"Waiting, to play with him in his dreams". Although this line sounds, as if the protagonist intends to do something quite nice, it is far more likely that she intends to torment her victim (like a cat playing with a mouse).
There are some quite emotive lines, and it's certainly quite well written. Perhaps, a rhyme scheme would have helped? However, that is not always necessary, for a poem to be effective. There is one emotional moment, when the male victim pleads for the protagonist to leave him alone, "please don't stay with me..." (see verse two).
Interestingly, the hapless victim is portrayed as if he is either awakening from a mere slumber, or returning from the dead. Was this ambiguity intended by the writer, perhaps? Either way, it adds a further sense of terror or dread to this piece.
There is one error, where a word is missing from one of the lines. After the word "lurking", "in" should be inserted. "Lurking" is a verb. Also, "gentley" should be spelt as "gently" in the same verse. In theme, this piece is atmospheric, dark, tense and reminds me a little of Edgar Allan Poe's morbid (and brilliant) writing. And, as suggested by the title, "haunting"....
name: alanna faith date of birth: october twenty-third; 94' years: fourteen yrs. i live for my poetry, and my poetry basically is my life most people say my poetry is a little emo, but it's no.. more..