Baby Velvet Jesus Saved By Rhinestones!

Brain damaged hippie dippy poetry.

Baby Velvet Jesus Saved By Rhinestones!

Ken and Barbie are saved by their accessories!

While, Goldilocks plays with her Ken and Barbie!

Confusing counterfactual, contrarian contradictions!

Never quite certain, whether they are coming or going!

Dreams and nightmares, of vacuous lowbrow slapstick!

Some girls give me diamonds some girls give me cloths!

Ken and Barbie’s dreamhouse is saved with rhinestones!

Kentucky Fried Chickenshit, in her own EasyBake Oven!

The lightbulb can never come on if the door doesn’t open!

Rhinestones Made in America, and imported from China!

Rhinestones are fun but diamonds are a girl’s best friend!

Never to be confused, with any crappy plastic imitations!

Rhinestones can come and go but friends are here to stay!

Rhinestone cowboys get cards and letters from strangers!

Barbie and Ken like it hot! Sizzling rhinestones bedazzle!

Dark shadows of green acres reign over Gilligan’s Island!

Barbie’s rhinestones saved Baby Velvet Jesus from Satan!

What if God was one of us? Would our rents go up again?

Velvet Jesus is my Landlord Shepard and I shall not want,

Yeah though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death,

I shall fear no evil thirdworld cheap knockoff reproductions!

Nor the insidious alien anal probe mindcontrol conspiracy!

Jesus is my landlord, but he won’t fix anything on Sunday!

Betraying anonymity, golden silence follows Velvet Jesus!

Faster than his own bullets, Velvet Elvis left the building!

Heaven and earth alone, know the joys of Velvet Rapture!

The Second Coming is a reminder the gift keeps on giving.

The pearly gates of heaven use only authentic rhinestones!

The future is so bright Velvet Elvis and Jesus wear shades!

Rhinestone Velvet Elvis has the gift of sparkling laughter!

For only $10.oo more Velvet Elvis comes with a laugh box!

Rhinestones fading into the sunset like the western heroes!

Twinkling like the stars upon the Hollywood walk of fame.

Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he's bound for New Orleans!

Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he’s bound for New Orleans!

Hell… Yeah!

Took a jump through Mississippi, Muddy Water turned to wine..
Then out to California, through the burning forests and the pines!
Take me with you Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis has left the building!

You might not see him in person, but he'll see you just the same…

You might never see him in person, but he’ll see you just the same..
You don't have to worry, 'cause takin' care of business is his name!
(ZZ Top)