The Forbidden Tree

Many wonder

Why the tree is forbidden

Some try to test it

But many go

The way we choose

Is what we know

Today, tomorrow

We always disobey

We go and find

The forbidden tree

In many ways and shapes

We see the truth of it come out

We find out why it’s forbidden

We understand the responsibility

Of the forbidden tree

Many times we are forgotten

Our mysteries are attempted

To be solved

But, without a doubt the forbidden

In us, is what makes us what we are.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the logic and the reason for the poetry.
"But, without a doubt the forbidden
In us, is what makes us what we are."
I tell people often. Don't show world all deeds and actions. Some folks will not understand. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Zac]

Thank you for reviewing

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Moonlight]

Beautifully deep poetry you have written there Zac. The last 2 lines are my favorite though...

"But, without a doubt the forbidden
In us, is what makes us what we are."

And they are pretty true too.. I had to re read those last lines again and again because the message just seemed so amazing to me that I just could not stop. And the entire concept that you have come up with here is also really creative. Good Job! :)

[Zac]

Thank you for the encouragement.

[Moonlight]

You're welcome. :)

[AaronFreitas]

Good work Zac... it seems like anytime something is forbidden it just makes it that much more tempting. Nice write I enjoyed this buddy!

[Zac]

Thank you for the great review.

[Riley Justine]

I like this! You portrayed your message in a really artistic way here and the poem is really well written!

[Zac]

Thank you very much

[David Jae]

Humanity is about doing the forbidden, or at least the attraction of it. I like the message.

[Zac]

This message makes me feel what life is actually like

[Valkyrie Warrior]

I really like this poem!! It had strong imagery and a nice flow!

[Zac]

Thank you for the kind review

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Your welcome!

[Ankur Jain]

dude you had a message but you just couldn't weave it together.
a poem is no different from a story. except for the fact that one uses imagery instead of words to convey the message in a poem.
there isn't a single imagery in this poem to convey ur message... you used words to that.
that's why you failed. i suggest you write this again but this time use images instead of words.
i sincerely hope that i didn't hurt your feelings, i was just giving you a honest criticism.
i hope that i was of any help to you...good luck

[Zac]

Thank you for the criticism.
I read this poem over and I realized that this is soo true
Thank you

[Ankur Jain]

I'm glad i could help...

[Riley Justine]

Rule of thumb: Generally don't listen to the people who spell things wrong and use text talk in their reviews. Usually they don't know what they're talking about. A poem doesn't always need imagery and here your poem was more about the message, not the imagery. This poem flows really nicely and was written really well. I definitely wasn't a fail. Really well penned here.

[Ilerah]

I agree Raven, I don't think he failed at all, not only that but your first sentence also is true.

[Riley Justine]

So true. If you can't spell and have to shorten your words you shouldn't be critiquing other people's writing.

[Ilerah]

Ah your welcome man, though I didn't do much!

[Zac]

You guys are being a great help.

[Ilerah]

Good at writing poems! Great poem here

[Zac]

Thank you
I am honoured