sharing oxygen

sharing oxygen

A Poem by Ben Walton
"

"You'll never see me again 'Cause I miss you already."

"

it's strange how the light never looks like waves
as it splashes
and
ebbs
and
pours
all over and into the dark
and breaks the silence with the droning hum of the evening.
sitting, warm and intact, we wait for the stars to disappear
so we can be alone.
once alone we operate like a machine
gears made to work with eachother
for eachother.
the sun is a tsunami of morning before i realize
that we've been here all night.
the day breaks and its illumination cascades onto the windshield
before it floods the cabin.
it reaches our chins and we don't bother to breathe
because when you're sharing oxygen
it's hard to drown.

© 2008 Ben Walton


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

beautiful work especially moved by the last few lines

Posted 15 Years Ago


wow, this is so sweet, it was so marvelous. It gave me chills at the end.

Posted 15 Years Ago


w~o~w. this is just amazing. it captures the reader in the moment and doesn't let go. the last couple of lines just make this poem... indescribable. you are just amazing. you truly have a magical ability.

Posted 15 Years Ago


because when you're sharing oxygen
it's hard to drown.


a work of genius.
a relaxed rhythmic style and amazing word choices.
a great piece of work

Posted 15 Years Ago


That's a total Death Cab moment. I feel like I've been there before~

Light being water is an amazing metaphor. =)

Posted 15 Years Ago


Delightful.

And I want to say relaxing...as if I was breathing in the imagery. I especially appreciate the last line, rather comforting I think.

: ) Thanks for sharing.

Posted 15 Years Ago


excellent imagery...wordplay was amazing dude...congratulations on such a great piece of poetry. it certainly brought over a rush when i was reading this...

Posted 15 Years Ago


woww.
this is amazing.
i loved the detail u put into this.
it was simply beauutiful.
great write!

Posted 15 Years Ago


Beautiful. What talent you have at fifteen! If I could go back intime I'd look you up and fall in love with you. Awesome write. ( The old lady says after reading one thousand girls drool over you) You've got IT my friend.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Ari
Wow. This is the second piece of yours that I've read, and I love it. The entire second half of this has me absolutely enthralled.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

789 Views
25 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 9 Libraries
Added on February 5, 2008
Last Updated on July 1, 2008

Author

Ben Walton
Ben Walton

MA



About
I'm ben. I probably smile at you in the halls. www.myspace.com/benjaminwaltonmusic. I'm fifteen and my favorite authors are David Levithan, and Steven Chbosky. My biggest influences are Elliott Sm.. more..

Writing
Epiphany Epiphany

A Story by Ben Walton



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Voyeur Voyeur

A Poem by Jonhoi Vaughn