The Scars of Growing Up

This is a scholarship entry that I'm working on! I would appreciate it if you could help me edit it a little bit so it is more likely to win :)

Pictures are the enemy of the timid

Not feeling up to par in the looks department

Me, myself, and I are my harshest critics

It took years to be comfortable in my bare skin

To look through the lenses that emphasize my dorky personality

At the mirror in front of me, and love who I am

Acne scars embellish the soft skin around my pale rose lips

Signs that remind me, I survived growing up

New breakouts in the middle of my brows

Prove to me, I still have more growing up to do

Freckles dusted across my cheeks and nose

Each dot representing a summer’s day well spent outside

Ghostly white skin, dry and reddened

Battled and beaten by the whips of this winter’s wind

Wide green eyes that resemble nothing of my mother or father

Wild emerald irises that hold back the words I do not speak

Words that let you know how sensitive I am

To hateful comments said behind my back

Or a joke that has gone too far

That “beautiful” smile people always point out

“That smile looks good on you! You should do it more.”

Masks the broken pieces of my small ego

That my so called friends destroyed long ago

Although the smile that few notice

Is the real, genuine warmth of how happy I am

When I spend 3 hours or more in the water, swimming until I can’t swim any more

Seeing my beloved cat as he jumps up on my shoulders

Going down town and giving gift cards to those on the street who need them

Seeing the gratitude in my neighbor’s worn out eyes as I clear the drive way

Hearing the music flowing out of my piano as my fingers dance across the ivory keys

Running to meet my other half after travelling 1,000 miles to see him

Who am I with no filters blocking the real me?

An intelligent young lady who has risen above the shell

That other people that had created for her

A girl who has accepted the scars that fuel her fire

To be better than those who did her wrong

A human being that takes pride in the small favors she does

Because she wants someone else to have what she did not when she was growing up

Author's Note

Hello!!! I have a special request for this particular poem. There is a scholarship I am sending this to so that I may still go to college next year. I would greatly appreciate it if you guys could help me edit any typos or have helpful suggestions that could improve it in anyway. It's a really big deal and I would love you forever! The prompt is this:

There’s all sorts of ways to make sure the world sees you the way you want to be seen in your selfies. There are low-tech options like tilting your hat the right way or getting your makeup just so, and then there are more newfangled things like how to angle your phone or, of course, a million different kinds of filters.

So tell us: who are you without all that stuff? What do your photos look like without filters? What do your words SOUND like without filters? Write a poem about the most authentic version of yourself

I have to turn it in March 6th so any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated with the next day!!!!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The words are strong and direct. I believe in the logic of equal good and negative. Ensure you add your positive skills.
"A girl who has accepted the scars that fuel her fire
To be better than those who did her wrong"
In a entry form. You want to make the reader feel you are special. Write your positive strength and journey with the same vigor. Thank you for sharing the entry. I hope you do well. Remember you are a talented writer with strength of good decision and possibilities of great things.
Coyote

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you so much! I know I tend to think on the negative side of things, so maybe that's why my poems focus on that. I'll try to rewrite some of it more in a positive light. Thank you for the helpful feed back :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I hope you great luck my friend.

[Coffee Vampier]

Bravo and congrats you have great sentence structure and I might say that it flowed well. I didn't understand why is went from down playing yourself to up playing life- I don't view people when it comes to acne scares I look into their eyes and see their smile and as I read I am sure that you are just the person beautiful enough to photograph! I am pro ( I would know.)

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you very much for your feed back!

[Starcaller]

It's very beautiful I'm sure it makes the reader reflect on their own experiences growing up and the hurtful things they where put through at least that's how I feel about it. I'm sorry I didn't critique this till now but either way I think it sends a powerful message about who you are and how you see yourself. Thank you for sharing. Hope to take a look at more of your work soon, and good luck with any college stuff you might be working on.

[Heromen Selena]

Oh thanks! And its no problem :) thank you for the review!

[Celestial Witch Child]

This poem is perfect. Keep up the good writing.

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you!

[Shay]

i love how direct the words are as well as the tone thanks for sharing

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you so much :)

[Samhitha Mopati]

A nice read-worthy poem!
I just hoped for a more descriptive ending. An ending which makes the reader surrender himself to the girl mentioned, and a bold answer to the questioning "scars" she has developed.

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you for the critique and for reading :)

[GreenEyedPoet]

What a beautiful piece! I enjoyed reading it. :)

[Heromen Selena]

Thanks for reading!

[Shane Mohamed]

Beautiful. We all have scars, but we should not let them linger. Move on. Your best piece by far.

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you so much :)

[Cool Girl]

I love your poem!!
I don't think you could rewrite it to make it sound any more perfect!!
Amazing job, and good luck with your scholarship :)

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you for your kind words :)

[Cool Girl]

Youre welcome!! I wish you the best of luck :)

[Yellowpinch]

I like the poem - it's very straightforward but also goes quite deep. The alliteration and imagery with the whip of the winter wind is well done.

A couple of suggested edits:
Ghostly white skin, dry and redden - should it be 'reddened'?

That other people that had created it for her - Perhaps remove 'it'?

You've got great writing ability - good luck with the scholarship!

[Heromen Selena]

Thank you for helping me catch my mistakes! I didn't even notice those things. Thank you for the feedback! :)

[Yellowpinch]

You're welcome!