Entomb My Spirit

 

Breathless...

Wearied by your waters,

I sit at the edge of the sea

staring at a horizon

that bleeds blue light.

 

I shed my clothes long ago,

for you, so that my bareness

would translate natures music,

and you would hear the sound

of my heart beating without

any barrier between us.

 

My soul speaks to yours

in the surging of waves

and the shifting of sand,

I call to you in the shrill cry

of a seabird, and the whisper

of a salt laden breeze.

 

When the tide comes in,

I will be here waiting

for the tumultuous waters

to entomb my spirit,

to preserve my body, my heart,

until it can carry me

through the depths and

deliver me safely

to the polished sands

of your private shore. 

Reviews

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I don't really write poetry. I don't know what makes a poem great, or what makes it even a poem, so I go by my own definition of what makes a poem great. Can a short set of words touch off my spirit and carry me to a place of revelation? That's the question I ask myself when I approach poetry. I think your poem does, and in that respect, I think your poem is great.

Though I think the entire poem is beautifully written, the fourth stanza speaks the loudest and the clearest to me. Words of gold...

[bluessadmood]

breathless,wearied by you waters,i think there is lots of love in here,so you sit by the sea,you bear all so he hears the heart beats like no barrier,and then you wait for the tremulous waters,to preserve body and heart i thing you mix between the two in wonderful way,i could get a hint of relating the two until he carries you preserved to his private shores,just wonderful,i lost you a little ,but i think i found my way again...

[S.J.Floreen]

I liked this. It was so beautifully done. I love the pictures you can paint with words. Wish I could do that better.

[Michael X]

Beautiful form that lends itself to the overall expression, romantically sweeping, soft passion flows from
the heart of this writing, sensually wisping, the desire embraces the reader in way of imagery, detail,

transporting emotions, as consuming as any golden horizon colliding with the sea of love, I really liked
the image of whispers imbuing the salty breeze, creates vivid impression of ocean and its enchantingly

classic qualities, the features of soul speaking adds the pinnicle depth to whats being gracefully said.
Take Care. Mike

[Staci Brown]

salt-laden breezes helping to preserve you :D nice touch! whether it was intention or happenstance i love how it connects... preserving with salt :)

love your imagery you use to paint this beautiful picture and the interactions between you and the world around you. nice balance :)

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[Adrian K. Smith]

There is an ease to your imagery that makes it feel natural. If it is written with pretense, it is not observable in the least - I only say that, because it appears so natural - perhaps it is a hint of jealousy. The undercurrents of emotion that ride between the letters of the words is drawn neatly to a new beginning in the last line.

[Vanessa]

Firstly, my absolute favorite part has to be the entire second stanza. it was breath-taking.
Second, the language and thewords were just stunning.
Great job.

--vk