One Last Breath

One Last Breath

A Poem by Hello, Goodbye
"

...one last breath as death takes life's place..

"
A stranger walks in the night. 
Up to me, pulls out a knife. 

Before my mind streams a light. 
Before my heart a flash of life. 

Against a wall (sadly) I am trapped. 
The knife is penetrated inside of my fleeing back. 

A scream of terror escapes my mouth. 
Life giving death all of its clout. 

Pain that is impossible to believe. 
But not the blood running down my sleeve. 

I turn and stare at a strangers face. 
A blank expression that is not fazed. 

He then uses his knife in creative ways. 
Making sure that I will have no more days. 

My cries are muffled by its laughter. 
Stabbing deep.. faster and faster. 

My body, it now starts to tremble. 
A horrific pain inside of my temple. 

The lungs in my chest, no longer move. 
The beats of my heart, they take their last cue. 

Into my head, my eyes roll back. 
Darkness then... starts to attack. 

In a sudden shock, my eyes open wide. 
I now see a turning fan, up high. 

All around, light now starts to stream. 
Its not heaven. 

It was all a dream. 
- DD

© 2010 Hello, Goodbye


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OT
very nice!! eerie indeed - I like the rhyme scheme as well! you play with it well, weaving the rhymes in and out to great effect from the ABAB to the couplets speeding it up with the pace of the piece and content in general! very nice!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


Life giving death all of its clout - love that line!

(When I was 15, I dreamed I got hit by a car, in vivid detail, dreamed I died and everything...someone read a poem at my funeral, and I woke up and recalled the entire poem. I knew it was only a dream, but I didn't cross the road at the exact spot for years.)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very Deep, and a great piece

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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A
This is a very good poem, dreams always express our darkest fears and shows us our true feelings that we don't sometimes realize in our conscious mind, i liked the images you described and how you described the sudden eyes opening after a dream by a " sudden shock " very beautiful

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

excellent poem captivating story which is filled with emotion and emits darkness and fear which I really like and loved the twist at the end very original well done

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great imagery here, I loved it, great flow and awesome ending.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wicked and eerie and dark

a wild ride

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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.
ahh great twist in the end and very graphic..maybe more a nightmare though..

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very intense. And but a dream. I guess the good thing is any regrets you had as your life ended can now be resolved!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow…
Great…
The way you depicted…
Our desire to cling to life…
Very creative and authentic…
Loved it



Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2180 Views
74 Reviews
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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on September 16, 2010
Last Updated on September 16, 2010

Author

Hello, Goodbye
Hello, Goodbye

Bobland, NY



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