May

May, I hate it. I wish for this month to pass soon in a snap. This month always seem so dull.
I wish for the days to pass. It isn't easy, to find a spark. Love? I think this month would be
the worst for me. The summer approaches, but I'm fine with it. May, may has memories for
me. Stricken with the past is this month. People tell me to move on, but this is the month
where ever tingle of your skin lingers on me. I can't wash them off, this is where everything
about you is reminded. I can't cry because I know if this weak side is shown to the world,
my world would collapse. These wall I build up, layer by layer, just to strengthen myself.
Maybe it was a good thing? These wall made me stronger or is it that I'm afraid for this pain
to continue? Yet, why is it that I'm losing myself to some distant impossible dream? What is
it that I am waiting for? Must I turn my head to the other direction to be reminded? Or
shall I press on and act as if nothing existed? Some people say I'm weak like that, but
all those wall I've build up, if I were to suddenly put them all down, will you approach
me or would you turn the other check and everything would seem the same as if it was?
May because of you these question stir in my head because I know the lost is coming soon.
I will lose a lot, but what is remained probably won't be my expectations. My jealousy rages
knowing what to expect, I wish to lose weight, even though everybody says I'm fine, I don't
think so when I see a girl weighing lower then me and my relatives reminding me. May, I just
dislike it. Summer approaches soon, what am I going to wear? May stirs my thought process,
but how much memories am I going to leave behind, just for a new adventure.