Chapter 2 And so the journey begins

Chapter 2 And so the journey begins

A Chapter by yuriko

So I arrived at the bookstore at 08:30 just in time to see the owner busy opening up the store. But his back was turned to me so I couldn't get to see his face. I watched him for a while and thought to myself he doesn't look that old to me. Not entirely what I expected. I thought he was going to be short, bald and grey and a slow walking kind of an old timer. But no, he's medium build and looks strong. And he's got all of his hair and looks very energetic for a person his age.

I started thinking why does he need my help he looks very capable of doing thing's for himself. But at that moment he suddenly turns around and faces me and says.

"Arigatou" (Hello)
Eep!!! Is the only sound I make as a response. I was a bit startled to say the least. I didn't expect that.
"Hi .... I...... Hum ....."
"Nani" (What?)
"Oh! hee hee hee" I laughed nervously.
"Good Morning. Mr. Haiku. My name is Lilliana Lucan. I came for the job interview. You called yesterday afternoon and said I must come in and see you this morning."
"Oooh Gomeinsai (Sorry) Lilly‐San, sorry for the inconvenience. Come inside and drink some tea first.You must be getting cold standing there."
"Oh. Thank you"

So Mr. Haiku led me into his little store into the kitchen which was in the back and made us some tea.While I was waiting I looked around. And saw many Japanese art and paintings, scrolls, some were hanging on the walls with Japanese sayings on it. The paintings looked beautiful I love art and design and the Japanese culture have the most interesting art and creative designs.

While I was admiring his store Mr. Haiku was already finished with our tea. And for a second time that morning he had to pull me out of my wondering state of mind.
"Lily‐San, I see that you are admiring my collection. You have a very good sense of curiosity, at least I know you will do good work by the keen interest that you have shown." Mr. Haiku said with a beaming sense of pride on bus face.
I couldn't help but blush and feel a little embarrassed.

"Sorry Mr. Haiku"
"No worries, Lily ‐San here is your tea and let us get started"

So the interview went on by him asking me questions like do I have transport, experience, why I applied etc. By the end I didn't even feel nervous anymore. Mr. Haiku was very impressed by my overly enthusiastic interests in arts and crafts. I studied Art and Design and Graphic Design in College.

I have the knowledge but not the experience but he said that I was overqualified, and I said I needed the job to pay my bills and he needed someone to maintain his store. So he decided that the job was mine. He showed me around and what my duties are going to be. Like doing orders, keeping the shelves stocked, helping customers etc.
And most important handling the computer with the cash register. He said that he and the box aka the computer didn't get along. At the end he said I should stay a little longer so that I could get a feel of how things worked.

So that's how my first day of my new job went. Little did I know that was just the first event of the new journey my life would take.


© 2016 yuriko


Author's Note

yuriko
Was my description of the store okay or should I add more? What do think of the new character? Is my Japanese okay? Any feedback is welcome.

My Review

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Featured Review

There are several points I can make here.

The Japanese you use is wrong. "Arigatou" means thank you. Hello can be said in several form but since is morning, it should be "Ohayou". If the Old man is being formal, it will have "Gozaimasu" at the end. Also, since that is a store, it will most likely have it added. Also, It's "Gomenasai" not "Gomeinsai".

For the story, it is great but there are a lot of missing punctuation. There are a few run-on sentence as well. It is a mouth full when I read them.

For the chapter as a whole, it is short. You can talk about her way to the store, the the computer, and what happen after Haiku tell her to stay a little longer. The chapter ended a bit too fast.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yuriko

8 Years Ago

Thanks Eisho! I wasn't sure about the Japanese terms that I'd use hear but I did some research but .. read more



Reviews

Your description was spot on. It was just enough but not too much. I do think that you need some more filler for your paragraphs to make it a tad longer but that might just be my preference. I don't know any Japanese so I can't comment on that other than that I will say that I really enjoyed your story.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I mostly agree with Eisho Shu, you need to improve your Japanese a bit. Arigatou does mean thank you.
You also need to check your sentences over more because you seem to have over used "and" :)
Your sentences also need to flow a little better. Its good to be descriptive but make sure your not over doing it. No offence but it seems to read more like a list.

Is "bus face" a mistake? I have never heard of this lol if not, please explain to the reader in some way as more people may get confused.

Other than that, you have done a good job. The character Mr. Haiku will be a good character to develop as he seems interesting. Keep up the great work :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yuriko

8 Years Ago

"bus face" must be his face the Word program auto correct that or my beta reader made a mistake I d.. read more
Violet Stone

8 Years Ago

Ahh right, the struggles of auto correct lol and no need to apologise, easy mistake to make :)
.. read more
yuriko

8 Years Ago

Thanks Violet :)
There are several points I can make here.

The Japanese you use is wrong. "Arigatou" means thank you. Hello can be said in several form but since is morning, it should be "Ohayou". If the Old man is being formal, it will have "Gozaimasu" at the end. Also, since that is a store, it will most likely have it added. Also, It's "Gomenasai" not "Gomeinsai".

For the story, it is great but there are a lot of missing punctuation. There are a few run-on sentence as well. It is a mouth full when I read them.

For the chapter as a whole, it is short. You can talk about her way to the store, the the computer, and what happen after Haiku tell her to stay a little longer. The chapter ended a bit too fast.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yuriko

8 Years Ago

Thanks Eisho! I wasn't sure about the Japanese terms that I'd use hear but I did some research but .. read more

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Added on February 19, 2016
Last Updated on February 19, 2016
Tags: Fantasy, Romance, Humour


Author

yuriko
yuriko

FL



About
Hello Everyone i just love being creative. love writing and reading stories. I will write more about myself in the future more..

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