afraid to drown

afraid to drown

A Poem by Pax
"

............. a type of monologues i guess....

"


Afraid to drown

 

I bathe in milk

The Ripples along the water are as fine as silk

NO! This is not something I fancy

In life, sometimes you just want to try

In the end we just have to stop the stupid lie.

To live or die

To breathe or just drown

Seems everybody wears a crown

NO! I lost mine a long time ago.

Perhaps temporary is all I could have, so I dare go…

Grab what’s on hand

Never expecting high demand

Then I get lost, soaked

And a little broke

To start a new beginning

Is still out of reach, I’m screeching…

Not in pain but in the cloud that blocks the way

Wishing the fear will stay at bay

Never reaching my awful screeching

Oh CHOICES! I wish I ACTED ON YOU differently

NOT fearing disappointing those who support me.

But hey! What is done cannot be undone

I stand in what I’ve chosen, I never run…

I tried my best to stop my mouth

From reasoning-in or reasoning-out

For your choice is your own responsibility

So I stop blaming others for my problematic probability

I bathe again, in warm water this time

Hoping to wash away the disease that struck me

Faults of my own neglect

Laziness and Tiresome - and its ripple effects

Now I fear I’ll drown…

 

© 2015 Pax


Author's Note

Pax
a special thanks to Gabrielle for her ice buko(coconut)... :)

a special credit to the picture chosen to the ever inspiring photographer:
manuelestheim


and lastly thanks for reading...

My Review

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Featured Review

“I bathe in milk.” –In my province, only the well-off could afford the luxury of literally and figuratively bathing in milk. In this piece, it appears that the poetic voice is not grateful or appreciative of what he has. I was wondering what made him to feel that way. Perhaps, the piece wants to convey that having luxury does not truly guarantee happiness and peace of mind.

“Seems everybody wears a crown. No! I lost mine a long time ago”- I cannot help but recall the rant-poem you penned not so long ago about losing the crowning glory (lol). But of course, “crown” in this piece may mean something that made us proud, which was lost over the years. How the “crown” was lost? The succeeding lines imply that it was his own fault.

“Grab what’s on hand, never expecting high demand”- This line made me think of negotiation. When we feel that we have nothing valuable to offer, chances are we no longer negotiate. We just accept any offer. However, if we only knew that we have so much to offer, that we deserve better, we simply don’t grab any opportunity- we only grab the best opportunity. I think that it is necessary for us to keep on innovating/improving ourselves so that we maintain our confidence.

“To start a new beginning/is still out f reach”- I feel you. One of the hardest decisions to make (at least to me) is to get out of our comfort zones. It’s never easy to start something new as we could never be certain of the result. I think that our apprehension to start something new (in relationship, in career, etc..) originates from our fear of failing.

“Faults of my own neglect/laziness and tiresome and its ripple effect”- Aw! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Never second guess the result of the choice you never made as it will incapacitate us to move on and will blur our vision to see the lessons derived from our decisions.

P.S. Baka gusto mo ng chocolate flavored ice candy. Lol. Baka ang next piece mo will start as, “ I clothe myself in dirt (kulay chocolate yun di ba?) or I drowned myself in caffeine..hehehe. Glad to read from you again :) :)


Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Pax

4 Years Ago

wow!

very thorough, sharp and amazing... thanks Gab...
here is my response:read more



Reviews

Such a vivid write that flows so nice together, can feel each one as the words go into my head. Love this one ;-]

Posted 4 Months Ago


The poet is in a deeply retrospective mood. Not a little sombre and regretful of the choices he made in life, the consequences of some of which do not seem to have turned out favorably, demoralizing him. Though physically & materially comfortable, he expresses the internal doubts and discomfort very eloquently. To him, others seem to be triumphant in the choices they made. I would tell him that self doubt is a common by product of a sensitive, thinking soul and the grass always seems greener on the other side. Strangely, I need to tell myself this only too often. Appreciated very much...

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

In the ancient convention of drama introduced by Euripides, monologue explains the situation and characters with which the action begins...and this has an athomosphere of such... and I can even imagine the delimna of the tripartite of your mind...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"For your choice is your own responsibility
So I stop blaming others for my problematic probability
I bathe again, in warm water this time"

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Grab what’s on hand
Never expecting high demand
Then I get lost, soaked
And a little broke
To start a new beginning"

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wicked good poem, Pax. This has so much feeling and power behind the words. I love the part about crowns. I am glad I chose to check in on your writing. Hope you keep em coming!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I heard The screams, I felt the agony, I experienced the fears in your powerful words. Sometimes we have to drown and know the depths of the abyss before we can muster some faith and power to rise again. Sometimes we might have to go with the flow for survival. But those who conquer adversities have willed and learned to pay the heavy prices and costs. I love to drown in poetry and art as this poem on par....Excellent, my brother and friend. ........:).......

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"I tried my best to stop my mouth
From reasoning-in or reasoning-out"
This is a fierce, yet thoughtful exploration of inner turmoil and its effects. It reads in a way like an exploded expletive, like cursing or damning the flaws and fragility of the mind. A kind of stream of consciousness in a way, but one which adorns an element of clarity which streams through the writing, reaching out to the reader in its wrangling.
I cited those two lines at the beginning of this review to exemplify what I am trying to say, and I think they alone do the whole poem justice in meaning and language.
Powerful and raw in honest human feeling and thought; an effusion controlled in poetic shape and translation. I think feeling is the most important part of poetry - the art is to present it well.

NB Should "Tiresome" (penultimate line) be "Tiresomeness" perhaps? or "Tiredness"? I don't know.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well, very deep write my friend. I can see both positivity and negativity of mind.

I accord with Dhaye, photo and font are great!

I wanted to ask, does this poem also reflects your back pain. Lol

Sorry for that. Just wanted to make you laugh and get you out of Melancholia.

Thanks for sharing.

Devanshu



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hey Pax....this is delightful....I feel like buying a shopping trolley full of full cream milk....:)

The hunger for new beginnings runs deep inside our souls
gnawing at corners of our minds we tend to neglect
We need to be thankful for those fears of drowning
Next time we get ankle deep in despair,
we may decide to stop, and not go any further.

Brilliant poetry my friend!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 10, 2015
Last Updated on April 26, 2015
Tags: choices, life, sadness, afraid, drown

Author

Pax
Pax

CDO - the city of golden friendship, Philippines



About
Dear Visitor Hello there! I am Willyam Pax from the Philippines and now residing here in Saudi Arabia for work. I am not a writer but a sensitive aspiring artist who expresses himself into .. more..

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