Treachery

The earth shivered with dread and despair 

For it can do nothing but witness the treachery 

Of the dark loathing and ravening night 

When her body was ruthlessly dragged to the graveyard!

Author's Note

New piece.
Read, review and rate.
Thank you for your time.

Reviews

[DirectTangent]

Wow.
It speaks to me of an evil befalling an innocence. It feels abrupt, callous, physical, brutal.
"Dark, loathing, ravening night" - vivid imagery.
The brevity of your piece leaves me as the reader in a sudden state of shock, as if I just witnessed an unspeakable horror from which I permanently will be contaminated and from which I will have no hope of recovering.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much! This is the best compliment this poem has been adorned with, till now.
Glad it can have such an effect!

[Ben Noah Suri]

Dark and deep.... Wonder why you have listed this as a story?

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Maybe it was meant to be a story but for some reason I left it with only one stanza and could not make myself complete it. I thought it could be entertained as mysterious, hideous story.
Thank you for stopping by.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

hey, this was pretty brutal! I like how you can just sum it all up in one short stanza, I wish I could write shortly but my mind is always spinning with things. one thing is, I dont think the word dread fits in there but its just a suggestion.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh thank you for your honest review! Glad you visited!

[M P Ramesh]

Jyoti,
Striking and too concealed a diction.
flashes of original verse herald the the creations awaiting inside you for birth
carry on...

M P Ramesh

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you for your awesome review! :)

[Deepak Belbase]

the appreciation is must for such a beautiful piece. I have no word to describe what i'm feeling like. it's kind of sorrow, a painful smile and it affects my thought. it's negative, not theme but the emotions. i like it. it should be 5 on 5 star...

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Deepak for your insightful review! Very much appreciated!

[Willard Wells]

Nice and dark in short verse. Your a star. Nice job.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh Thank you Mr. Wells! :)

[Shaheesta]

A very deep and dark. Nice one.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you very much!

[Crimson Apples]

The first line especially caught my eye, making the poem seem less confined? Well, it made the poem itself seem, less in the girl's own world, but everywhere, and spread awareness of the things outside of herself. I feel like I'm just... slowly wilting right now, but what I wanted to say, was that it was awesome. I love your description, and while some writers will stick to the girls pov. and strictly to details of HOW the girl was taken, the way she was dragged, or killed and stuff, you made it simple, but still enough detail to leave us wondering, about what had happened, what other sins are happening, not jsut to the girl, but in the world.

Yeah...

Your writing style is unique and special.

WONDERFUL WORK.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Oh thank you so much for your wonderful insights on my piece!
Your kind words are much appreciated! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

oooooooooooo! spooky good says i! so few words but packed with intrigue and emotions .. well done!
E.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you E!
Glad you liked it :)

[Brian F. Lockard]

Love the image of the earth shivering. Excellent excellent

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Thank you, Brian for stopping by and accompanying earth in witnessing the dreadful scene.

[Brian F. Lockard]

You are welcome