Fish Thoughts

I asked my friend one day to give me a topic to write about. He said, "fish" So here is what I came up with:

I am lucky

They always told me

I can sleep with my eyes open

But what is the use of that?

Humans have hands to eat with

Now that's something I'd like to have

Ahh yes, but I have gills

They always told me

I can breathe under water

But how is that different from them?

I always thought

They can breathe in oxygen 

and I cannot

Yes, but you are the smartest of your kind

They always told me

A great memory of 5 seconds

But humans are smarter no doubt

They have a memory of--

Wait, what was I talking about?

Reviews

[Wuji]

What a unique concept for a poem! Very neat.

[nyi]

nice one...like the ending...and interesting read indeed

[Beccy]

Loved the wit in this.

Beccy

[Sami Khalil]

They always told me
I can breathe under water.
A nice write.

[Erinne S.]

I loved the cute, witty humor in this! Definitely gave me a laugh for the day and I really enjoyed the read. You did well with this :)

~Erinne

[Erica Marie]

Thank you for your kind review! :)

[Erinne S.]

You are very welcome :)

[Damien Davison]

If only fish were capable of such complex thoughts!
I did like the 4th stanza, it was actually pretty funny to think about, though all are good points. Interesting write, if fish could think like so, heheh.

[Ikai27]

:3 Fish? Why not? :D Gave me some giggles .

[Geon Quuin]

This is a very straightforward poem. I kind of don't like it. It's quite witty, I'll give you that. The diction is simple. Plain. Nevertheless, good job. I don't think this is really about a fish though. Sure, the point of view is of the fish; however, if you think about it for a second, the tone of the fish is not that succinct to what the fish is actually thinking about. On the first and third stanzas, he's quite grateful for what the fish has. The second, fourth, fifth, and second stanzas on the other hand are all over the place. I'm not trying to "hate" or "troll" or whatever denigrative term you may think of. I'm just trying to speak my mind about this specific poem. You are freely to do so on my entries as well.

In conclusion: Somewhat witty. Simple diction. Very straightforward. but lack any direction.
Overall, a decent poem, at best.

[Erica Marie]

Thank you for your review. I do agree with you on some points that the diction is simple. But I feel that fish are very simple creatures and shouldn't really have a massive vocabulary. It was just a fun, quick write I did one day. Nothing serious and definitely not my best, obviously! But I respect your opinion so thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is funny and true...we are supposed to be the ones who are smart, who can use reason and that makes us different from other species...but are we that smart.

i like how the fish is jealous but comes to a realization that humans might not be so much better off.

i like the perspective used here.

you are talented..

jacob