One Last Breath

One Last Breath

A Poem by Hello, Goodbye
"

...one last breath as death takes life's place..

"
A stranger walks in the night. 
Up to me, pulls out a knife. 

Before my mind streams a light. 
Before my heart a flash of life. 

Against a wall (sadly) I am trapped. 
The knife is penetrated inside of my fleeing back. 

A scream of terror escapes my mouth. 
Life giving death all of its clout. 

Pain that is impossible to believe. 
But not the blood running down my sleeve. 

I turn and stare at a strangers face. 
A blank expression that is not fazed. 

He then uses his knife in creative ways. 
Making sure that I will have no more days. 

My cries are muffled by its laughter. 
Stabbing deep.. faster and faster. 

My body, it now starts to tremble. 
A horrific pain inside of my temple. 

The lungs in my chest, no longer move. 
The beats of my heart, they take their last cue. 

Into my head, my eyes roll back. 
Darkness then... starts to attack. 

In a sudden shock, my eyes open wide. 
I now see a turning fan, up high. 

All around, light now starts to stream. 
Its not heaven. 

It was all a dream. 
- DD

© 2010 Hello, Goodbye


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Reviews

This is really good very good imagry

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like the gruesomeness mixed in with the joyful simplicity of two line rhymes, it has a very interesting almost hypnotic effect which ties in wonderfully in the end. Really well crafted.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Intensely searing in its quality. A dream to the 'enth degree...where waking and sleeping are confused. Reality? Or not? Excellent!

Posted 12 Years Ago


An intense dark write.. I really like it..xx

Posted 12 Years Ago


breathtaking... it was vivid and so real. almost as if every word popped out of the sentence... one of my personal favorites. great work!

Posted 12 Years Ago


wow, this felt so real as I was reading it. I love the ending

Posted 12 Years Ago


I was gonna say...man that would suck on ice!!!!! Nice down hill roll on this one, frightening to even think about. Loved it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your work is vivid and the images invoke a deep sense of thought, mystery and danger. With each line, I was pulled more and more into the story until finally "I was all a dream" Amazing work!

Posted 12 Years Ago



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2176 Views
74 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on September 16, 2010
Last Updated on September 16, 2010

Author

Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye

Bobland, NY



About
I'm really actually Bob. more..

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