simple poem about missing someone coupled with the occasional line of complexity, especially near the ending of the piece. I generally like the neutral stance of your perspective, you aren't quite in tune with your character, but rather narrating the emotions as if it were a book . . . That, I feel, makes the poetic strength of the blues even stronger: as in, they might've disoriented you, hence the neutrality . . . Well done.

[Pax]

Tai, my friend. I am so glad and good to see you visit, thank you always for that. You've seen a big part of the piece, I appreciate that very much.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Missing one that you love can really put a damper on life. It hovers like a gray cloud, raining down on your soul, until everything around you seems a hapless shade of blue. I love the photograph chosen to go with this piece, particularly poignant as it makes me think of all the soldiers away from their loved ones. I'm sure they often find themselves thinking and feeling the same.

Well done.

[Pax]

Thank you, ms. Linda... its a sad feeling, most of the time I think, its for the best, for their sake and mine. I really appreciate your view so much.

[Frieda P]

Blue seems to be the color of the season...losing someone without reason or justification just adds to that hue. Bittersweet Pax, you raise many questions we all do when faced with this rejection, I can relate. Nicely pen'd my friend.

[Pax]

dear friend, I so appreciate this... thank you so much... :)

[Frieda P]

Always Pax, I've live 'blue' before too, it's not a pretty color when you're in pain. :-)

[Pax]

the homesickness makes the loneliness worst sometimes... so i guess its a bit messy feeling. Sometimes a thought comes, where is that free hugs when you need one.

[Frieda P]

Plenty of squishy free hugs coming your way, not the same as family, but it's the best I can do. xo

[Pax]

the squishy hugs feel really nice, i feel glad with it, and warm in the cold winter. hugs back... sigh... thanks dear friend.

[Great Aunt Astri]

A heart felt deep poem to which I could relate ... well said!

[Pax]

hey my friend, thank you so much for your warm review..

[Odysseus Wanders]

"Expectations bring too many unexpected intentions." Damn, do they ever.
Its said that the language of Loss is sacred. Your poem carries this well.
Thanks you for your sensitive and reflective thoughts.

[Pax]

Thank you mr. Terry. I really appreciate your insights.