Not My Romeo.

Romeo Romeo where art thou?
A thumping heart to me you endow.

I wish you were mine,
I wish your heart I could find.
For you are always in my mind.

You aren't mine,
But for you I'd, for hours, stand in line.

You belong to another,
You love each other,
Of that I'm sure.

I don't hate her.
But you are her man,
And for that I berate her.

Romeo Romeo, I love you,
What shall I do?

You don't see me,
Never will we be,
But not one day don't I dream of it.

I wish you could see,
The part of me,
That wished for you long into the night.
I try with all my might
But still you're not mine.

But you don't see,
Never together we'll be.

Because you're not my Romeo.

Author's Note

It's kind of silly but we all feel this was sometimes... well for the guys it's Juliet... But that doesn't really work with the poem does it? :D <3

Reviews

[Just Brooke]

Silly?? No, it's Shakespearean, you even wrote it in that style with your word arrangement and style. I love it. It's captivating and flows well and your rhyming is amazing. This is a really unique and eloquent poem. You shouldn't be modest about its powerful. Yes, in ways it's simplistic, but it's beautiful at the same time. You are very talented and I think you could become known with a style like this. Amazing work of art you have here, friend.

[Daydreamer54]

I like this becuz i can definitly relate, byut i think even if he wasn't with her, I still don't think i would stand a chance...;( great write!

[Kiri Nells]

Very well written and in no way nauseating. ;) Love that which cannot be does make us feel silly sometimes, does it not? It works quite well with poem and I'm sure many people can relate to it. Great write!

[An Ordinary Woman]

I think it works very well! I think it's fantastic. I like the rhyme, too. Well done!

[al25]

Another great poem. Very well written. Works well with the romeo and juliet theme. Anyway I think you shoudn't give up you never know what could happen tomorrow!!

[NickyGL]

I LOVE THIS!!!! lol its got a GREAT flow and GREAT meaning i love it!!

[Erika Kim Harris]

Over all, I like it. The rhyme in some places seems forced (ex, "I wish you were mine/I wish your heart I could find/For you are always in my mind.") and in other places your meter is off. Try doing scansion of your poem for the dominant meter (ie, iambic pentameter, trochaic hexameter, etc) and then adjusting lines that are off so that they match. The major area I noticed a meter problem was actually in lines 1 and 2. In line 2, there seems to be an extra syllable. For instance, lines 1 & 2 might work better with "Romeo, Romeo, where art thou?/My heart is beating for you now" That's not the best example, but it was the best I could do off the bat.

[Kala Benfield]

i really liked this alot ! I can connect with this one. I once had a long time crush and i wish he loved me.
But God works in mysterious ways, im inlove with this boy and im happy with it. S there really are happpy endings (:

[Victoria Scott]

Absolutely beautiful. I love how one can connect to the poem, you really captured the rather hopelessness but in a good way :)