camp nightmare

camp nightmare

A Story by obvious pseudonym

smoke, fire, heat, choking, rolling out of bed, crawling to the door, bursting out, light, air, i can breathe.  

that's how i woke up this morning. our cabin have missed role call, over slept. at least one cabin is set on fire every morning cause they didn't get up in the alloted 30 seconds. i'm happy i got out.

"mom, mom are you here! MOM!!!"

"i'm here ella i'm ok, have you seen david?"

"i'm right here marla"

"oh thank god" i said "i thought you guys didn't..."

i stand up fully recovered, well not really but you won't get any medical attention around here. where am i exactly? i'm at camp nightmare, it's name says it all. 

    i'm not here by accident none of us are but they won't tell us why were here.  my whole family got transferred.  mom, dad, kim, david, alex, katie and molly. 

were the only ones left now.  me, mom and my step dad david. i better go steal breakfast or we'll go hungry.  the food is first come first serve, not nearly enough to feed all 3,000 of us here, and we slept in.  food is my job mainly cause im the best at sneaking around and stealing.  i hate it but its either my faimly or yours. 

       20 minutes later and i come back with a loaf of bread. only a week old, a rare treat.  it's all gone in five minutes no saving food around here.  ding, ding, ding, ding  four in the morning.  time for school and i better get there fast or lashings again.  30 seconds i arrive at the door panting heavily, here we learn to be a bad person and how crap the world is. then we run and "excersize" for two hours.  class is first and we get report cards today.   i so hope i pass i don't do very well here but i've managed to scrape up some marks, so far.  the teachers coming around almost at me.  the red envelope lands on my desk with a heavy thud.  i snatch it up and rip it open.  the big red letter stares me in the face. 

"no" i whisper "it can't be i can't have, no, no" 

i stand up to run away. the teacher comes over and slings me over his sholder.  im beating his back with my fists


he brings me out back to the pit, full of boiling hot tar.  without a second glance he hefts me up and throws me in. nothing i can do.  i land square in the middle. almost instantly my skin begins to sear. i'm screaming in pain but there is nothing i can do the tar works like glue.  theyll feed to my family to my family now.  it's happened to me before.  my teacher walks away his foot grinding the big red D printed on my report card.  my skin gets redder and redder as my screams stop and the world goes black, and i fall into blissful cold

© 2011 obvious pseudonym

Author's Note

obvious pseudonym
don't judge my grammer please. i based it off this dream i had.

My Review

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Hi, I have just read 'Camp Nightmare.' I notice, at the end you have posted an Author's note requesting readers not to judge your grammar. I think this is a great pitty, because basically the story, although bizarre, is good. But sadly, I find, and this is only my personal opinion,that the spelling, punctuation and grammar, make it very difficult to read.
I don't mean to be crule, but if you're serious about your writing, which you obviously are, then my advice is, to take your time and check for simple errors. Its your craft after all and as such,surely it deserves your best shot!
I hope you find this critisism constructive, because basically you can write. You just have to take a little more care. All the best.

Posted 8 Years Ago

so epic. crazy dream tho. i know a psychiatrist, and i would say she was good, but ive seen her for a year and well.. you can see the results haha i promise im not crazy enough to see a psychiatrist :p

Posted 8 Years Ago

Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about this dream. It was sure messed up, as is this story. In a good way.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Creative dreams, but creeperish dreams nonetheless. Wows. Awesomely written, but wow.

You need to stop smoking that pot and doing that LSD, kiddo. xD

Posted 8 Years Ago


Posted 8 Years Ago

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6 Reviews
Added on September 13, 2011
Last Updated on September 18, 2011


obvious pseudonym
obvious pseudonym

wherever i want, time machine you know, NH

so theres this fancy smancy little about me thingy on here that i have absolutly no idea what to write on sooo im just going to ramble and ramble because thats what i do best..... P.S. if you spam me.. more..