Heavenly Dream

HEAVENLY DREAM

Where I find you to hold you near
On an ocean's shore where waves wash away our fear Wiping away each tear assuring that I will always find you here

Looking into the eyes I'm falling into losing myself as I'm giving, while given you

Flying into the setting sun
hand in hand
life in life
Is everything that it seems

Feeling in my heart what's coming holding you while opening my eyes smiling... from such a heavenly dream

Fading away Into another night after a fleeing day
Closing my eyes to greet you pulling you in while I'm pouring out all my love I have to give

Always hearing my call
You come to me again I fall
kissing and caressing
cherishing and blessing
While wondering how possibly far we can make love on this falling star

Rolling around with you hearing you laugh and seeing you smile
I go wild with desire for more

Coming ever so closer
To the oceans shore across a full moons gleam you wipe away my tears as I awake from a heavenly dream

All through the day I search for you all thou I never do see often led in hopeful direction lifted higher only to be let down
My perception Is not always what it seems thank GOD...
The night will always come back around
Before I lay my head down
I pray the Lord my soul to keep yet beg and plead still on my knees,
Let my heart be free!

My true love is waiting for me with-in a heavenly dream

Reviews

[Writergurl]

such a wonderful free style write, really enjoyed this

[Richard🖌]

Well, Charles,
This is such a bliss-filled Free Style composition, with spot-on and near rhymes, you've so generously shared for our pleasure and enjoyment, and whom, with an ounce of warm blood pumping their veins could find fault with the emotional depth, beauty, and passion dancing all through the content of your entreating words … not me, that's for certain.
Excellently done, my friend, with but a few techy touches you might address (if you've a mind to) that will polish this into the virtual poetic masterpiece I sincerely believe it deserves to be.
1) If you're going to punctuate, do it fully throughout.
2) It's simply incorrect grammar to capitalize every line for no reason, and it often confuses the reader where one thought, meaning, feeling, nuance, moment, etc; ends and begins, effectively tripping the natural flow; especially, without complete punctuation; the olde masters had terrible grammar … LOL!
3) V1, make it near, fear, each tear, and here for spot-on rhymes, and in L6, avoid using the same word "you" twice in the same verse, must less in the same line, and so forth throughout.
4) Syntax (poetic voice) could stand a bit of buffing throughout.
Charles, for a full critique, let me know, and I'll share a complete edit for your consideration in messaging.

This work, from a poet who knows how to speak his imaginative heart and dreams shows great potential and I love it … thank you my friend! ⁓ Richard : )

[....................]

This is the best kind of poetry - that which is effortless to write... these words reflect your raw feelings about love and you capture the essence of yearning for love so very well...it's good to know that your wishes and prayers were answered...nicely-done, Charles

[Lyingwithlions]

Thank you so much for your review and comment. It's very appreciated. :)

[Sheila Kline]

Absolutely lovely, dreamy, yes so very dreamy!! I especially like your last lines that speak of prayer to the Lord for my soul to keep.

[Lyingwithlions]

Thank you so much!

[Sheila Kline]

It is my pleasure to review your work! - will be back to do more.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Beautiful poem, and I love the devotion to your wife.
So good to see.

[Lyingwithlions]

Why thank you! :) .... She demands it, and deserves it so.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Very refreshing to see. :)
Blessings to you both.

[Bear]

How can I bad mouth this poem knowing that it was inspired by your wife and just might have been the key to winning her heart. I will just have to be extra critical on your next poem, Ha! Ha! :~)

[Lyingwithlions]

Actually she probably wouldn't mind. I'm pretty sure she thinks I wrote it for someone else.
Like I said, I had written it several months before we met. Honestly it was for no one but me and my hopes. I was done "playing" and being played" and longed for a relationship with substance, I wished to find my true love in this poem. Then it just so happened to come true. It's never been edited and probably could use some work... It is special to me, and probably why I've never touched it again.
However I am open to suggestions. I certainly appreciate your critique! Wether on this one or any of my pieces.

Thank you for reviewing,

[Levi Levin]

Excellent poem from the heart. Great job and welcome to the cafe!

[Lyingwithlions]

Thank you. And I'm very happy to be here!! I'm amazed at the power and beauty of these words which are shared here. :)

[Lyingwithlions]

This was written a few months before I met my wife who is the love of my life. I never think to much about what I want to write except the first line. The rest just comes to me once I start. I often change and add to my poems as I re-read them several times. This came out pretty much unedited because I loved it after the first read back.