Free Fall

Free Fall

By

Jose M. Euvin

 

I’m screaming my heart out

Yet you can’t see

I’m dying without you

Please come back to me

 

All the time that I lost

How long will it last

Before it gets worse

Reminiscing the past

 

As time goes on

I start to look back

It’s time to move on

And get back on track

 

I lost all desires

But whose there to blame

The mirror don’t lie

It reflects all my shame!

 

Desires are lost

Decisions are not

Freedom is granted

And lost in a flash

 

Suicidal tendencies

Disturbing my life

Before me is a cliff

Should I take the dive?

 

I take one last breath

And make my decision

Here comes the fall

The end of my mission!

 

Reviews

[*** Hey Jude***]

The pain of losing a loved one can be paralizing. I like the way you have expressed these intense emotions in poem! ~ N

[Roy]

very good writing! stark powerful raw emotions delivered clearly and in good rhyme.

[Girl]

I like the way this piece flows. Its very deep, and hits all too close to home. Very nicely written.

[Lydia Shutter]

Profoundly disturbing emotional write filled with palpable longing for a love lost. I hope writing is a bit of a catharsis for you. It seems darkness is enveloping each word here. One small typo - "But whose there to blame" should say "but who's to blame?" The short lines of your poem flow well. Lydia

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is a well written piece but in truth you must understand this is a little Dark for my taste. Not to take
anything away from you it is a great piece, with a good flow and rhyme. I just isn't my taste.
Debby

[desertraven]

good piece, but, I think you need to stop giving her free rent in your head!
Sandra♥

[Tempest]

There is a wonderful sense of build up in reading this - I was urged forward like running to an end. I think it works very well with this poem in particular. I would never disclude how you feel but I don't see a reason for concern if your writing centers around some touchy subjects. I think that death and sorrow are a very real and vivid part of life and you capture this well in your writing.

[Crystal]

This is a good write and portrays your emotions well.

[~ Tex]

Life's worse tragedies... love, war, loss, death... are never gone, but they do fade. Our mind is a highway system of neural networks and the way we forget or fade the memories is to strengthen other pathways and write over top of the old ones... it's much like a computer - deleted files are always there, underneath the data. Unless you use a DoD level shredder, you can always retrieve the "deleted" files.

Alzheimer's is an interesting disease in that it strips those neural pathways in reverse... uncovering everything that we've not shredded. Shred the parts that hurt; remember the parts that don't; grow from the whole experience... learn, love, and most importantly, LIVE!

Writing is the best release and living is the best revenge. As Mr. Spock would say, "Live long and prosper."

Nice write. Good expression. You convey your emotions and readers can and do identify with your experience.

[Gordon Greene]

The last fall...

Interesting work with great rhyming scheme. Desperation seems to follow breakups and this follows the emotions well.

Gordon

[Helen Woodward]

I'm assuming this is at least based on fact and in doing so I find it very disturbing, though well-written. You are in a dark place and need to change your thought patterns from negative to positive...can you do that? Of course you can, with a little effort everything is possible! You write coherently and with feeling, I suggest you turn your gift into something magical rather than depressing your reader because that is what's happening here. (I mean this with sincerity) I'm giving you a challenge to write something beautiful and send it to me....take it on, what have you got to lose??? I'll be looking out for it...
whose (who's)
Helen :)