In Silence

In Silence

by

Jose M. Euvin

 

 

Sleeping in silence

Screaming inside

 

Wish you could hear me

So

I can open my eyes

 

The cups are filled

With tears I shed

 

Scream of depression

While lying in bed

 

The night is immense

And

Sour are the tears

 

The silence amends

The worst of my fears

 

Can one really live

When life is a dream

 

Can I really expect

For you to hear my screams

 

The heart's really silent

When there's nothing left

 

It's hard to feel anything

With the calling of death

 

Reviews

[Querida]

The sheer emotion in this piece is what strikes me as the most inviting. You can nearly feel and hear this girl as she screams for release. Your flow is amazing, if a teensy bilt stilted. Personally, I believe this enhances the read. How can one create amazing, smooth rhythms when life itself does not work that way?

I truly found beauty in this pice of art.

[Dead Angel]

i like the flow of this poem, you hardly get the flow down with your poems but with this one you nailed it. very creative and the words were just depressing, which is a good thing because you captured the theme of the poem wonderfully. great job! :)

[Stacy A. Foster]

I like this, it flows well. My only suggestion is to re-word some of the "really" words which are repeated throughout. I enjoyed this stanza:

The night is immense
And
Sour are the tears

Thanks for sharing this!
Stacy :)

[Donald Meikle]

A lot said sadly here, obviously you're down. Get up. I'd like to read you happy.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

an emotionally wrenching piece - so beautifully written -- your pain shows through --

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is an excellent write, sad and heart wrenching. The rhyme and flow are well suited to the short tight lines of the piece. Still The sadiness is overwhelming and very powerful. Great job.







This is an excellent write, sad and overwhelmingly moving piece. The rhyme and flow are wonderful and
well suited to the piece. Simply wonderful write.
Debby

[Natalie C]

wow your work seems to get more and more intense, which is good for me, because I always love a good read, however, I am wondering if it is good for you? I tend to agree with James, most of us here have used our writing as a coping mechanisim in some stage of our lives and yes, it is supposed to be all part of the healing process. I am just hoping that it is doing the same for you...

It's hard to feel anything
With the calling of death ...

This was so great and I loved the Silence in bold and bigger front. I found it actually ironic, specially because it comes across as a scream - yet it isn't - it is silence (if that makes any sense)
Great thinking with that

*Hugs* Please look after yourself.

[desertraven]

I believe James said it best. Well done. Well written.
Thank you for sharing!
Sandra♥

[James Mayfield]

I have seriously enjoyed every one of the pieces that you have sent to me. They have all been very well written and full of complex imagery. I can only say this, coming from an experience that your writing indicates. You have to use these writings as therapy. If you don't you will destroy yourself. I've used multiple works as therapy that failed and nearly ended my life in response to a horrendous breakup. Please take care of yourself.

[Sassafrass]

This was very beautifully constructed and eloquent in it's apeal to be heard. I have no criticisms. A first, I'm sure...Thank you for sharing.

[PoemRodent]

I too have been here and visit often. A sad but dreary place of existance. Only to face another day and hope dreams don't come to me in the night. A good write.

Love and Thoughts,

Dostani