A conscious sleep

The trepidatious path dreams can take on the sleeping mind

For as long as I can remember I have often dreamt of a place,

A place where hours were spent when time did not exist,

A place so beautiful,

A place from so long ago,

A place intended for no one else

A place no longer my home

It was my home,

It was my neverland

A place now visited in my once in a blue moon dreams

A place I left

A place I grieved

This dream has on no occasion ended with anything other than me,

Me walking alone

Alone along a stilted bridge that shallowly imbeds into the edges of either side of the banks that stand high above the parched pond that sits below,  surrounded by lush vegetation,

 A peaceful place,

My peaceful place.

My hand reaches for a brass handle that is firmly attached to a door that has never been touched and a handle that is always just out of reach  

When I wake I often wonder but do not worry.

A place more vivid than the last, more vivid than the truth of my reality 

A place that for a moment is actually believed by me to be real

A place unwillingly entered from somewhere deep within my mind

A place of temporary imprisonment 

Paralyzed in an unconscious body with a conscious mind,

My mind

No one can see me, no one can hear me and no one is awake

I scream from a place, I scream for a place, I scream for anyone

 Just scream

waking to an awful feeling of dread, in the knowledge that there's nothing to dread 

 ambiguity flowing from false emotions

Overwhelmed by damp tears that saturate my swollen face,

shockwaves from a pounding heart that quakes my entire body 

Cold heavy blood pumps though my almost blistering veins,

Harsh words of I hate you and I always will pierce confused silence that echo the walls of my mind as loud as a war cannon

Spoken by a voice I know, 

a voice I love

A voice that would only ever say I love you and I always will

Agonising pain is felt even after I realise I'm awake

Even after I realise it was only a dream

Only a dream.