Remnants of happy

Remnants of happy

A Poem by Gee
"

Seperation

"
All that I kept were memories
and the misery of parting.
You, you added the "y" to ours,
magpie like collected all that glittered,
bubble wrapped, boxed it,
then left me with nothing
but the echo of a slamming door
and heartbreak for company.
Yet still I love you,
cradling nightly your pillow captured scent
as tears wash me into fitful sleep.....






© 2017 Gee



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Them f*ckwits next door to me are always slamming doors but they never bloody leave !! grrr...

Yeah I have to say Gee - I felt this one deeply and am really amazed (I read your discussion with Margey below) that you wrote this from a third party perspective coz it sure does feel like this - once was enough for me !

Go on the 'Pool
:)

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Gee

2 Weeks Ago

Cheers Tony. Hope all is well.
Flatter to deceive constantly my beloved 'pool
There are tons of heartbreak poems on this website & I have to tell you the truth, sometimes I am tired of the heartbreak refrain. BUT! This is a brilliant expression of heartbreak, very original-sounding & not full of the typical whining. Here you are truly reaching into a heart that reflects the deepest details of how it can feel to struggle with letting go, but wanting to savor a little longer, & then facing the inevitable pain. Great job showing the youngsters how heartbreak REALLY feels! *wink! wink!* (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you Margie, luckily never had to endure this but have watched many suffer.
Wonder how many have heard that door slamming.
Waiting for the return. Then realising, it was over.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

So many. One or the other seeking the greener grass and wanting to be laid in it.
Paul Bell

3 Weeks Ago

Moving on is just a text now.
Gee

3 Weeks Ago

No worth to wedding vows, bit like football contracts
wow, raw & very emotionally expressed.
i particularly like the line " You, you added the "y" to ours,"
as a female, i apologise for the compulsion many women seem to have for the need to grab everything as they leave.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you Carola
This is a clear expression of pain and heart break. A nice, short and emotional poem. I like it.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Cheers....m
My comment is so nit-picky I am almost too embarrassed to submit it. Keyword: almost.

Since adding "'y' to ours" is detail-oriented, it's inconsistent to leave "cradling nightly your pillow captured scent" as is. I think a "-" would go nicely between "pillow" and "captured". Happy nit-picking to me.

Otherwise, good heartbreak poem. Man, I hate heartbreak poems. I don't usually read them.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you...
Your words beautifully and completely capture the essence of a heartbreak. Yet perhaps, the hope of something better ahead, may help us go on.

Posted 1 Month Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gee

1 Month Ago

Thank you Divya
DIVYA

1 Month Ago

You are most welcome!
You captured the moments well of a not so happy ending.nice touch Gee

Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

Cheers mate
Hardly a poem found here on this site,
relays us its message so strong and so bright.
Time melts our sadness more gently than now.
Tears fade tomorrow as God will allow.

I'll not go picking the nits in this rhyme
We'll seek better meter at some other time.
For now, my friend, let me compliment you
for the beautiful poems and message you do.

Left with the echo of a slamming door
This verse returns it and oh, so much more.


Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

You're good, thank you
It’s like a death when love is lost. Your poem exactly captures the bitterness, sadness, emptiness, that rips a hole in one’s existence. Upside- one appreciates the good things one has so much more. Well-penned Gee!

Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

One of our good friend is actually going to grief counselling to cope with the break up of her marri.. read more
Annette Pisano Higley

1 Month Ago

Been there, done that, learned better, moved on....You’re very welcome Gee!

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492 Views
19 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 12, 2017
Last Updated on October 15, 2017
Tags: Love, separation, loneliness

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom



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