Treachery

Treachery

A Story by Jyoti_Ablaze




The earth shivered with dread and despair 
For it can do nothing but witness the treachery 
Of the dark loathing and ravening night 
When her body was ruthlessly dragged to the graveyard!





© 2016 Jyoti_Ablaze



Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
New piece.
Read, review and rate.
Thank you for your time.

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Featured Review

Wow.
It speaks to me of an evil befalling an innocence. It feels abrupt, callous, physical, brutal.
"Dark, loathing, ravening night" - vivid imagery.
The brevity of your piece leaves me as the reader in a sudden state of shock, as if I just witnessed an unspeakable horror from which I permanently will be contaminated and from which I will have no hope of recovering.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much! This is the best compliment this poem has been adorned with, till now.
G.. read more



Reviews

Dark and deep.... Wonder why you have listed this as a story?

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Maybe it was meant to be a story but for some reason I left it with only one stanza and could not ma.. read more
hey, this was pretty brutal! I like how you can just sum it all up in one short stanza, I wish I could write shortly but my mind is always spinning with things. one thing is, I dont think the word dread fits in there but its just a suggestion.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Oh thank you for your honest review! Glad you visited!
Jyoti,
Striking and too concealed a diction.
flashes of original verse herald the the creations awaiting inside you for birth
carry on...

M P Ramesh

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you for your awesome review! :)
the appreciation is must for such a beautiful piece. I have no word to describe what i'm feeling like. it's kind of sorrow, a painful smile and it affects my thought. it's negative, not theme but the emotions. i like it. it should be 5 on 5 star...

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Deepak for your insightful review! Very much appreciated!
Nice and dark in short verse. Your a star. Nice job.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Oh Thank you Mr. Wells! :)
A very deep and dark. Nice one.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you very much!
The first line especially caught my eye, making the poem seem less confined? Well, it made the poem itself seem, less in the girl's own world, but everywhere, and spread awareness of the things outside of herself. I feel like I'm just... slowly wilting right now, but what I wanted to say, was that it was awesome. I love your description, and while some writers will stick to the girls pov. and strictly to details of HOW the girl was taken, the way she was dragged, or killed and stuff, you made it simple, but still enough detail to leave us wondering, about what had happened, what other sins are happening, not jsut to the girl, but in the world.

Yeah...

Your writing style is unique and special.

WONDERFUL WORK.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Oh thank you so much for your wonderful insights on my piece!
Your kind words are much apprec.. read more
oooooooooooo! spooky good says i! so few words but packed with intrigue and emotions .. well done!
E.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

1 Year Ago

Thank you E!
Glad you liked it :)
Love the image of the earth shivering. Excellent excellent

Posted 2 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Brian for stopping by and accompanying earth in witnessing the dreadful scene.
Brian F. Lockard

2 Years Ago

You are welcome
Wow.
It speaks to me of an evil befalling an innocence. It feels abrupt, callous, physical, brutal.
"Dark, loathing, ravening night" - vivid imagery.
The brevity of your piece leaves me as the reader in a sudden state of shock, as if I just witnessed an unspeakable horror from which I permanently will be contaminated and from which I will have no hope of recovering.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jyoti_Ablaze

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much! This is the best compliment this poem has been adorned with, till now.
G.. read more

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Added on September 6, 2015
Last Updated on March 10, 2016

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



About
My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

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A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



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