Cold Island Girl (459 words)

A night in Nome in Winter

I had been in Nome for two days and would be flying out tomorrow morning. The days warmed to -35 degrees, but at night it dropped to -50 degrees. That was before the wind that blew off the frozen ocean ice.

The hotel which was the best in town and about the only hotel in town was the Nugget Inn. You might call it rustic, but that would be a rather nice way of indicating it is not a 5-star hotel. As you might guess activities in this town on the Bering Sea were hard to come by, but like much of Alaska, there is always a watering hole nearby. That's where the action happens every night.

Dinner was done and it was still early so I decided to head down to the Board of Trade Saloon. It's only a couple of blocks from the hotel, but at these temperatures, it might as well have been 5 miles. I stepped in the door and surveyed the crowd for the best seat in the house or maybe the only seat. I am now off the cold streets of Nome with a bottle of Jack Daniels and now maybe some warm company

As I looked across the crowded bar I spotted a young native girl looking for some a place to sit and hopefully a little warmth. Maybe someone to share a drink. I stepped in her path as she passed through the bar, saying excuse me, I'm sorry, let me make it up to you and offer a drink if you have the time. A smile slipped across her lips as she lowered her head and eyes, “I think I have time”.

We found a table near the back with windows half iced over from the cold outside. Lights shining out on the frozen ocean. Ice ridges gave an eerie view. We removed our heavy coats. I was pleasantly surprised to find hidden under layers of protection from the cold, a dark haired goddess with strong features like cut with sharp ice. Soft and smooth dark silken skin with eyes black as night,....with long silken hair.

As we talked and got to know each other I found she was in town from St. Lawrence Island in the Bering Sea. The island sits between the United States and Russia. As we drank our friendship bloomed, soon we were kissing and getting to be better friends.

Before we had lost or senses and before we killed the bottle, we decided to keep each other warm for the night. I suggested we go back to my hotel. We found pleasure together in the warmth that night, not just from the Jack. Even being my cold island girl, I found her very warm.

Author's Note

Most of my work is, what you see is what you get. I am venturing out to see if I can structure something useable. Thanks.

Reviews

[softlyfall]

WOO HOO, second place Willard. Though in my humble opinion, nothing you write is second place.

[Willard Wells]

Well, I feel fortunate to be in the top 20. Stories are not yet in my comfort zone. The words and story come to me, but the structure lacks often. But I am a work in progress and I am doing more stories.

Thank you again for your more than generous words.

[softlyfall]

Any human who is not a work in progress is already dead

[JayceeC]

Willard,
I like that you are branching out into short stories. I only have two suggestions for this. One is that you change from Jack to Jack Daniels in the first mention, for other readers. It's an international drink, but we are very casual vs the rest of the world in how we order and talk about it. The other is that you change Jack to whisky in your second to the last line. It just feels overused, with the two sentences being so close together. I'd also throw it into a word processor and edit for comma usage. There are some spots that would benefit from them like the bar scene.

The story itself is a wonderful venture. It reminds me of the vignettes that Coyote puts on for us to enjoy. It's a peek at experiences that most are not adventurous to seek. It's also a peek into how men reminisce about romantic encounters., and women like that glimpse into the male psyche.

[Willard Wells]

Thank you so much JC. When I wrote it the whiskey issue was in my head, but I failed to consider the world in my final view. I do have punctuation issues and I will give the processor another run.

[JayceeC]

I've added Grammarly onto my Google account and love it because it even works in my posts, which means I make fewer mistakes when I'm in a hurry. Just the free version takes care of the major issues, but it seems to catch things that my editor in Google Drive or Word do not.

[Willard Wells]

I need a different word processor. Not working now I don't have the same applications I have used in the past. I use openoffice now and it is weak compared to MS Office. I want office again, but I don't like the yearly renewal. I will check out your suggestion.

[JayceeC]

I just added mine to Chrome and it checks all text boxes that I write in when I use my browser. So it catches things when I'm submitting them.

[Willard Wells]

Just added it and nice. Thanks for the suggestion.

[JayceeC]

I'm glad it works for you. I like it.

[WillGrant]

I agree, this is a pretty good little story. And although I want to know more I like the length. It doesn't have to be 250 pages to work wonders on the mind. Short and powerful. Could be cleaned up around the edges, but not much. There is still something mystical about Alaska that you don't get anymore in the rest of the states. It feels like Hemingway on the African plains. There is something rough and tough, but also gental about the piece. Enjoyed the read

[Willard Wells]

thank you so much for taking time to review my work. The ruff around the edges is why I have stayed away from stories. Not my comfort zone. I wrote another Nome piece that takes place prior to this one and I am waiting to see how many i do on this topic. Appreciate your words.

[Valentine]

Interesting and draws the reader in. I was waiting for something more. Valentine

[Willard Wells]

Well I just add a couple of stories and one was my first trip to Nome. I expect there will be a number of stories on here in the future. Thanks for the review and kind words.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story shared my friend.
"Before we had lost or senses and before we killed the Jack, we decided to keep each other warm for the night and I suggested we go back to my hotel. We found pleasure together in warmth that night and not just from the Jack. And even being my cold island girl, I found her very warm."
The above line. A perfect place to have known. Thank you Willard for sharing your amazing story.
Coyote

[Willard Wells]

Thank you for your kind words. I am feeling more comfortable so more stories. Again thank you for reviewing my work.

[Coyote Poetry]

I love your story and you are welcome.

[alifeacoustic]

Excellent tale Willard. I especially liked the ending, leaving it to the imagination. The reader can figure it out for themselves what happened. Maybe even continue in a what happened next kinda way.

[Willard Wells]

Thank you so much for your review of this piece. Outside my comfort zone so the reviews mean a bit more. Very glad you enjoyed my little tale.

[A. Amos]

Great read well you left your readers on the edge to know what happen next did you guys stay in contact?

[Willard Wells]

Thank you for your positive words and the story may go on. Just testing the waters for stories. I am comfortable with my poems, but stories I have much more weakness.

[A. Amos]

Just keep writing and I am looking forward to read more...so keep me posted!

[Samuel Dickens]

What a great little story, Will. Having been to that part of the country, I easily imagined the biting cold and what warmth you found. I wasn't lucky enough to find a young dark beauty, but am glad you did, even if the story might be fiction.

[Willard Wells]

Well thank you for visiting and your kind words. The truth of the matter for self preservation, may never be told. LOL. I have more I want to write, but I am still working on staying in the correct person as I write.

Just you alone finding some positive within this makes me want to try another. Thank you so much.