The Coldest Moves

I watched you make one of the coldest moves in front of our reflection. You plunged through billowing smoke into areas that lacked any expression at all. I saw you shift away into various shades of pictures then run shrieking using all that you had seen as an excuse.  While all the while, I was arranging to tour the fields of you.

I saw headlines printed in places so that they became more than just this morning’s declarations. I really liked how you always understood all the tiny little windows you said they held because this is how you knew everything that was happening.  Yes, you knew it all.

There were hundreds of experiences I could hear asking me why you were making the coldest moves.  Yet, you acted as if you never heard them. Still, I saw the look in your eyes the minute they approached. Somehow, I could tell you knew that what you saw smiled and looked forward to not hearing what we both needed to say.

All I could do was shake my head and begin to face more puzzling hours filled with only you and your insistence that I adjust the temperature of the air you had frozen.  I wondered how anyone could stand and look at you and not be startled by who you are.

Blurs of agitation too strange for even me to identify looked over my shoulder with excitement.  They were not there to inhale my perfume only to seek out my scars. The scars that visit my heart from time to time to remind me they can still hold my arms back from reaching out to you.

Even though you laid right next to me we could no longer find each other in the billowing smoke that issued from our breath.  Ice had begun to form between our hearts within the coldest moves.  There we lay in the darkness both of us looking for the best place to hide.

Take my word for it, as this was not an illusion.  I swear I saw cold clouds hanging over the bed laughing at you and me. Because we didn’t have the faintest idea that the darkness wasn’t real or how close we lay to what could make us warm again.

Author's Note

I attempted to write a story but it appears I wrote Prose instead........maybe in time.....

Reviews

[Judy Ponceby]

Oh my Neva. This is very deep. Beautifully written. How I'm interpreting this is a couple drifting apart, unable to find one another, unable to reach out for the warmth each one desires so much. Your words flow beautifully. Being a bit more on the concrete side I may not be interpreting this as you meant it, but I enjoyed it very much.

[Art]

a very emotional piece Neva...how hard it is when two Soul's are at the end of a relationship, even when they try their hardest to overcome all the division there is no where or no way to overcome it and ...it ends...nice work

[The old me]

another very deep and great poem.

[emmajoy]

This is tragically and hauntingly beautiful, your words really caress your emotions and i'm left feeling almost empty. For some reason, this stays with me, ' While all the while, I was arranging to tour the fields of you.'

[unknown]

Wow Neva, I see you are venturing off to new experiences in writing. It's been a long time since I've written a story. You did a good job with this even if it is prose.

[JanuaryDreamer♥]

Neva, this was a very well written Prose :) It wouldve even been good as a story, but it is an UH-MAZING prose...the best ive read, honestly :) it was a great read and im glad i got the chance to read such a great prose! thanks for sharing that with us!
~gabby

[Derek S.Keck]

This is really lovely Neva and it's really unique because you wrote it in a poetic style. I like to experiment and intermix styles, it adds for some interesting blends of work. I think most of my poetry reflects that my art is deeper planted in short story writing. I have a tendency to blend a lot of dialouge and progressive motion and scenery in what I write, it's sort of why i get these hybrid talking poems that are reminciant of tthe talking blues, like what Dylan use to write(not that anything that I could produce in a lifetime could ever compare to Dylan). This is a unique blend Neva, and it works; unconventional is everything!

[Audrey Howitt]

Hi Neva. Yes, poetry it is, story it is not. Although I must say that it is beautifully written. I have trouble writing stories and I think as poets, we fall in love with the way words capture a moment in time. Stories are about something else entirely--the way the interior of a person works or fails to work with the exterior world. But again, I am not good at stories so take this with a grain of salt.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This was a merciless bombardment of imagery.
My mind is blown! Bravo! Bravo!

[Pebbles]

oh my goodness Neva you are such a talented lady, this really is very special in deed.

[al25]

I like the way your writing flows. Good job.